Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is the Goddess herself, Judy Tenuta! She’s funny on stage, let’s see what she’s tweeting.
May 7th: “For Mother’s Day, instead of flowers, Bruce Jenner’s kids are giving him a “trans-plant”!! ”
Wow. She’s still got it!
She’s still rockin’ the accordion. Nice.
May 9th: “HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL MOM’S ESPECIALLY MY GREAT MOM, JOANN! LOVE YOU FOREVER, MOM! ”
Aw, that’s nice. For Mother’s Day, I let my mother cook me dinner. She was so happy! Not happy enough to make desert, but still…
May 12th: “Gisele is not worried, she knows hubby Tom Brady would never deflate her “WonderBra”! ”
Don’t make fun of boobs, Judy. That’s going to outrage the bros. It’s the only thing they’re outraged by.
May 13th: “Party in your Pants with Judy Tenuta @ Comedy Shrine, Aurora, Il, Fri & Sat., May15 & 16! ”
Still touring. Judy needs a show. IFC or better, I say.
May 15th: “Check out my new video World Accordion to Judy – Episode 17 – Chiller Theatre https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ3pC_XsFxo …”
Oh, yeah, Chiller. That’s a fun show. The only thing weirder is Dragon Con.
May 20th: “New Bachelorette Britt wet-mouth moppin every bachelor in sight! She’s a mattress on “layaway”! ”
Well, she does want to land a man. Can’t hurt.
May 21st: “Thank you Dave, for over 30 years of great comedy! Loved the final top 10 list with Jim Carrey! ”
Yes, it was nice of him to leave his Uni-bomber-style bunker to do some comedy.
May 22nd: “We are the “Land of the Free” because of the Brave who served. A Safe Memorial Day to all! ”
Yes, we need to remember all those who grill the food. They make such sacrifice in the heat!
Wow, she is just cranking out those shows. C’mon, this is at least as good as anything on TBS that isn’t a rerun.
Okay, let’s rate Judy’s tweets. She is cranking out the material here. I give her an 8 for Mustness, a 10 for Style and a 10 for Insanity. That’s an overall score of 9.3. Follow Judy, pigs!
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.
Webcomic: Tales of Absurdity
Creator: Alexander Hoffman
Format: Mostly three panel strips
Genre: Comedy, Satire, Puns, Absurdity
Themes: Work, animals, movies, etc.
Characters: Random people and animals, according to the gag
Archive: September 1, 2013
ToA is a gag-a-week comic strip that’s meant to be absurd and it is. Hoffman’s gags range from bad puns to something close to a Perry Bible Fellowship visual. His artwork is spot on, energetic and probably adds a good 20% to the gags when they fall flat. I liked most of them. Some made me really laugh. A few I just sorta went “Wha-?” and clicked away.
The schedule is almost weekly. Sometimes it’s eight days in between or five. I like to see the strip go at least twice per week, as I think the later strips are getting better. The archive is a decent size, but you can get caught up in an hour or so. This is one to invest in, as I think it’s pretty decent, but has some room to grow, so bookmark it, bros. Why not? It’s free!
If your birthday is this week: Your present will be ignited by an errant birthday cake candle, detonating the many fireworks your uncle smuggled over state lines for you. Make sure you take cover.
Aries: The stars say, stay away from the potato salad, it’s delicious, but you’re gassy.
Taurus: You will enjoy a freshly grilled hotdog after your 12th beer at the bottom of the deep end of a pool.
Gemini: A lifeguard will pull you out of the water and give you mouth to mouth, not because you’re drowning, but because he’s lonely.
Lemini: You’ll get really high and try marching in a parade, only to realize it’s just traffic.
Cancer: You’ll thank the troops by never joining the military.
Leo: You’ll learn the hard way that it does get hot enough inside the front seat of your car to ignite a bag of fireworks.
Virgo: Your “You Road Kill It, I Grill It Barbecue” is lightly attended this year.
Libra: Your Memorial Day volleyball game ends in a town wide riot, just like last year.
Scorpio: Your “Thank You H.J.’s” for the troops are popular, even with non-troops.
Sagittarius: Despite your marksman skill, shooting mosquitos during the family barbecue is rife with controversy.
Capricorn: Kevin Costner will bring you a cheeseburger and some pasta salad during a family picnic, then disappear mysteriously into a cornfield.
Aquarius: You’ll be the first person to get sun poisoning in the summer of 2015.
Pisces: You’ll announce that you’re trying to set the record for eating the most deviled eggs, not because you can do it, but because it gives you a good excuse to eat like a pig.
Once again, bros, it’s time to look at movies and decide if they’re worth seeing. These days with movie ticket prices the way they are, why not? Here now is Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies.
San Andreas: Unless this is a movie version of GTA IV, forget it. The Rock in 2012? No thanks.
Aloha: Which also means, “Goodbye, I’m not seeing this movie.”
Entourage: What part of this two hour episode won’t we see on the HBO TV show? I’ll wait.
Jurassic World: AKA: Andy Fights the Dinosaurs. Actually, if that was the movie, I’d see it.
Max: AKA: The next two hour commercial for the armed forces. Pass.
Terminator Genisys: Arnold Schwarzenegger apparently still has a lot of divorce to pay for. It’s James Cameron or forget it.
Magic Mike XXL: Enjoy ladies. You won’t see me there.
Minions: Jesus, am I the only one sick of this? No.
Ant-Man: This may be the Marvel movie that jumps the shark. That sucking sound you will hear shortly after will be all the A-list talent fleeing the Avengers franchise with Joss Whedon.
Pixels: Have you seen the trailer for this? Is Adam Sandler trying to make us hate him? And was this really the only movie offered to Peter Dinklage? Even with the massive drop in quality on A Game of Thrones, I’d rather watch reruns.
Dear Lord, deliver us from the Summer Suck 2015.