May29

Rewritten Headlines: Bartender to Pet Detective

by tonyd on May 29, 2015 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Awesome Bartender Parties Hard

Lazy Firefighters Make Children do Their Job

Crazy Guy Had Plenty of Crazy Evidence

Bald Guy to Make Mockery of Elections Again

People Still Going to Malls Apparently

World Gets Funnier Again

Robot Overlords Are Coming

Really Cold Case File Discovered

Zombies Lose Lunch

Dude Really Likes Breakfast

Ace Venture Still in Business

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May27

Twitter in Focus: Judy Tenuta

by tonyd on May 27, 2015 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is the Goddess herself, Judy Tenuta!  She’s funny on stage, let’s see what she’s tweeting.

@JudyTenuta

May 7th:  “For Mother’s Day, instead of flowers, Bruce Jenner’s kids are giving him a “trans-plant”!! ”

Wow.  She’s still got it!

May 8th:  “World Accordion to Judy – Episode 16 Pinko De Mayo via ”

She’s still rockin’ the accordion.  Nice.

May 9th:  “HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL MOM’S ESPECIALLY MY GREAT MOM, JOANN! LOVE YOU FOREVER, MOM! ”

Aw, that’s nice.  For Mother’s Day, I let my mother cook me dinner.  She was so happy!  Not happy enough to make desert, but still…

May 12th:  “Gisele is not worried, she knows hubby Tom Brady would never deflate her “WonderBra”! ”

Don’t make fun of boobs, Judy.  That’s going to outrage the bros.  It’s the only thing they’re outraged by.

May 13th:  “Party in your Pants with Judy Tenuta @ Comedy Shrine, Aurora, Il, Fri & Sat., May15 & 16! ”

Still touring.  Judy needs a show.  IFC or better, I say.

May 15th:  “Check out my new video World Accordion to Judy – Episode 17 – Chiller Theatre ”

Oh, yeah, Chiller.  That’s a fun show.  The only thing weirder is Dragon Con.

May 20th:  “New Bachelorette Britt wet-mouth moppin every bachelor in sight! She’s a mattress on “layaway”! ”

Well, she does want to land a man.  Can’t hurt.

May 21st:  “Thank you Dave, for over 30 years of great comedy! Loved the final top 10 list with Jim Carrey! ”

Yes, it was nice of him to leave his Uni-bomber-style bunker to do some comedy.

May 22nd:  “We are the “Land of the Free” because of the Brave who served. A Safe Memorial Day to all! ”

Yes, we need to remember all those who grill the food.  They make such sacrifice in the heat!

May 24th:  “Episode 18 Bachelorette via ”

Wow, she is just cranking out those shows.  C’mon, this is at least as good as anything on TBS that isn’t a rerun.

Okay, let’s rate Judy’s tweets.  She is cranking out the material here.  I give her an 8 for Mustness, a 10 for Style and a 10 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 9.3.  Follow Judy, pigs!

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

 

 

 

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May25

Webcomic Review: Tales of Absurdity

by tonyd on May 25, 2015 at 1:10 am

SF Tony Avatar

Webcomic:  Tales of Absurdity

Creator:   Alexander Hoffman

Format:   Mostly three panel strips

Updates:  Weekly-ish

Genre:  Comedy, Satire, Puns, Absurdity

Themes:  Work, animals, movies, etc.

Characters:  Random people and animals, according to the gag

Archive:  September 1, 2013

ToA is a gag-a-week comic strip that’s meant to be absurd and it is.  Hoffman’s gags range from bad puns to something close to a Perry Bible Fellowship visual.  His artwork is spot on, energetic and probably adds a good 20% to the gags when they fall flat.  I liked most of them.  Some made me really laugh.  A few I just sorta went “Wha-?” and clicked away.

The schedule is almost weekly.  Sometimes it’s eight days in between or five.  I like to see the strip go at least twice per week, as I think the later strips are getting better.  The archive is a decent size, but you can get caught up in an hour or so.  This is one to invest in, as I think it’s pretty decent, but has some room to grow, so bookmark it, bros.  Why not?  It’s free!

Previous Reviews

Apples & Swords

The Sisters

Basic Instructions

Downhill Rage

Buni

False Knees

Forming

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Spying With Lana

Romantically Apocalyptic

The Black Wall

übertool 

The Oatmeal

The Frumps

Lunarbaboon

Stupid Snake

Fowl Language

Holding Pattern

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May24

Your Memorial Day Fratoscope

by tonyd on May 24, 2015 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  Your present will be ignited by an errant birthday cake candle, detonating the many fireworks your uncle smuggled over state lines for you.  Make sure you take cover.

Aries:  The stars say, stay away from the potato salad, it’s delicious, but you’re gassy.

Taurus:  You will enjoy a freshly grilled hotdog after your 12th beer at the bottom of the deep end of a pool.

Gemini:  A lifeguard will pull you out of the water and give you mouth to mouth, not because you’re drowning, but because he’s lonely.

Lemini:  You’ll get really high and try marching in a parade, only to realize it’s just traffic.

Cancer:  You’ll thank the troops by never joining the military.

Leo:  You’ll learn the hard way that it does get hot enough inside the front seat of your car to ignite a bag of fireworks.

Virgo:  Your “You Road Kill It, I Grill It Barbecue” is lightly attended this year.

Libra:  Your Memorial Day volleyball game ends in a town wide riot, just like last year.

Scorpio:  Your “Thank You H.J.’s” for the troops are popular, even with non-troops.

Sagittarius:  Despite your marksman skill, shooting mosquitos during the family barbecue is rife with controversy.

Capricorn:  Kevin Costner will bring you a cheeseburger and some pasta salad during a family picnic, then disappear mysteriously into a cornfield.

Aquarius:  You’ll be the first person to get sun poisoning in the summer of 2015.

Pisces:  You’ll announce that you’re trying to set the record for eating the most deviled eggs, not because you can do it, but because it gives you a good excuse to eat like a pig.

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