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Nov26

Your Fratoscope: November 26, 2017

by tonyd on November 26, 2017 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  You emerge from your food coma in time to enjoy birthday cake.

Aries:  You will double the number of Christmas party invites you get this year because zero times two is still zero.

Taurus:  Making King Crabs does not go well, as the crabs get a hold of your knives and end up in a stand off with the cops in your kitchen.

Gemini:  You’ll panic at the Popsicle store and buy orange.

Lemini:  Your uncontrollable giggling won’t lighten the mood at either funeral you attend this week.

Cancer:  This week, the baby you shoved on Black Friday ten years ago will be back for revenge.

Leo:  You’ll realize no one wants to eat ice cream flavored with new car smell.

Virgo:  The stars say, stuffing your turkey with leftover Halloween candy was efficient and delicious.

Libra:  You will be overcome by a sense of profound procrastination and find yourself unwilling to express it.

Scorpio:  Your sex face scares the neighbors, so how about shutting those curtains?

Sagittarius:  The girl scouts will leave you increasingly threatening letters until you pay for those cookies.

Capricorn:  Turns out, that guy from the supermarket isn’t stalking you, he’s just overly concerned whether or not your produce bags will hold.

Aquarius:  You’ll clean your house and discover the roommate you’ve always suspected was there.

Pisces:  Turns out, building a throne of donuts doesn’t get you chicks, just ants.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, frat boy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
Comments Off on Your Fratoscope: November 26, 2017
Nov25

Level Up: Draconius Go

by tonyd on November 25, 2017 at 12:01 am

My nephew told me about a new mobile game built by fans of Pokemon Go that improve upon the original mobile game concept.  Draconius Go is basically Pokemon, but with more dragons and more dimensions.  Literally.

Like Pokemon, you capture monsters in little balls at various locations IRL using the radar on your GPS on your phone.  These guys have expanded upon the initial concept, so not only do you capture monsters and hatch them from eggs, but you also travel through dimension rifts to capture different monsters.  You can also hatch special golden eggs with the mother of all dragons who only resides in the other dimension.  Rifts show up randomly on the map.

Instead of stops, you have Pillars of Abundance.  There are much more of them than stops.

Backing up, to get those previously mentioned golden eggs, you need to find fragments of a treasure map, compare that to an actual map of the area, find it, then use shovels to dig in the spots illustrated (Up to nine per map).  Also, random treasure chests show up and give you free stuff.

Additionally, you get quests and collect runes.  The quests reward you will spell recipes that you can use by expending the runes.  The spells do interesting things like reach stops that are too far to reach, award bonuses and filter weaker monsters.

There are also artifacts you can buy or find.  These artifacts award permanent bonuses to the user during the hunt.

To me, the maps have been the best part of the game.  It is TOUGH to figure out where the map is and you probably will get into your car to get to the map.  (At least I did during the second map I found, which was 8 miles away.)

You also capture arenas and libraries.  Arenas award gold, libraries allow you to change up your monsters’ abilities.  The only downside, so far, is that some of the pillars, libraries and arenas are completely inaccessible, but I hear they’re working on it.  Overall, I’m enjoying the game immensely.  The guys who built it seem way more responsive than the Pokemon Go guys.  Although I continue to keep up with it, the only Pokemon I see are very common these days.

 

I give Draconius Go 9 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

└ Tags: arenas, artifacts, Draconius Go, dragons, funny, Game, gamers, gold, Level Up, libraries, map, mobile game, Monsters, phone, Pokemon Go, rating, review, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, treasure
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Nov24

Rewritten Headlines: Taxi Poop to Gross Bread

by tonyd on November 24, 2017 at 12:01 am

British Taxi Driver Gross

Florida Still Florida

Science Denier to Die by Science

Identity Politics Jumps Shark

Homeless Guy Kinda Rich

Navy Has No Sense of Humor

Teaching REALLY Sucks

Yogi Sick of Picnics

Old Guys People Blowing Social Security

Finland Also Gross

└ Tags: British, cocaine, comedy, current events, Finland, Florida, funny, gross bread, headlines, Homeless guy, humor, identity politics, Navy, News, old guys, penis, prostitutes, Rewritten Headlines, Rewritten News, Rich, science denier, Super Frat, Taco Bell, Taxi poop, teacher, Tony DiGerolamo, Yogi
Comments Off on Rewritten Headlines: Taxi Poop to Gross Bread
Nov22

Twitter in Focus: Matt Crowley

by tonyd on November 22, 2017 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is Onion writer, Matt Crowley.  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@MatthewPCrowley

November 14th:  “People say the film industry is in decline like they don’t know that in 2018 we’re getting movies called Gnome Alone AND Sherlock Gnomes.”

What?  No Gnomunji?

November 17th:  “Crazy to think that Ross Perot was the one person on the 1996 presidential debate stage who wasn’t a sexual predator.”

Bob Dole too?!

November 17th:  “What’s happening in Alabama is like if the family from Capturing The Friedmans were an entire state.”

That is a Dennis Miller level of obscure reference.

November 19th:  “My three greatest fears.”

Sounds like Thanksgiving in Texas.

November 19th:  “Chicago has the best food.”

It’s what they’ll serve when the Apocalypse comes.

November 20th:  “2017. Smdh.”

Is that man being stung to death?

November 20th:  “Ooh and Nala is first on the buzzer!”

Is this where the Onion sends you?

12 hours ago:  “No.”

So easy to criticize, so hard to satirize.

April 15th:  “”My name’s not on the list? Well maybe you’ve heard of my friend Benjamin Franklin?” – Thomas Jefferson trying to get into a club”

Hey!  You can’t retweet yourself!  Although that was pretty funny.

Okay, let’s rate Matt’s Tweets.  Pretty consistent comedy tweets.  I give him a 7 for Style, an 8 for Mustness and a 9 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 8, follow Matt.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

└ Tags: comedy, funny, humor, Matt Crowley, Super Frat, The Onion, Tony DiGerolamo, Twitter in Focus, writer
Comments Off on Twitter in Focus: Matt Crowley
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