Honey Boo Boo is gone and not because diabetes finally took too much of her feet. Here now are some other things I’d love to see canceled that would do the world a favor.
1. The Walking Dead: I think I’ve established why.
2. The Big Bang Theory: Hate this show. Mainly because people keep telling me to watch it because I’m a geek and they think the geeks on the show are funny. My parents in particular love this show.
3. Scandal: It is not the best show I’m not watching, it’s just a show I’m not watching. Ever.
4. Saturday Night Live: It’s over. Can we just give SNL a dignified funeral and end it?
5. New Girl: This show’s commercials annoy me. Would love to see it disappear forever.
6. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Saw the first episode and it was without a doubt one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. Embarrassing. Heard it got better. Don’t care.
7. How to Get Away With Murder: See Scandal.
8. The Leftovers: Hopefully this is already canceled. Damon Lindelof, the man who gave us Prometheus, Cowboys and Aliens, Lost, Star Trek Into Darkness and World War Z is a writer. ‘Nuff said.
9. The Strain: It was a strain to watch the first episode.
10. Gotham: For reasons I explained on another site. Although seeing the show completely compromise its premise and fast forward to Batman would be hilarious.
In college it’s likely you have a lot more coming your way than you did in high school. Even by a sheer numbers perspective, your odds have exorbitantly increased to get lucky. But you have to remember that those responsible for boosting your percentage in the sack are from all walks of life. They’ve likely called a variety of different areas home and it’s likely that they’ve had a variety of different dicks feel at home inside of them.
You know how you avoid “leaves of three” for fear of poison ivy? Well, your common sense indicator might not be as strong when you’re faced with a flirty C-cup with a loose reputation. Both of them seem pretty innocent to touch without protection—that is until you get a rash and are uncontrollably itchy.
Don’t be naive, dude. No matter how insistent your partner may be or how much you crave that free-ballin’ feel, you always need to use protection when with a partner. It’s not just to prevent unplanned pregnancy, but STDs, too. As Adameve.com explains in their Safer Sex Guide “Condoms can significantly decrease the threat of acquiring or transmitting several STDs, including HIV.” And if you’re in the mood to make things great for your partner, an oral dam might not seem sexy, but it offers the needed protection between your mouth and her lady parts. They even offer a college-budget-friendly substitution, saying that it’s safe to use cellophane wrap (plastic wrap) if you don’t just happen to have a oral dam handy.
Out of the 20 million new cases of STDs that are diagnosed each year, CDC.gov reports that over half are contracted by young people—or those aged 15–24 years. Not only that, but they say that 26% percent of all new HIV infections is among youth ages 13 to 24 years, and about 4 in 5 of these infections occur in males.
Don’t make yourself a part of those statistics.
Do you really want to end up like Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Sitting on a patient’s table designed like a firetruck in a pediatrician’s office because the anxiety of sleeping with a bunch of strangers has you panicked that your dick’s going to fall off at any moment from an STD that’s yet to reveal itself…
You can avoid the worry and stay healthy by just wearing a fucking condom.
If you need some help remembering the importance of protection, there’s plenty of beautifully crafted sayings on CondomSlogans.com. Favorites include, “You can’t go wrong, if you shield your dong,” “Cloak the joker before you poke her,” and “Contain that shanker before you spank her.”
If that doesn’t work, maybe try a Google image search for a variety of STDs. Hopefully that will remind you that no one finds oozing sores attractive. And if all else fails, just babysit someone’s kid for an afternoon—that’s usually enough to remind any college guy to wrap it up no matter how hot things get.
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media goes to die. Today’s contestant is Ron Howard. He was Opie and Richie— Probably should’ve played Archie from Archie comics back in the day. Now he’s a big time Hollywood director. Let’s see what he’s tweeting.
October 19th: “In the Heart of the Sea – Official Teaser Trailer [HD] If U haven’t seen yet: http://youtu.be/Xs-JfPjgiA4 ”
Looks good. But where’s Thor’s hammer?
7 hours ago: “Budapest at magic hour http://instagram.com/p/ubgJB1F5JS/”
Ain’t nuthin’ like a Budapest magician entertaining you at sundown.
7 hours ago: “For you lovers of The David wherever you are
7 hours ago: “Just posted a photo http://instagram.com/p/ubhg8BF5LN/”
I hope that painting gets out of painting jail soon.
6 hours ago: ‘I sent this to Hans Zimmer to inspire him (not that he needs it) eager for his Intersteller score
You know, I just automatically assume everyone in Europe has one of these in their basement.
Okay, let’s rate Ron’s tweets. Great behind-the-scenes stuff, lots of pics and bonus trailer. I give him a 9 for Style, a 7 for Insanity and a 10 for Mustness. That’s an overall score of 8.6, but I’m rounding up to 9 for Arrested Development. Follow Ron.
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