So, after the disappointment of Dying Light, I was looking for something way more fun. Just Cause 3 answered the call.
This is a true video game, in that, it relies heavily on video game physics. You play Rico, a Mediterranean revolutionary looking to overthrow the dictator in his home country. Rico can be shot and heals simply by being not shot for a while. He flies around the screen like Spiderman on a special grappling hook, flies with a wing suit and glides using a parasailing device that instantly folds back up when he lands. You take back villages, settlements and military bases from the dictator. Once you blow up enough stuff, it immediately goes into the rebel hands. So even if you’re surrounded by soldiers and blow up the last thing, they disappear and the town or base is yours.
That may be annoying to the purists, but in a way, that’s pure video game logic. You collect things, you blow up things, you progress the story. The story is not going to blow you away, it’s not really meant to, but I found the dictator’s soldiers good foil fodder. There’s really no conflict about it. Shoot them or they’re going to shoot you. And the dictator seems to have an endless supply. There are a ton of side challenges in the game, which really didn’t interest me. It’s fun to take back provinces, although I think the game could’ve been improved with a finite amount of enemies and giving the AI the ability to take back bases if you left them stranded (i.e. surrounded by enemies).
It’s fun to blow stuff up. Some might complain the game is too easy, but not me. I like games that are relatively easy unless you push your luck. It allows me to have fun seeing how far I can stretch things. JC3 is a great purchase for a classic video game experience.
I give Just Cause 3, 8 out of 10 keggers.
If your birthday is this week: Your birthday party will be held in an undisclosed area, so no one gets to go.
Aries: The stars say, you’ll get a surprise enema.
Taurus: You’ll notice pubic hairs on your food reviewing your meal pics on Instagram.
Gemini: Your peaceful protest is misunderstood at the Subway sandwich shop and they insist you put on pants.
Lemini: Your broker will ask if he can live on your couch for a while.
Cancer: Don’t forget to lock your car tonight, it’s leprechaun season.
Leo: The ghost of Thomas Jefferson keeps waking you up to search for pictures of Halle Berry naked on the Internet.
Virgo: Your lucky number is 7,342.854.
Libra: Your dream of training rabbits is realized until the rabbits steal your car and ruin your credit.
Scorpio: You’ll invent a new sexual position, which can only be performed with seven people.
Sagittarius: The NSA will email you and ask you to look at more interesting porn.
Capricorn: You’ll never guess who is coming to see you tomorrow.
Aquarius: Your state government will insist you wear waterwings whenever you’re in the DMV.
Pisces: You’ll be frozen in stasis for 500 years, only to be revived to find out that failing to recycle is a war crime.
Now that Game of Thrones is back, but the books are done, the TV writers have taken over. The show is now paced more like a regular TV show, unfortunately. Here now are ten other things I expect from the new season of Game of Thrones.