Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is Derek Waters, creator of Drunk History. Let’s see what he’s tweeting.
Dave Grohl was on the show? I must’ve missed that one.
November 29th: “It’s all cause of you Gags. Thank You!”
End of the season? Must be plenty of tweets after this.
January 15th: “Couldn’t be more excited and thankful to be doing this show again. Thanks to everyone who made it happen. ”
Ah, he’s like me. If he didn’t have something to promote, he probably wouldn’t be on Twitter at all.
February 10th: “Can’t wait! Get your tix below. Thank you
@Chriswitaske My next guest for @SoYouDoComedy is the creator and host of @drunkhistory Derek Waters! Mon, Feb 27th @ucbtla Tix: http://bit.ly/2kNeLpN ”
I’m surprised Drunk History is a West Coast show. Felt more like it was a New York thing. Oh, well, guess that’s were all the guests are.
Hmm, Derek must be too busy to tweet.
March 15th: “Great Scot-land! @ Edinburgh Castle https://www.instagram.com/p/BRq3TeuDSON/ ”
That’s a nice castle.
Okay, let’s rate Derek’s Tweets. Not much here. He’s more of a retweeter than a tweeter. I give Derek a 5 for Mustness, a 7 for Insanity and a 9 for Style. That’s an overall score of 7. Follow Derek and watch Drunk History. It’s pretty funny.
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.
Ingredients: One Margarita, six beers, bottle of spiced rum, ice cream, large glass, wastepaper basket.
Step One: Go out with girlfriend, agree to drink margarita’s with her.
Step Two: Check out hot female bartender’s ass.
Step Three: Get into argument with girlfriend, refuse to follow her out of the bar.
Step Four: Hit on hot bartender, get turned down.
Step Five: Become annoyed. Drink like six beers.
Step Six: Stagger back to campus with plastic margarita glass. Decide a root beer float should go inside it.
Step Seven: Fill margarita glass with root beer.
Step Eight: Add spiced rum while taking several sips from the bottle.
Step Nine: Put ice cream in glass.
Step Ten: Watch float bubble up and all over the table and then the floor.
Step Eleven: Drink float.
Step Twelve: Become nauseated because part of the margarita was still in glass.
Step Thirteen: Throw up in wastepaper basket, but most of it hits the side on the outside.
Step Fourteen: Call girlfriend, make drunken promises.
Step Fifteen: Realize you’ve call the Campus Information hotline and are crying to a recording.
Step Sixteen: Drink more float.
Step Seventeen: Vomit.
Step Eighteen: Decide more root beer will fix drink.
Step Nineteen: Realize there’s no more root beer.
Step Twenty: Drink much of the rest of spiced rum. Black out.
If your birthday is this week: Your surprise party will be nothing but a marketing event for a birthday cake company.
Aries: Your Tinder date will have a lot of witty comments until the police finally catch him.
Taurus: You will enjoy a cough syrup-flavored Danish.
Gemini: You’ll lose an argument online and are forced to write a long apology in the comments section of Pornhub.
Lemini: The ghost of John Lennon will ask if you can score him some pot.
Cancer: Your fortune cookie fortune will say, “Dude, seriously? You don’t believe this shit, do you?”
Leo: Turns out, your smart phone isn’t that smart and loses all your contacts.
Virgo: WikiLeaks will threaten to release those selfies you never posted.
Libra: The stars say, watch out for clowns, it’s pie season.
Scorpio: You’ll make sweet love to a robot who will autodial you relentlessly for months after.
Sagittarius: You’ll make an embarrassing mistake with a microwave and a kitten.
Capricorn: Your doctor will finally admit he’s never see that many Matchbox cars on a butt x-ray.
Aquarius: You’ll find out the NSA is tracking your Spotify tracks because they like them.
Pisces: You’ll see an ice cream truck and a hot fudge truck collide, but unfortunately, the whipped cream truck swerves out of the way.