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Jan04

New Brother Websites

by tonyd on January 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Hey Bros!

Lots of new brother websites added, especially today:

Dreamstruck is about a guy trapped in a dream where he’s a baby. Full of weirdness, by Bill.

Cautionary Tales is a black and yellow webcomic kind of like The System.  By a different Bill.

Tripp is Bill’s other webcomic.  (The second Bill, not the first).  It’s about an LSD trip that never ends.

Check ’em out.  As a favorite bro of mine once said, “Don’t cost nuthin’.”

└ Tags: bill, brother, Cautionary Tales, Dreamstruck, Links, new, Super Frat, The System, Tony DiGerolamo, Tripp, webcomics, websites
Comments Off on New Brother Websites
Jan04

Twitter in Focus: T.J. Miller

by tonyd on January 4, 2012 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s Twitterer is comedian T.J. Miller, better know as “Hud” from the Cloverfield movie and recently appeared in one of my favorite TV shows, The League, as a religious dude.  He’s funny and you should probably pay attention to him.  Let’s see what he’s tweeting about.

@nottjmiller

December 28th:  “Every time u want to tell someone to “grow up, get a job & start building a lego version of yourself,” maybe u should #thinkaboutjoanlife.”

I had to disassemble the lego version of myself.  He’d only pay his share of the rent in lego money.

December 28th:  “Alright now back to firebombing a fire. I mean, it can’t hurt right? See you guys in 2012………………………………………….”

Not a lot of comedians work with fire.  You have to give him that.

December 29th:  “Really hoping they make #road2nardo @ Universal, I’m keeping other people’s fingers crossed. Can’t cross mine, I have basket weaving to do!”

For a second, I thought you meant a sequel to the Road.  I don’t think I could sit through the Road 2 without cutting myself.

December 29th:  “Denver, no matter what, I appreciate you. Sometimes you really get it, and other times you’re still fucking awesome. http://www.heyreverb.com/2011/12/29/best-of-2011-stand-up-shows-comedy-albums-and-video-games/”

Nicely done.

December 31st:  “I swear, Cheryl won’t let me say it but: “French television is such poor video quality Green Lantern looks like Green Hornet!” (sips cafe)”

Well, at least it doesn’t look as bad as The Spirit.

December 31st:  “I just fist fought a gas station attendant bc he insinuated “full service” didn’t included me giving him a blowjob. Fucking Ohio asshole.”

Look, we all know that “full service” includes penetration, T.J.  Up your game.

December 31st:  “(trains gun on intruder)
How did the two sharks know they could trust each other?
(Intruder shakes head “don’t know”)
Because they had a real close Finsship…
(two shots are heard from a distance)”

I gotta say, that’s the first tweet that felt like an entire little short film.

12 hours ago:  “Hello! My email is tjmilleretc@yahoo.com if ever you come to the states. I love Jose!”

No idea why he tweeted this.

11 hours ago:  “Kansas city here I come!”

Oh, dear Lord.  He’s obviously never been to Kansas.  Don’t wear your best shoes.

11 hours ago:  “I can’t imagine not having an imagination, and that’s the first step to recovery.”

Could God imagine something that not even he could imagine?

11 hours ago:  “Isolation is much easier than having relationships but less rewarding.”

And you tend to spend more money on fleshlights.

11 hours ago:  “”British people have a great sense of humor.” -everyone who doesn’t have a good sense of humor. (sense of humor is not racial)”

Don’t pick on the Brits.  They’re some of our finest American actors.

11 hours ago:  “I can’t figure out if this guy is gay or not. His dick tasted straight. What did it taste like? Homophobia.”

Boom!  There’s the jokes!  But I wouldn’t open with it.

11 hours ago:  “You know how to whistle don’t you? Just put you lips together and say “I’ll pay someone to whistle right now.””

Thought you were going for a blowjob joke there, but you took the high ground.  Fuck.

Okay, let’s rate T.J.’s tweets.  He is definitely putting some work into his tweets, which I like.  Could use some more behind the scenes stuff, but hey, he’s funny so why complain?  BTW, he has a cool website.  I give TJ a 7 for Style, a 9 for Mustness and a 9 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 8.3.  Totally worth following.  And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: comedian, comedy, Conan O'Brien, funny, humor, Stainer, stand up, Super Frat, SuperFrat, T.J. Miller, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, video
1 Comment
Jan02

Ask Señor Cactus!

by tonyd on January 2, 2012 at 12:01 am


translated by Mr. Shit
transcribed by Tony DiGerolamo

And now it’s time for that prickly purveyor of wisdom…
The king of the Caryophyllales-Cactaceae…
Ladies and gentlemon’, the great Señor Cactus!

Flat Chested in Florida,

Dear Señor Cactus,

My boyfriend of two years is great except that he always complains about my small breasts.  When I confront him about it, he says he doesn’t want me to get a boob job, it’s just that I “look” like I should have bigger boobs.  Is he sending me a message?

Sincerely,

Cindi I., U of M

Dear Tiny Tits

Cactus say, are you deaf?  Of course he wants you ta get a boob job!  The nuanced message yer boyfriend say is, “Can you pay for it?”  Consider it an investment.  After you’re big up top, it will be like your boyfriend is dating a completely different woman!  And at least this way when you break up, you won’t blame it on your boobs!

Dressed for Something

Señor Cactus:

Dude, I am watching New Year’s and Kathy Griffin is getting naked.  I think I should get naked too, but I’m in even worse shape.  Can you tell me what to do?

Signed,
I’m Really High Right Now

Dear Mr. Now

Cactus say, you must be really high to be able to stand watching Kathy Griffin naked.  So yeah, get as naked as ya want, mon!  You won’t care!

Angry in Anderson

Hey Señor Cactus,

Santa didn’t give me shit this year!  I was good!  I stopped myself from punching the fuck out of my asshole roommate or people in general.  Why the fuck didn’t I get anything?  HUH?!

Kyle, 18, Anderson, NC

Dear Angry Southerner

Cactus say, he apologizes.  Mistah and he leave Santa a bong out for Christmas.  Not only did he eat all our fucking cookies, he’s been living on da couch ever since!  Our bad!

Dan Does His Friend

Mr. Cactus,

A good friend of mine and me had sex the other night.  Now things are really awkward between us.  I think the friendship is over, but the sex was so amazing!  Any advice?

Dan, 21, Rutgers Camden

Dear Friend Fucker

Cactus say, da answer is simple.  You gotta man up, apologize and repair dat friendship.  It’s the only way she gonna trust you enough so you can have sex again!

And if you have a question for Señor Cactus email us here!

└ Tags: advice, Ask Señor Cactus, bong, Boobs!, boyfriend, column, dating, friend, girlfriend, letters, Mistah Shit, relationships, romance, Santa, Señor Cactus, sex, Super Frat, tiny tits, Tony DiGerolamo
1 Comment
Jan01

Your New Year’s Day Fratoscope 2012

by tonyd on January 1, 2012 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  You New Year’s Eve Party will be a huge success to anyone who enjoys spending New Year’s with stuffed animals and cats.

Aries:  You will make several New Year’s Eve resolutions, most of which you’ll break about half way through the countdown.

Taurus:  This week, Santa Claus will come running into your house demanding to know if you opened a gift he meant to leave for Kim Jong Un.

Gemini:  The stars say your Dilbert calendar will run out and you’ll have no replacement.  Your welcome.

Lemini:  You will discover that you are the Spawn of Satan, destined to destroy the world.  Unfortunately, like all kids of famous dads, you just end up in rehab.

Cancer:  You new landscaper, Glenn Beck, will do a horrible job on your azaleas.

Leo: You might want to find another broker, he keeps advising you that he’s “bullish on lapdances“.

Virgo:  This week, Rick Santorum will give a speech on your porch to your cat.  He’ll call it the biggest turnout ever.

Libra:  After a six hour video game binge, Xbox will flash the words, “Maybe we should see other people for a while.  Seriously, let’s take a break.”

Scorpio: You will recognize the penis being shoved through the glory hole of your bathroom stall.  Maybe next time, don’t spend New Year’s with your old college professors.

Sagittarius:  You will discover that your champagne wishes and caviar dreams are actually made up of Sprite and white albacore.

Capricorn:   You will discover that you’re not being haunted by Dick Clark’s ghost, he’s just trapped in your closet.

Aquarius:   Even your friends at your Jedi-themed New Year’s party will think it’s too nerdy.

Pisces:  You’ll discover that eating two gallons of ice cream at New Year’s doesn’t stop your heart, but it will make you projectile vomit for the next four hours.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, funny, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, parody, Pisces, predictions, Sagittairus, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
1 Comment
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