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Jun15

WTF Did I Just Watch: Game of Thrones, Season 5

by tonyd on June 15, 2015 at 1:45 am

tonystunned

See this stunned expression on my face?  That’s kind of the same expression I had watching the season finale of Game of Thrones tonight.  Needless to say, MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!

All sorts of rumors are swirling and my phone has been ringing off the hook.  Let’s address the issue here:  Who the fuck are we going to follow now that Jon Snow is dead?

Sansa and Theon:  They showed the archer girl hitting the ground hard and dying, why not show Sansa and Theon?  Because they didn’t die.  The Missuses guesses they landed in snow, but the snow had been melting.  I didn’t see a moat and it looked too high to be a convenient cart full of hay.  I guess I’m sticking with snow.  But then again, Game of Thrones often goes for the worst possible outcomes.  So I’m going to suggest that maybe Sansa and Theon did try and commit suicide.  Theon dies, but Sansa’s shattered body somehow stays alive.  Ramsay keeps her alive just to give birth to his son and her imprisonment with badly healing broken bones looks like a cakewalk compared to what happen to Theon in that previous season.  I put the odds at 2 to 1 they survived and 10 to 1 Ramsay’s sick fantasy comes true.

Stannis:  Is Stannis dead?  Or did Brienne merely hit the tree and we’re going to see the rest of the scene where she says something like “I won’t kill you now.”  There’s tons of other characters to choose from, including Gendry, the bastard son of Robert.  Stannis’s story feels over to me.  Everyone’s dead.  But then again, if the fire priestess’s predictions were to become true in an ironic way, perhaps he lives long enough to kill Ramsay and/or take advantage of some other development.  Could Brienne decide that she must fight with Stannis for some reason?  I put Stannis being dead at 1 to 1 odds and Brienne changing sides at 25 to 1.  Ramsay befalling an ironic fate, I put at 4 to 1.

Jon Snow:  According to Entertainment Weekly, Kit Harrington is getting ready to move on and the writers told him he was dead.  But, he hasn’t cut his hair.  As my friend pointed out, this was a key thing for the Jon Snow role.  This, on top of the fact that the fire priestess returned to Castle Black.  Why?  Rumor has it, to resurrect Jon Snow just like the guy from Season 3 with the eye patch.  Maybe it’s something like this, “he won’t be returning…this season”.  My other friend suggested that maybe the fire priestess spirits away Jon Snow’s body in the beginning and he doesn’t return until, say, Season 7.  I like the idea of the character being dead.  It’s bold.  Forces the producers to infuse new life into the show with Bran and his brother returning.  But at the same time, I really wanted to see Jon Snow slay a dragon.  Supposedly there is a legendary hero that the fire priestess is looking for.  She thought it was Stannis.  Maybe it’s Jon Snow coming back to life?  The white walkers are the ice, Jon Snow returns with fire powers and he’s the fire.  So, Jon Snow is dead: 3 to 2 odds, Jon Snow returns via the priestess powers 50 to 1 odds and Jon Snow becoming a badass zombie and killing the Night’s Watch, 200 to 1.

As for the rest: Cersei is going to kill everyone in Kings Landing outside the keep.  I think after that, they’ll be a war against Dorn and eventually we’ll see giant dragons roll in and take it for the Mother of Dragons.  I like the idea of Tyrion running the ancient city so well, that he’s left behind as the governor, but I have a feeling he’ll be in it until the end.  Arya is either going to become a super-ninja blind assassin or her blindness is only temporary.  I don’t know, with this show.  But that face ripping scene was the shit.  It’s pretty amazing when one of the lead actresses walking naked through the streets was one of the least shocking scenes in the whole finale!

I have to admit, I was wavering on the show this season.  By episode 6 and 7, I felt the show had become to much like a regular TV show.  These last three episodes really brought me back!  I did not see most of these events coming. (And neither did Arya!  Ha!)  How long to next season?  Is it time yet?  Is it time?!

└ Tags: A Game of Thrones, Arya, Bran, Brienne, Cersei, Game of Thrones, Jon Snow, Kit Harrington, Mother of Dragons, Ramsay, Sansa, spoilers, Stannis, Super Frat, Theon, theories, Tony DiGerolamo, Tyrion, WTF Did I Just Watch
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Jun14

Your Fratoscope: June 14, 2015

by tonyd on June 14, 2015 at 2:37 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  The villagers chase you with pitchforks and torches again, but this week they bring cake.

Aries:  You catch your iPhone, iPad and iWatch colluding with your iMac to take over your apartment.

Taurus:  Kanye West takes your parking space and offers to sing one of his songs to make up for you.  You’ll decline.

Gemini:  You will get drunk enough to eat all your roommates postage stamps.

Lemini:  Your Call of Duty avatar’s PTSD causes him to just sit on the couch and huff paint whenever you play a game.

Cancer:  After you hit a deer with your car, a second deer with 5 o’clock shadow and a cigarette  in his mouth will hand you an envelope full of money.

Leo:  The fridge gremlins will visit you tonight and loosen all your condiment lids so they have a 1/4″ of water on top of your mustards and ketchups.

Virgo:  The stars say, you’ll hurt your wrist swiping on Tinder you judgmental a-hole.

Libra:  You’ll eat some stinky cheese, which you’ll later find out was actually hardened mayo.

Scorpio:  You’ll flash the pope.

Sagittarius:  You’ll be asked by your mugger to fill out a comment card.

Capricorn:  This week, take some time to reconnect with family.  The basement they’re locked in is probably out of food by now.

Aquarius:  You’ll drink a surprising amount of hand sanitizer this week.

Pisces:  You’ll walk around Lowe’s for 40 minutes looking around and forget what you came into buy.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
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Jun13

Ten Reasons Why I Love Wawa

by tonyd on June 13, 2015 at 1:09 am

sf-tony-avatar

Wawa is a local mini-mart chain that’s mostly here in the East.    Those of you in the other parts of the country and world, probably don’t know what I’m talking about, but still…  I have to say it’s awesome for these reasons.

1.  No seats.  No one is going to hang around taking up space when I need a hoagie.

2.  They sell Tasty Kakes, which are the perfect dessert after a hoagie.  (And no, it’s not a sub or grinder.)

3.  They now sell gas, which is convenient, because I can get a sandwich while I fill up.

4.  I must mention the legendary coffee, even though I don’t personally drink it.  I hear good things.

5.  They are often open 24 hours, which means I can get my gas and sandwich at 3 am when I need it.

6.  They have chicken soup, which is really good and useful when you’re sick and don’t feel like cooking.

7.  They have an ATM, which used to be free to customers, sadly they are not now.  I am holding out hope they cut the deal again.

8.  They have breakfast sandwiches, which are really good if you’re hurrying and trying to get to a comic book convention in the morning.

9.  Philly Soft Pretzels.

10.  Hoagie Fest!  The hoagies are awesome.  I mean, look they’re not the best.  Certainly you could find a deli with better stuff, but Wawa’s are above average and they are incredibly fast.  Plus, you can get pickles on the side.

└ Tags: comedy, funny, gas, hoagie fest, hoagies, humor, lists, Philly soft pretzels, Tasty Kakes, Ten Reasons Why, Tony DiGerolamo, top ten, Wawa
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Jun12

Rewritten Headlines: Real Dolls to Shark

by tonyd on June 12, 2015 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Unnecessary Robot Extra to be Available

Wild Animals Party Like Wild Animals

Insanely Rich Girl Still Finds Something to Whine About

People Still Buying Shit

Puppet More Feminist Than Actual Woman

Website Continues to Morph Into Friendster

Obama Convinced He Still Not Enough Like Bush

The American Dream is Dead

Texas Cops Make Little Girls Cry

World’s Deadliest Predator a Terrible Driver

└ Tags: Bush, buying shit, comedy, current events, feminists, Friendster, funny, headlines, humor, ISIS, Lemonade Stand, Miss Piggy, monkeys, News, Obama, parody, Real Doll, Reddit, Rewritten Headlines, rich girl, robo, sex doll, Sharks, Super Frat, Texas Cops, The American Dream, Tony DiGerolamo, wild animal, Willis
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