Ingredients:  Leftover cooked steak, Romaine lettuce, red onion, celery, pepper, blue cheese dressing, bong, half a swag of blue kush, 3 rum and cokes, 8 beers.

Step 1:  Break with girlfriend for umpteenth time after getting high before meeting her parents.

Step 2:  Go to nearest bar, drink three rum and cokes.

Step 3:  Realize these drinks are too expensive, switch to beer.

Step 4:  Drink eight beers, call Uber.

Step 5:  Take Uber home, realize you’re starving.

Step 6:  Go through parents’ fridge, find leftover steak.

Step 7:  Cut up steak, salad, red onion and celery, place in bowl.

Step 8:  Cover with pepper and blue cheese dressing.

Step 9:  Eat on leather couch and pass out.

Step 10:  Wake up next morning and realize bowl you used was colander.

Step 11:  Listen to mother scream at you while you clean expensive leather couch.