Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is Dumber, Jeff Daniels! Let’s see what he’s tweeting.
February 23rd: “”1984″ by George Orwell.”
February 26th: “Just switched TVs. Watched Seth Rogen in a filmed Oscar bit. 5min later. Oh, it’s NEIGHBORS.
Wait, Neighbors got nominated?
February 27th: “”Snow White Oscars Go Down Fighting”
I didn’t watch it, so I have no idea.
March 4th: “Ramin Karimloo just nailed O Canada and then, without using a pitch pipe, found the starting note for the Star Spangled Banner.
What?! No Mexican theme?
March 6th: ““If he was not wiretapped, (it’s a) false charge. If a court ordered surveillance of him, on what grounds did it do so?” — E.J. Dionne”
The NSA records everyone. He doesn’t need to order a wiretap to get that info.
March 9th: “Happiness would be Colbert announcing Letterman as his only guest.”
I miss Dave, but I’m glad he had the time to retire.
You gotta talk to your agent more often, dude.
Look at this guy. With a band and everything. Nice.
Okay, let’s rate Jeff’s tweets. Well, I learned he has a band and that he watches TV. He’s busy, so I expect he doesn’t have much time for Twitter. I give him a 6 for Mustness, a 7 for Insanity and a 9 for Style. That’s an overall score of 7.3. Follow Jeff.
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.
Restaurant: White Dotte Dairy Bar & Grill
Address: 2345 Route 206 Southampton, NJ 08088 (206 & 38)
Food: Burgers & Soft Serve
Taste: Really Good
Atmosphere: Counter Diner Situation
The White Dotte is a strange mix. I had eaten there once before. This time, I was on my way back from my brother’s and stopped in for a quick bite. This place is the definition of that. Burgers, hotdogs, cheesesteaks and custard— All done really well. I remember their fries being the tits, but unfortunately I was two dollars short for fries. I just got a cheesesteak hoagie. That’s my go-to sandwich. White Dotte did it right! Yummy tomatoes, fresh lettuce, quality meat and spices— Pure yumminess.
You stand up to order your food, then you sit at a booth and they bring it to you. It makes me torn about the tipping situation. Do I tip the server? I mean, I had to stand up to order. Should I just go and eat in my car? I kinda regretted sitting inside, but it was raining.
The downside is, they have a porta-potty out back, which I had to use. The server told me it had a sink. It did, but it didn’t work. After I soaped my hands, I had nothing to wash them with. I ended up wiping my hands on napkins. When I got back to my seat, the server was throwing away my iced tea. I stopped him. It was weird. I had literally just ordered and asked him where the bathroom was. Guess he was out of it. I finished my soapy tasting cheesesteak. He offered me hand sanitizer, but that would’ve made my hands smell even worse. A weird day.
That’s not even the weirdest part about the White Dotte. It shares its space with a small electronics store. I have no idea why and that part was closed. Plus it was Sunday and no one working there looked over 20. Still, awesome sandwich. Would go again, with clean hands.
I give the White Dotte 7 out of 10 keggers. Worth a stop.
If your birthday is this week: Your birthday gifts will still smell like the dumpster where they were found.
Aries: You will accept a collect booty call.
Taurus: You will wake up in a mascot costume that smells like vomit.
Gemini: The stars say ask for that raise, your boss could use a good laugh.
Lemini: You’ll be forced to wash yourself with Wet Naps.
Cancer: You’ll buy some shit on Craigslist that you realize you sold two years ago at a yard sale.
Leo: You’ll build an obscene Lego sculpture.
Virgo: Dr. Phil will lose his shit ahead of you in line for the cashier at Wal Mart.
Libra: You’ll witness a new crime.
Scorpio: You’ll finally find out what it’s like to copulate with a statue in a park.
Sagittarius: This week, you’ll find some spare change on the floor of the Peep Show.
Capricorn: Your date will take you to a naked clown rodeo.
Aquarius: Your CrackerJack prize will be crack.
Pisces: Get ready for a wild, woolly adventure at the dry cleaner.