If your birthday is this week: It’s too hot for your birthday because your A/C is busted.
Aries: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Taurus: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Gemini: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Lemini: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Cancer: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Leo: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Virgo: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Libra: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Scorpio: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Sagittarius: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Capricorn: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Aquarius: It’s too hot for your horoscope because your A/C is busted.
Pisces: Don’t open your curtains or answer the door because the Aries, Taurus, Geminis, Leminis, Cancers, Leos, Virgos, Libras, Scorpios, Sagittariuses, Capricorns and Aquariuses will be looking to get all up in your shit because your A/C is working just fine. They’ll get tired of knocking and go away soon, just be quiet and stay away from the God damned windows!
