If your birthday is this week: Your birthday gifts will still smell like the dumpster where they were found.
Aries: You will accept a collect booty call.
Taurus: You will wake up in a mascot costume that smells like vomit.
Gemini: The stars say ask for that raise, your boss could use a good laugh.
Lemini: You’ll be forced to wash yourself with Wet Naps.
Cancer: You’ll buy some shit on Craigslist that you realize you sold two years ago at a yard sale.
Leo: You’ll build an obscene Lego sculpture.
Virgo: Dr. Phil will lose his shit ahead of you in line for the cashier at Wal Mart.
Libra: You’ll witness a new crime.
Scorpio: You’ll finally find out what it’s like to copulate with a statue in a park.
Sagittarius: This week, you’ll find some spare change on the floor of the Peep Show.
Capricorn: Your date will take you to a naked clown rodeo.
Aquarius: Your CrackerJack prize will be crack.
Pisces: Get ready for a wild, woolly adventure at the dry cleaner.
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is Katey Sagal. AKA: Leela, AKA: Mrs. Bundy, AKA: Sons of Anarchy Mom, she’s everywhere! Let’s see what she’s tweeting.
Looks like someone has a new show.
A show about donuts? Yeah, I can get behind it.
March 20th: “Yay! Someone posted a picture watching
She needs to be eating donuts, while watching the show. Or at least, I do.
Absolutely. Unless it involves math.
Author as well? Look at her. She never stops.
Love the behind-the-scenes. That’s a lot of people working that show.
5 hours ago: “Thanks for the shout out, Darien! Just for that, no more pudding in the holster.
#SuperiorDonuts Family. ”
Pudding? Guess that’s a joke from the show.
Okay, let’s rate Katey’s tweets. Pretty timely, plus behind-the-scenes— She’s gotta lot going on. I give Katey a 9 for Mustness, a 9 for Style and a 9 for Insanity. An overall score of 9, follow Mrs. Bundy.
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.