Super Frat

Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is the voice of Moe on the Simpsons, star of stage and screen, Hank Azaria. (I got Simpsons on the brain playing their awesome new iPad game.) He also the hilarious villain in Night at the Museum 2. Let’s see if he’s got funny tweets.

@HankAzaria

January 12th: “This killed me:http://clipnation.com/darth-vader-hard-hearing/ …”

God damn, that was hilarious.

January 13th: “Herbal cigarettes and fake cocaine…what more can anyone ask? pic.twitter.com/EZQ489jT #GoonSquad”

Cool, behind the scenes. Does fake cocaine make you end up selling all your fake belongings to support your fake habit?

January 15th: “This was fun! RT @MSGNetworks Watch @JillMartin interview @HankAzaria during the #Knicks game. Do you want the scuba? http://ow.ly/gPHLM”

Hmm, a Knicks fan. And they still let you into Los Angeles?

January 17th: “I was so paranoid about getting the flu in NYC that I wouldn’t touch anything, So I got a stomach virus instead.”

That’s what you get for picking things up with your teeth.

January 18th: “Anyone else following this White House Death Star Petition? http://ow.ly/gS69S”

Some people have a lot of spare time.

January 21st: “Moe and lie detectors don’t get along RT @stacy_walsh Moe Syzlak, you’re the best. http://ow.ly/gSdSV #TheSimpsons”

One of the best Moe-ments ever!

3 hours ago: “Many have asked about my favorite #Simpsons episode. Cape Feare! ”

That is quite an excellent one. It really runs the gamut from movie parody, musical theater, guest voices— My favorite part is Homer trying to learn his new name.

Okay, let’s rate Hank’s tweets. I give him a 7 for Mustness, an 8 for Insanity and a 9 for Style. That’s an overall score of 8. Rock solid. You gotta follow Moe!

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here!

└ Tags: actor, Cape Feare, comedy, Darth Vader, funny, Hank Azaria, humor, Moe, Night At the Museum 2, Super Frat, The Goon Squad, The Simpsons, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus

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Jan21

Ten Jobs You’ll Never See a Neanderthal Do

by tonyd on January 21, 2013 at 12:38 am

A new article speculates that we are close to cloning Neanderthals. Here now are ten jobs we humans are probably not in danger of losing.

1. Runway Model (Those catwalks don’t support much.)

2. Wedding planner (Unless you want the theme to be something like “Buffalo guts”.)

3. Barber (Clubbing your head is not going to make your hair shorter.)

4. Firewood stacker (Because I assume they have the same reaction to fire as Frankenstein.)

5. Winner of the Tour de France (Because steroids would just make these guys way too huge.)

6. Courtroom stenographer (Their giant hands will never hit the right keys.)

7. Cellphone salesmen (Are you really going to buy your phone from someone that believes taking a picture will capture your soul?)

8. Waiter (Oh, sure, he can carry a lot of food, but he’s probably going to put his giant thumb right on your steak.)

9. Marriage Counselor (He’s just going to advise you to club your wife and that’s bad advice.)

10. Bathroom attendant (I don’t think you want to be sitting on the toilet when the smell of ass finally makes a Neanderthal snap.)

└ Tags: comedy, funny, humor, Super Frat, Ten Jobs You'll Never See a Neadnerthal Do, Ten Things You'll Never See, Tony DiGerolamo

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Jan20

Your Fratoscope: January 20, 2013

by tonyd on January 20, 2013 at 12:13 am

If your birthday is this week: Your Zero Dark Thirty themed birthday party ends with you being waterboarded with cake.

Aries: The stars say, “Seriously? You’re still reading horoscopes and claim to be an atheist? Do you not see anything wrong with that?”

Taurus: The next milkshake you have will be made with caulk. That’s why you shouldn’t go to Lowes for milkshakes.

Gemini: Your chocolate hamburger experiment will not be successful, but your kitchen will smell great for the week after.

Lemini: A clerk will tell you that he has you down for 2013 in the store death pool when you go to buy a carton of cigarettes.

Cancer: You’ll discover that the gypsy who told your fortune is heightening the odds by hiding man-eating jaguars in your car.

Leo: You will finally sell that ornery jaguar you inherited to a desperate gypsy.

Virgo: This week, you’ll discover you’re not a werewolf, just a hairy cannibal.

Libra: You’ll discover that that bag of terrible tasting raw almonds was actually a bag of rabbit turds.

Scorpio: You’ll forget your safety word, but the chafing will be worth it.

Sagittarius: You will find that someone has ironically filled your monkey mascot costume with actual live monkeys.

Capricorn: You will find a message at the bottom of your can of soup. It will say, “You probably shouldn’t have eaten this.”

Aquarius: You attempt at paintball gun control backfires and you will leave the meeting covered in bright green and blue splotches.

Pisces: You will find out replacing the steering wheel of your car with an Xbox controller is very dangerous, but you do make it to places in record time.

└ Tags: 2013, Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, Gemini, horoscope, January 20, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac

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