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We Hate Your Girlfriend
The Cycle of College
Love or Ice Cream?
Not That Much of a Bro
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Say It With Pants
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Determined Depression
College Brain Surgery
A Dick in Time
Apr02

Level Up: Red Dead Redemption

by tonyd on April 2, 2012 at 12:01 am

I know this review way after the fact, but fuck it.  I have to give credit where credit is due, bros.  Red Dead Redemption is one of the best video games I’ve ever played.  Just picked it up with my Game Stop gift certificate for my birthday and it was worth every electronic cent.

First, there’s the graphics.  Breathtaking landscapes and sunrises, cacti and animals running about.  The game also has a hint of sepia tone to give it a Wild West look.

Second, the navigation.  Rockstar Games is always good with this.  9 times out of 10, you have complete control of the character.  Once in a while, my hand slipped and I’d accidentally rob or hijack someone’s horse, but that was easily remedied.  Either I’d run away (just like in Grand Theft Auto) until the locals stopped chasing me or I’d just reload my previous save point.  Getting around the rather large map is easy.  Hopping a stage coach allows you to skip the trip and get to the point, another great feature with most Rockstar Games.

Third, and probably most important, the story.  I’ve seen plenty of movies that don’t have half the story this game has.  John Marsten is an ex-outlaw.   Forced to resume his “bad” life as a bounty hunter, he has to hunt down his old gang.  I can’t tell you what happens in the last act, but let me tell you, it was spectacular.  Just when you think the game is going to end, boom!  One more scene.  By the end of this game, I really wanted my revenge on one of the characters.

And if that all wasn’t enough, the End of the Year Edition comes with one of the most talked about add-ons, the zombie version.   So after you’re done with the serious story, you can get to blowing away undead guys.  I can’t remember a game that offered so much for its money.  And now, the game is in stores used for half the price.  If you haven’t played this game bros, get it now.  I give it 10 kegs out of 10.

└ Tags: Gamer, John Marsten, Level Up, rating, Red Dead Redemption, review, Rockstar Games, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, video games, Western
1 Comment
Apr01

Your Fratoscope: April Fool’s Day

by tonyd on April 1, 2012 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:   You drone hits the wrong target.  April Fool!  That orphanage was full of terrorists too.

Aries:  You will look great in that bikini this summer.  April Fool!

Taurus:  When the Zombie Apocalypse comes, you won’t be the third person bitten.  April Fool!  You’ll be the second!

Gemini:  You will post an opinion on the Internet that people won’t think is trite and uninteresting.  April Fool!  You don’t have opinions.

Lemini:  The stars say, you’ll have an awesome day where you continue to go on living.  April Fool!

Cancer:  This week, you’ll have consensual sex with a gorilla.  April Fool!  It’ll be a rhino.

Leo:  You will be calling your insurance company after a flood washes away your house.  April Fool!  You can’t call anyone when you’re trapped on a roof in the ocean.

Virgo:  You will finally talk to that girl you like.  April Fool!  You’ll be too afraid to saying anything since you’re hiding in her closet.

Libra:  You will discover a snake living in your bed.  April Fool!  You’re homeless.  You don’t have a bed!

Scorpio:   You recycle bin will be full of old dildos this week.  April Fool!  Your dildos aren’t recyclable.

Sagittarius:  Your pizza will be 5 minutes late and therefore, free!  April Fool!  An angry pizza delivery guy will bitch slap you until you give him a $50 tip.

Capricorn:  Your roommate will steal that six pack you put in the fridge.  April Fool!  He’s can’t do that.  He’s across campus boning you girlfriend.

Aquarius:  You’ll get fired from your job.  April Fool!  You got fired a year ago and you can’t get fired from unemployment for another year!

Pisces:  Your sushi will not be fresh for lunch this week.  April Fool!  It totally will!

└ Tags: April Fool's Day, Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, funny, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, parody, Pisces, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
1 Comment
Mar31

Ten Breakfast Sandwiches You’ll Never See

by tonyd on March 31, 2012 at 12:01 am

Let’s face it, the bar for breakfast sandwiches is low.  You’re in a rush to work, it’s early, you’re not quite awake yet and you have to grab something to put in your stomach.  The choices are usually sugary or greasy and hope you don’t carb crash before lunch.  But here now are ten breakfast treats you’ll never see anywhere.

1.  Lard and Chocolate on a Poppyseed Bagel

2. Broiled Squirrel Tender Sandwich

3.  BLO  (Bacon, Lettuce and Opium)

4.  Deer Scabs on Wheat Toast

5.  Sugar,  Mustard and Sand on a Sesame Seed Bun

6.  Chiggers and Beef on Sour Dough

7.  Pink Slime on a Croissant

8. Anything made with this.

9.  Deep Fried Mutton Chops on Rye

10.  Chum on an English Muffin

└ Tags: breakfast sandwiches, Super Frat, Ten Breakfast Sandwiches You'll Never See, Ten Things You'll Never See, Tony DiGerolamo
2 Comments
Mar30

Rewritten Headlines: Cinnamon Challenge to Anchorman 2

by tonyd on March 30, 2012 at 12:01 am

We’re back with another Rewritten News cast!  Less tact, more news!

Real: Teens “Cinnamon Challenge” Dangerous: Not Innocent

Rewritten: Least Dangerous Thing Teens Do Moved to Top of List for Week

Real: Megan Fox Knows She’s Goregeous

Rewritten:  Attractive Woman Owns Mirror

Real:  $7 Billion Public-Private Plan in Chicago Aims to Fix Transit, Schools and Parks

Rewritten:  Chicago Mafia to Get Huge Bailout

Real:  Google’s Self-Driving Car Takes Blind Man to Taco Bell

Rewritten:  Self-Driving Car Hates Handicapped Man

Real:  Game of Thrones Returns on a Truly Epic Scale

Rewritten:  Geeks Renew HBO Subscriptions

Real:  Record Mega Millions Jackpot Sets Off Ticket Buying Frenzy

Rewritten:  99% Desperately Want to Join 1%

Real:  Apple Supplier in China Pledges Big Labor Changes

Rewritten:  Chinese Labor Camp to Tighten Security

Real:   Chinese Firm Surpasses Exxon as No. 1 in Oil Production

Rewritten:  Americans Losing World While Watching American Idol

Real:  Billions of Potentially Habitable Planets Discovered in the Milky Way

Rewritten:  Cantina Scene in Star Wars Closer to Reality

Real:  Two Studies Point to Common Pesticides as Culprit in Declining Bee Colonies

Rewritten:  World’s Ecosystem Severely Damaged Because of Your Fucking Lawn

Real: Stay Class Anchorman Fans, Part 2 is Coming

Rewritten: Actor Who Plays Same Guy in Every Movie, Decides on Same Title

└ Tags: Anchorman, apple, bees, billions, Blind man, car, Chicago, China, Chinese, Cinnamon Challenge, Exxon, Game of Thrones, geeks, Google, Mafia, Mega Fox, Mega Millions Jackpot, oil, parks, pesticides, planets, private-public, Rewritten Headlines, Self-driving, space, studies, Super Frat, Taco Bell, teens, Tony DiGerolamo, Will Farrell
1 Comment
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