Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli. Let’s see if her tweets are just as mean.
@LisaLampanelli
December 22nd: “Man dies after eating cocaine hidden in brother’s butt. You know what they say: Crack PLUS crack kills!”
That’s going to be a Darwin Awards winner.
December 23rd: “Hilarious @HuffingtonPost piece by best writer ever @AlanZweibel — who happens to be working on my B’way show! http://say.ly/zbA1aLf”
Another stand up comic on Broadway? Is this just a ploy to drive comedy club tickets up to $200?
December 23rd: “NJ Nets sign Kris Humphries. Poor guy! He’s gonna go from being married 72 days to losing 72 games!”
On the bright side, he can only be traded up.
December 23rd: “Floyd Mayweather gets 90 days 4 spousal abuse. Michael Buffer coming 2 house 2 yell “Let’s Get Ready 2 Rumble” totally uncalled for!”
Still undefeated. Can’t argue with stats.
December 24th: “Alec Baldwin no longer wants to be NYC Mayor. Instead, he’ll focus on becoming President of American Airlines! #MyFellowAngryPassenger”
Sometimes, I think he really believes he’s a rich executive that runs NBC.
December 24th: “Enjoy the best of the holidays, Meanies! Delayed flights, Dad’s drunk inappropriate jokes, and your bulimic Aunt wretching in the can!”
Oh, that was that noise.
December 24th: “”Live With Kelly” ratings plunge without Regis. Yeah, that’s what every hausfrau w/a gunt wants to see – a perky blonde w/a flat stomach!”
It’s the only reason I would get up for it.
December 25th: “Mel Gibson divorce finalized, is officially single. One place you WON’T find him looking for a new lady: JDate! #happyhanukkah”
Ba-dum-dum! Keesh!
December 25th: “Phony doctor performs liposuction while smoking cigar. “Doc, shld u really be smoking while operating?” “Shut up fatso it helps me relax!””
And how did all that cocaine get up in here anyway?
December 26th: “Kobe Bryant wants to reconcile for sake of kids. He wants to teach ’em math. $280 mil from basketball – $140 mil from divorce = reconcile!”
I dunno, $140 mil still buys a lot of strange.
6 hours ago: “Iran set to stone woman to death for adultery. That’s not fair. Over here, adulterers are given a starring role on ‘Two & A Half Men!’”
Nice.
Okay, let’s rate Lisa’s tweets. Solid stuff, lots of material and responds to fans. (I had to cut some out.) I give her an 8 for Style, an 8 for Insanity and an 8 for Mustness. That’s an overall 8. You gotta follow Lisa. She’s funny. Have you not seen the roasts? If you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
