Apr24

Rewritten Headlines: Drones to Morning Commute

by tonyd on April 24, 2015 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Guy Finally Figures Out Drones Kill People

Dexter Lives

Slap on the Wrist for Non-Snowden General

People Love Cars

America Kinda Shitty

Nerds Rejoice

Evil Twin Loses Battle

Nice

Old People Ruin Everything

Morning Commute Ruff

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Apr22

Twitter in Focus: Mike Henry

by tonyd on April 22, 2015 at 12:01 am

Hey bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is the voice of Cleveland, Mike Henry.  He’s funny on Family Guy, let’s see what he’s tweeting!

@bigpreesch

January 5th:  “Hilurrious// ”

Shh!  No one compare him to Lamont from Sanford and Son if he loses weight!

January 9th:  “So it looks like Pau Gasol isn’t on the Lakers anymore. And apparently Michael Jordan has retired. ?”

Wow, these are old tweets.

January 9th:  “Sexiest man alive ”

Ahh!  My eyes!  Can’t unsee that.

January 18th:  “Let’s hope the Seahawks win on a terrible call. ”

Would Vegas take that bet?

February 2nd:  “Lions out on bad call. Cowboys out on bad call. Packers blow it. Seahawks blow it. Brady handed MVP trophy. Papa John wins. ”

The important thing is, pizza won.

February 2nd:  “No matter how many times the NFL punches me in an elevator I will always come back. See you in September, you horrible, beautiful monster.”

Beautiful and sad.  I’m reading all these tweets in Cleveland’s voice btw.

February 2nd:  “Whew! I was very worried. Although she seems to have forgotten to wear pants… Imma pray for her. ”

Do famous people even need to wear pants?

March 14th:  “Let’s just say we’re having a good Saturday in Southern California. ”

Jeez, I figured with all that Family Guy money, you’d at least be able to afford fake friends with nipples.

March 24th:  “Hey Ted Cruz, God created you as a joke.”

Cruz is this election’s Rick Perry or Rick Santorum, I haven’t decided which.

April 2nd:  “Spent last night soaked in the music of David Lynch at the Ace Theater. An amazing artist and a great guy. ”

Were they songs about Twin Peaks and Erasurehead?

April 5th:  “Happy Easter!! ”

Ha!  I didn’t realize he did her voice too!  Awesome.

April 8th:  “It’s nice when someone doesn’t pick up after their dog and your daughter steps in it on the way to school. JK! It’s not nice. ”

Hey!  Don’t blame my dog for something I did, okay?!

April 17th:  “Proud to bring Sudan Lost Boy John Dau to speak at . His story is incredible. ”

Well, that’s nice.

Okay, let’s rate Mike’s tweets.  I give him a 6 for Mustness, a 9 for Insanity and a 9 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 8.  Follow Cleveland (a most underrated spinoff, I say).

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

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Apr20

Webcomic Review: Downhill Rage

by tonyd on April 20, 2015 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

Webcomic:  Downhill Rage

Creator:   one Irish Fucker

Format:   Comic pages and strips

Updates:  Unknown, possibly 2 to 3 times a week

Genre:  Comedy, weird, awkwardness

Themes:  Being Irish, play on words, irony, anger

Characters:  Sloth, various humans

Archive:  Begins March 2015

Downhill Rage is gag-a-day style strip full of weirdness, anger and awkward puns.  It only has about two dozen installments, so now is the time to get in the ground floor.  I mean, some webcomic sites have such a huge library, it’s almost a chore to go through all the strips.  But here, if you like it, you can breeze through and add this to your bookmarks.

IF’s artwork and writing are still a little raw, but he’s got good energy.  And while not all the strips seem to hit the mark, most of them were funny or just weird.  (If you can’t be funny, at least be weird.)  I don’t normally like the tumblr webcomics, but this creator has a nice layout.  He just needs to expand upon the “About” section, maybe add some character bios and definitely add something about himself.

Beyond that, I liked Downhill Rage.  I think there’s a good chance this will continue to develop.  I like young creators with and edge.  Hopefully, IF will take it somewhere.

Previous Reviews

Buni

False Knees

Forming

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Spying With Lana

Romantically Apocalyptic

The Black Wall

übertool 

The Oatmeal

The Frumps

Lunarbaboon

Stupid Snake

Fowl Language

Holding Pattern

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Apr19

Your Fratoscope: April 19, 2015

by tonyd on April 19, 2015 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  The stars say, happy birthday, but stars have no money so they didn’t get you anything.

Aries:  You will wake up in a delicious marinade.

Taurus:  You will switch to summer clothes too soon, but be too lazy to get your jackets out again after it gets cold again.

Gemini:  You will buy a sandwich that smells suspiciously like wet dog.

Lemini:   You’ll realize the roast you attended wasn’t a roast, people just like to insult you.

Cancer:  This week, brace yourself for excitement.  Your brakes will finally stop working.

Leo:  You learn that you are liable if you say, “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!” and your insurance adjuster appears in the street and is hit by car.

Virgo:  The zombie apocalypse doesn’t happen this weekend, so that excuse you had for not paying your taxes doesn’t work.

Libra:  You will find an inordinate amount of Tic Tacs in your underwear which leave your genitals minty-fresh.

Scorpio:  You will bang a Libra with a really fresh smelling crotch.

Sagittarius:  You will befriend a stranded motorist and give him  a ride to the bus, although it turns out he wasn’t stranded.  He just strangled the guy that was the stranded motorist.

Capricorn:  A deer turns the table on you and your hunting buddies and you’re forced to change your name and move to another state.

Aquarius:  When the second skid of beer arrives to the intervention, your roommate finally admits he has a problem.

Pisces:  This week, you’ll visit North Jersey and its very interesting smells.

 

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