Hey Bros:
I figure if Collegehumor can post cute videos, so can I. Here now are some bunnies I found while mowing the law.
EDIT: Had some technical difficulties, but now they are fixed! Sorry all!
Hey Bros:
I figure if Collegehumor can post cute videos, so can I. Here now are some bunnies I found while mowing the law.
EDIT: Had some technical difficulties, but now they are fixed! Sorry all!
Hey Bros:
Just got back from a wake and funeral, so I’m a bit pressed for time. As some of you know, I used to write jokes for Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher. Here now are some of the jokes that got rejected. Thank you! Try the veal! Goodnight!
Tony D’s Politically Incorrect Jokes from the 1990’s
Copyright 1996
Federal investigators has ended its investigation into Hooters restaurant for refusing to hire male employees, much to the disappointment of the waiters who got their implants.
According to labor experts, a line of Wal-Mart clothing with Kathie Lee Gifford’s name on it is being produced by children in Honduran sweat shops for 31 cents and hour. Kathie Lee says Wal-Mart corrected the problem months ago and moved Cody to a different branch of the company.
Eric King, son of Don King, was listed Tuesday as New York City’s #1 deadbeat dad. He owes $175,000 in support to his daughter, who was born in 1990. A tearful Don King said, “I’m so damn proud of that boy!”
An unpublished novel by Little Women author, Louisa May Alcott, was uncovered by two scholars. It was supposedly written in 1849, but there is some doubt because the book is called Little Women and the Men who Love Them.
The latest invention for the internet is talking. With some new affordable software and a microphone hooked up to your PC, you can actually have a conversation with someone on the net. In a few years, video hookups will also be possible and experts say that within ten years, computer geeks will need to find another hobby.
The rebel leader of the Chechens surfaced. The Russians claimed they had killed him, turns out all he wasn’t dead he just spent the week hosting Saturday Night Live.
The band, Rage Against the Machine, is angry at Saturday Night Live. The show cut their second song during the Steve Forbes show because they wanted to hang American flags upside-down. One of the band members called SNL “bootlickers to their corporate masters…” and said their band got more laughs than the rest of the cast.
Mohammad Abu Abbas, one of the hijackers on the Achille Lauro in 1985, apologized for the hijacking and killing a wheelchair bound hostage. He said it was the only way to impress Hizbolla chicks.
David Copperfield is opening his own chain of restaurants called Copperfield Magic Underground. It will combine the restaurant experience with magic. Unfortunately, everytime you cut your food with a knife, a waiter runs over, covers it with a napkin and puts the pieces right back together.
A Yemeni appeals court ruled on Wednesday that a man, convicted of shooting schoolchildren, should be executed by firing squad and then nailed to a cross for three days near the scene of the crime. The children are understandably upset by this, the cross is right in the middle of the kickball field.
Five people were arrested in Italy for trying to smuggle 60 million dollars worth of cocaine in cans of tropical fruit. Police became suspicious when the locals started shooting themselves over Del Monte Fruit Cocktail.
Gas prices in California are out of control. Here in Los Angeles, one gas station’s prices topped the $2 mark. Experts say if the prices continue to rise, Los Angeles residents may have to find an alternate fuel source to make the smog.
Madonna was quoted yesterday as saying that she hopes to raise her child as a “good Catholic” just like her. Then, her and the reporters all had a good laugh.
House Republicans are refusing to vote on a minimum wage hike. Newt Gingrinch said he wouldn’t vote for it because it would be bad for the country and that he almost never gets ketchup when he goes through the drive thru.
A new study reports that children are more likely to recognize the Budweiser frogs, than Smokey the Bear. Critics say its because Budweiser is aiming the ads at pre-teens, Budweiser says it is not, it’s just harder to recognized Smokey the Bear when you’re loaded.
Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is Garry Shandling. The Garry Shandling show was genius, as well as the Larry Sanders Show. Let’s see if his tweets match up.
May 8th: “Once and for all: I’ve had no work done to the front of my face.”
Of course not, when they do a face lift, they pin all the skin in the back.
May 8th: “Truth is, I had eye laser surgery, but my eyes are so bad, the doctor said he’d have to go in thru the back.”
My doctor said the same thing about testing a hernia. I won’t fall for that again.
May 8th: “Sometimes when I stand-up for myself too fast, I get dizzy. Is that a symptom of low…. blood pressure or esteem?”
Depends. While you’re on the floor, do you sob in a fetal position for an hour?
May 8th: “Hold on, I have to take a leak.”
Garry, don’t work blue, you’re better than that.
May 8th: “Sorry, can’t hear you. Be right back!!!”
No, Garry, Twitter is a visual.
May 8th: “Everybody: Hold whatever you got!! I’m going to watch the historical loss the Lakers are currently suffering. Dallas shuts them out 4 – 0.”
Where’s your courtside celebrity fans now, Lakers? Huh? Where are they now?!
May 8th: “Every time I watch a bb game, I think that I should put in more wood floors. Really opens it up! Back later tonight. I salute you!!!”
And bleacher seating can really add to the value of your home.
May 8th: “I’m fighting Mosley next, and my sunday game guys playing Lakers next Sunday.”
No idea what you’re tweeting. But, here’s a clip from the Larry Sanders show.
22 hours ago: “Until I watched the Bin Laden videos, I didn’t realize it was silly to sit in a robe and watch yourself on TV!”
Why do you think Bin Laden got rid of his Internet?
21 hours ago: “I was at the doctor for a physical, standing in front of him, and he said, “Raise one hand.” I said, “Which one?” He said, “Surprise me.””
Thank you! He’ll be here all week folks!
Okay, let’s rate Garry’s tweets. I give him a 6 for Style, 7 for Mustness and 8 for Insanity. That’s an overall score of 7. Not bad. Worth checking out. And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
Kenneth Branagh directs this movie adaption of Marvel’s “The Mighty Thor” comic book. Kirby’s epic saga gets a pretty respectable treatment, as Branagh does his best to infuse the movie with a Shakespearian tone.
The basic plot, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is on the verge of taking his rightful place as the King of Asgard, but his arrogance causes his father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins) to cast him out. On Earth, Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) is studying the after effects of wormholes. This ties into Asgard as their magic is so huge and epic, it’s as if the gods are really a race of aliens.
Thor’s supporting cast, Sif, Volstagg, Hogun and Fandral steal some of the scenes and Tom Hiddleston is particularly effective as a nearly sympathetic Loki. All the Asgardian scenes are pretty cool. The Earth scenes, not so much, but Branagh’s pacing breezes through it.
The weakest part of the movie is probably the love story, which doesn’t take up much screentime. Portman characters is so smitten with Thor immediately, it’s almost like, “Geez, lady, get a grip.” Hemsworth does an excellent job as the God of Thunder.
There is a reveal after the credits that wasn’t all that exciting, but it does set up the Avengers movie. Thor is kind of a good stand alone and the Avengers sounds promising. Despite the quality of the movie, it feels like a one-shot deal. I don’t see how they are going to have a sequel with the same weight. J. Michael Straczynski and Mark Protosevich both get “story by” credits.
Worth seeing on the big screen, I give Thor 8.5 keggers out of 10.
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Bad Pudding
Beta Male
Between the Realms
Black Tail and Marz
Bunny Wiggins
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Center Lane
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City Folk, The Webcomic
Company Man
Convenience Store Diet
Corpse Run Comics
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Damn Heroes
Destroyed by Robots
Dodgy Comics
Doug Lefler
Druid City
Fart Related Comics
Fatherhood. Badly Doodled
The Flavor Razor
Frownland
The Funnicks
Game Cupid
Games Finder
Game Period
Gerbil with a Jetpack
Giving the Devil Her Due
H.I.T.
The Hero Business
Hit Girlz
I, Mummy
Java Jaguar
Ker-Bop
Kick Man
Krrobar.com
LaSalle’s Legacy
Legacy Control
Modest Medusa
Murdercake
Mythdirection
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The Other End
OutwitTrade
Plan C
QWERTYvsDvorak
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SCAPULA
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