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We Hate Your Girlfriend
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Not That Much of a Bro
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Say It With Pants
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A Dick in Time
Jun03

Ten Things I’d Like to See on National Doughnut Day

by tonyd on June 3, 2017 at 1:42 am

  1.  All crime is legal inside any Krispy Kreme.
  2.  All-doughnut theme parade with float-sized doughnuts.
  3.  Like Fat Tuesday, only if you see tits you gotta give the girls doughnuts.
  4.  Doughnut horseshoe game, but played with Boston creams.
  5.  If you get pulled over for speeding, you automatically go free if you give the cop a glazed doughnut.
  6.  Any fast food joint with a deep fryer must make you donut holes for free with any meal.
  7.  Santa returns and hands out jelly doughnuts to anyone that was good.
  8.  Dunkin’ Donuts will throw one doughnut at you and if you catch it in your mouth, it’s free.
  9.  All workers have the option to be paid in doughnuts just for that day.
  10.  National Referendum deciding whether to spell doughnut or donut.
└ Tags: comedy, donut, doughnuts, Dunkin Donuts, funny, humor, Krispy Kreme, list, National Donut Day, Super Frat, Ten Things I'd Like to See, Tony DiGerolamo
Comments Off on Ten Things I’d Like to See on National Doughnut Day
Jun02

Rewritten Headlines: McBait to Sex Town

by tonyd on June 2, 2017 at 12:01 am

Fishermen Make Fish Unhealthy

Pizza Major Starts Career Right

Mascot Costume Really Hot

Company to Raise Prices

Sore Loser Still Sore

Homer Goes Hi Tech

Worst Version of Ocean’s 11 Ever

Slowest News Day Ever

Guy Who Makes Awesome Water, Bummed Out

Town Getting Down

 

└ Tags: Blue Apron, comedy, Donuts, fish, Fishermen, Fuji, funny, Homer, humor, Mascot, McBait, McNugget, Ocean's 11, Rewritten Headlines, Sex Town, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, Trump, water tower
Comments Off on Rewritten Headlines: McBait to Sex Town
May31

Twitter in Focus: Stephen Merchant

by tonyd on May 31, 2017 at 12:36 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is Stephen Merchant, voice of Terry in Dream Corp and Conrad in that episode of the Simpsons.  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@StephenMerchant

May 5th:  “It needs to be reworked by pop icons? How’s these apples? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK3mzxMhXyU&sns=tw …”

Too soft for me.  Needs more of an edge for a spy movie.

May 5th: “Yes, any half-developed ape with opposable thumbs knows I’m right”

As a half-developed ape, I am forced to agree.

May 5th:  “‘And why is gadget nerd even on this call? Get back to the basement'”

C’mon, Q was very key in the Roger Moore days.  He’s was mostly gadgets at the end.

May 6th:  “Visiting #DreamCorpLLC, currently shooting Season 2. danielstessen @kahleabaldwin #adultswim https://www.instagram.com/p/BTwza07F-Hp/ ”

Cool show.  Looking forward to the new season.  Very much stoner material.

May 8th:  “I listen to the most scientificcy edition of @BBCInOurTime I can find. Brainiacs chatting lulls me to sleep.

We don’t have that in America, but most TV here will lull you to sleep.

May 8th:  “I’d like to point out I’m an avid listener and have now heard most episodes 2 or 3 times”

Yeah, I’m like that with TV when I’m writing this.  Listening to it, but not watching it.

May 16th:  “Cheers for all the support and kind words about Caliban. Watch #Logan Noir, included w/… https://www.instagram.com/p/BUKrAtOll2F/ ”

That’s you?!  Had no idea until now.  Gotta see that movie.

May 22nd:  “Wow. Twin Peaks revival utterly magnificent. In age of great TV, @DAVID_LYNCH proves he was, and still is, light years beyond everyone else.”

Aw, man.  So much to watch.  I’ll have to find that on my on-demand thingee.

May 29th: “TV highlight of the week. Spoiler alert? (Don’t know what it spoils exactly) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AeANz2ndM8&sns=tw … via”

Looks kinda slow, but Twin Peaks always had weird pacing.  Still gonna watch tho.

Okay, let’s rate Stephen’s tweets.  Lots of responses to fans I couldn’t post here.  I give him a 9 for Mustness, a 9 for Insanity and a 10 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 9.3.  Very high.  Follow Stephen.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

└ Tags: BBC, comedian, comedy, Conrad, Dream CORP, funny, humor, rating, review, Stephen Merchant, Super Frat, Terry, The Simspons, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twin Peaks, Twitter, voice
Comments Off on Twitter in Focus: Stephen Merchant
May29

Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Guacamole

by tonyd on May 29, 2017 at 12:23 am

Ingredients:  6 Avocados, garlic powder, white vinegar, cilantro, onion, tomato, lime, tequila, salt, one girlfriend, one bag of nachos.

Step 1:  Get into a fight with your girlfriend.

Step 2:  Drink half a bottle of tequila.

Step 3:  Start eating nachos to get something in your stomach.

Step 4:  Decide that nachos need guacamole.

Step 5:  Get out garlic powder, white vinegar, an onion, tomato and the rest of your lime and salt.

Step 6:  Dice onion and tomato.

Step 7:  Mix ingredients.

Step 8:  Realize you have no avocados.

Step 9:  Place tequila bottle in paper bag.

Step 10:  Take bus to supermarket while sipping tequila.

Step 11:  Stagger into supermarket and buy avocados.

Step 12:  Finish bottle of tequila.  Pass out waiting for bus.

Step 13:  Wake up after buses stop running.

Step 14:  Walk back to campus, realize the avocados are at bus stop.

└ Tags: 6 Avocados, cilantro, comedy, funny, garlic powder, Guacamole, humor, Ira's Drunken Recipes, lime, one bag of nachos, one girlfriend, onion, salt, Super Frat, Tequila, tomato, Tony DiGerolamo, white vinegar
Comments Off on Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Guacamole
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