Jun05

Rewritten Headlines: Jesus to Spanish Fly

by tonyd on June 5, 2015 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Jesus Robs House

Plumber Lies to Everyone

Dude Really Likes Birthday Cake

Nanny State Continues to Nanny

Rampant Secret Government Continues Oppression

Piece of Shit Plane Being Built Anyway

Li’l Sebastian Kidnapped

Man Carries Gun, No One Shot

Democrat Wants More Democrats to Vote

North Korea Steal Footage From YouTube

Spanish Fly Approved

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Jun03

Twitter in Focus: Russell Peters

by tonyd on June 3, 2015 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is Russell Peters.  He’s funny on stage, let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@therealrussellp

May 12th:  “Thank u Montreal for another great audience last night at The Bell Centre!!! …

Wow, huge crowd dude.

May 16th:  “If ur short on dough for a BJ, then this is for u! … ”

You can get some great deals in Canada.

May 17th:  “Who’s next?! Few things… First, the fight was great! Second, my seats were awesome!!! (Thank u… ”

It’s good to be famous.

May 18th:  “Thank u for coming thru and blessing the mic in Hermosa Beach tonight… Thanks… ”

Arsenio is a comedian priest now?  Makes sense.  He has much to atone for.

May 19th:  “I think it’s a sign!! … ”

Handmade, made in a America—  What more could you ask?

May 19th:  “What’s a guy gotta do to get famous these days? ”

Oh, right.  I’m sure the guy that wrote that article.  He’d know.  You know, A.C. is not really promoting its talent to insert “Who he is” in the article.

May 21st:  “”Kangol Mr Sophisticated, far as I know ain’t nobody greater…” Met Kangol Kid from UTFO last… ”

Old school rap.

May 21st:  “ back in 2007 when I went on a USO tour for the troops! ”

They give you a certificate?  I guess that’s kind of like pay.

May 22nd:  “ because she’s always so good to me and she’s hilarious!!”

And easy on the eyes.

May 22nd:  “If u like KitKat then you’ll love “Take-it” … ”

But what if I’m too lazy to steal my candy?

May 22nd:  “Oh u know… Just rollerskating in Philadelphia while DJ’s…. On my way to Atlantic… ”

You should do your stand up on the roller skates.  That would be a first.

May 23rd:  “Tonight & 2morrow May 31 July 24 Aug 7 Aug 8 ”

Nice.  Guess you can’t do rollerskating in the casino.  Stupid carpeting.

May 25th:  “If it’s gotten to the point where they not only had to ask people to stop putting their penis into… ”

It’s a casino.  They need those stickers.

May 30th:  “Ha!!! ”

They also make bagpipes.

June 1st:  “This is me ALL DAY!!! ”

Yeah, I could see that.

6 hours ago:  “Never Forget!! ”

The pancake lady is my hero!

Okay, let’s rate Russell’s tweets.  Lots of pics and behind the scenes.  Definite a fun Twitter.  I give him an 8 for Mustness a 9 for Insanity and a 10 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 9.  Follow Russell.  He’s hilarious.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

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Jun01

Webcomic Review: Disco Slick

by tonyd on June 1, 2015 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

Webcomic:  Disco Slick

Creator:   Dick Smiverson

Format:   Three panels to eightish panels.

Updates:  Every Saturday

Genre:  Comedy, gag-a-week

Themes:  Bars, friends, girlfriends, racism, the Internet, politics, etc.

Characters:  Ben, Remy, Simon and a few others

Archive:  Begins October 11, 2014

Disco Slick is a relatively new webcomic about a group of characters at a bar.  The perspective doesn’t change and the characters are always customers at the bar at the same angle.  I think the bar is called McFeely’s or that’s merely a neon beer sign in the background, it’s hard to tell.

Smiverson’s jokes are hit or miss and he bats about 40% with me.  It’s tough when the visual gags are few and far between, however since the artwork is kept pretty basic, the potential for more output is high.  I think what would help this webcomic would be a cast list and  a more detailed history about the cast and the bar in which they hang.  With only random jokes and few visuals to pull from, it has to be all dialogue driven.  (As a writer, believe me, I know this hurdle!)  More details means more possibilities.  Smiverson should push himself into writing more and expanding the world of Disco Slick.  I think it could be good.  The world is still forming, so I’ll have to check back in.  But if you’re like me and like to get on the ground floor of a new comic, check it out.

Previous Reviews

Tales of Absurdity

Apples & Swords

The Sisters

Basic Instructions

Downhill Rage

Buni

False Knees

Forming

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Spying With Lana

Romantically Apocalyptic

The Black Wall

übertool 

The Oatmeal

The Frumps

Lunarbaboon

Stupid Snake

Fowl Language

Holding Pattern

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May31

Your Fratoscope: May 31, 2015

by tonyd on May 31, 2015 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  Your Dead Kennedys themed birthday is very punk, but upsets your grandma because she remembers being one of their groupies for awhile.

Aries:  Your researching into a unifying theory and time travel causes one of your 2nd cousins to disappear.

Taurus:  The most delicious beef jerky you’ve ever had, turns out to be a mummified rat someone left in a Ziploc bag near your pantry.

Gemini:  Some aliens will abduct you, but refuse to anally probe you until you wash your ass crack better.

Lemini:  You forget to wear your bullet proof vest, which turns out to be for the best, since you get stabbed this week.

Cancer:  Your Dungeons & Dragons characters comes to life and insists you move out of your parents’ basement.

Leo:  Your doctor advises you that your caffeine intake is now so high, drinking coffee actually dilutes it in your blood.

Virgo:  Your recipe for banana bread creates the Pillsbury Doughboy’s evil twin, Malichai.

Libra:  You’ll have a spring in your step all this week until the doctor finally gets around to removing it for you.

Scorpio:  Your STD’s will all be laying low, so get to Ok Cupid pronto!

Sagittarius:  The stars say, the love of your life will be on vacation with the guy she’ll actually marry, so catch up on some work.

Capricorn:  You’ll will eat three bags of marshmallows and then cry yourself to sleep just as you’ve done every week.

Aquarius:  The ghosts of John Lennon and George Harrison will visit you, smoke all your pot and then tell you that Ringo will pay for it.

Pisces:  You’ll finally watch something on Netflix to justify the $80 you blew on it the last 10 months.

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