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Jan13

Tony D’s Rejected Comedy Samples: Talk Show Sample

by tonyd on January 13, 2018 at 12:45 am

So back in 2013, someone out in L.A. was trying to launch a new late night talk show.  I tried out with these three jokes and a bit for the host to do.  I don’t know.  I thought they worked.  Remember, these are from 2013.

Three Jokes and a Desk Bit

Written by Tony DiGerolamo

Copyright 2013

Syria has finally admitted it has chemical weapons.  Russia has offered to dispose them properly, but the U.S. is insisting that it will be faster to let Lamar Odom smoke them.

Sharon Osbourne revealed today that she had a brief fling with Jay Leno.  Jimmy Kimmel announced that he would also have a fling with Sharon, but it would be less funny and not as well received.

Atlantic City is hosting the Miss America Pageant after six years.  City officials, who have been fighting the city’s image of being sleazy are so excited that they promise this time that the contestants’ hotel rooms will not be charged by the hour.

Desk Bit:  Guy on the toilet who reads weird news stories.  The host talks to a guy on a toilet who reads weird news stories.  The host makes a joke about them, but the guy on the toilet strains every time he reads.

 

└ Tags: Atlantic City, comedy, desk bit, funny, humor, Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Sharon Osbourne, Super Frat, Syria, Toilet, Tony D's Rejected Comedy Samples, Tony DiGerolamo
Comments Off on Tony D’s Rejected Comedy Samples: Talk Show Sample
Jan12

Rewritten Headlines: MC Obvious to Tank Shopper

by tonyd on January 12, 2018 at 12:01 am

Cry For Help Answered

Old Man Rants About Foreigners

Store Takes Back Anything

Gross Ad Published

Website Continues to Manipulate Society

Weather Stealing America

Famous Dude Likes to Get Laid

Don’t Make Out With Monkeys

Russians Fuck With Our Politicians

Man Really Needs Snacks

 

└ Tags: America, Canada, comedy, Costco, current events, facebook, funny, headlines, humor, James Franco, monkeys, News, peeing, Rewritten Headlines, Russians, selling drugs, store, Super Frat, tank, Tony DiGerolamo, Trump, wind
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Jan10

Ten Things I Expect From President Oprah

by tonyd on January 10, 2018 at 12:01 am

I’m stuck on a deadline, so here’s Ten Things I Expect From President Oprah.

  1.  Dr. Oz to become Surgeon General.
  2.  Dr. Phil gets even more preachy if you can believe it.
  3.  Oprah runs around the Congress with a microphone taking questions.
  4.  Every State of the Union to feature at least three celebrity guests.
  5.  Tom Cruise gets to go to the White House and jump on the couch every time he finds a new girlfriend.
  6.  You get some healthcare!  And you get some healthcare!  And you!  And you!
  7.  Phil Donahue writes all the policy, but she takes credit.
  8.  Steadman recognized as First “Guy-She-Hangs-Out-With”.
  9.  O Magazine mandatory reading at every public school.
  10.  You get higher taxes!  And you get higher taxes!  And you!  And you!
└ Tags: C-SPAN, comedy, Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, funny, humor, list, O Magazine, Oprah Winfrey, Phil Donahue, President Oprah, ratings, State of the Union, Steadman, Super Frat, Ten Things I Learned, Tom Cruise, Tony DiGerolamo, top ten, White House
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Jan08

Binge Watch: Master of None

by tonyd on January 8, 2018 at 12:01 am

I don’t say this often, but Master of None might be the best TV show I’ve seen in a while. I mean, I like Stranger Things, I dig the Trailer Park Boys, but this series— Holy shit. It hits close to home.

Aziz Ansari plays Dev, an Indian actor in New York. I only watched the first two episodes, but already it’s amazing. It kind of picks up where Seinfeld dropped the ball. It’s not that People Are Hell, as it was in Seinfeld (although there’s some of that in there), it’s that people are total pussies today. It sounds weird, but watching Dev go to crazy lengths just to figure out things and then blow off important things just to catch a movie with his friend is, I’m sad to say, me.

I’m always obsessing over food and stupid little things, while I feel like my ancestors did some real shit. Episode two just nailed that and the kind of random, city-dweller frustration that really, a lot of us have even outside the city.

I am totally hooked on this show and can’t wait for more. Big thumbs up for Master of None. See it Bros! Now on Netflix! (Actually, it’s always on Netflix since it’s a Netflix show.)

└ Tags: Aziz Ansari, Binge Watch, comedy, Dev, funny, humor, Master of None, Netflix, rating, review, Super Frat, thumbs up
Comments Off on Binge Watch: Master of None
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