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Love or Ice Cream?
Not That Much of a Bro
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Determined Depression
College Brain Surgery
A Dick in Time
Jan14

Movies You Missed: Bernie

by tonyd on January 14, 2013 at 12:01 am

Bernie is a 2011 movie starring Jack Black.  Based on a true story about a Texas assistant funeral director, Black does a great job of playing a character.  The basic premise is that Bernie (played by Black) is an asexual guy that loves his community.  He actually loves helping people in the funeral business and especially goes the extra mile to comfort elderly widows.  One particularly mean widow, Marjorie Nugent (Shirley McClaine) ends up glomming onto Bernie because of his good nature.

Unfortunately, their pairing turns out to be the worst thing in the world of Bernie, but kind of the best thing the world for the town.  Beyond that, I can’t give away more of the plot without ruining it.  Directed by Richard Linklater of Slacker and Dazed and Confused fame, the movie explores small town Texas life.  It’s got a pseudo-documentary feel and follows the ins and outs of the true story without overly dramatizing it.  It’s a funny, quirky character study and totally worth putting in your Netflix cue.

 

└ Tags: analysis, Bernie, cinema, film, Jack Black, movie, Movies You Missed, Netflix, rating, review, Richard Linklater, Shirely McClaine, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo
2 Comments
Jan13

Your Fratoscope: January 13, 2013

by tonyd on January 13, 2013 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  You will get a visit from your childhood hero, Racer X, but a monkey and a kid hiding in the trunk will ruin everything.

Aries:  You will get out of a parking ticket but you’re going to have to make out with the cop for at least 20 minutes.

Taurus:  You parrot will chew you out for your horrible fashion sense.

Gemini:  You discover that the weed your smoking isn’t bad, it’s just that your bong is full of pee.

Lemini:  You will learn that your roommate fits into a suitcase if you cut off his legs first.

Cancer:  You will get into a car accident with a clown car and injure 45 people.

Leo:  Cashing in your spare change goes horrible wrong when you accidentally pour all your change into the bank’s space heater.

Virgo:  Turns out those zombies you shot yesterday were your new neighbors coming to tell you the zombie apocalypse hadn’t started yet.

Libra:  This week, your car will transform into an Autobot and demand a weekly hot wax.

Scorpio:  The stars say, you will discover that you didn’t have sex with one of the Rolling Stones, just a random 87 year-old man.

Sagittarius:  Your tattoo artist will reveal that he thought your tramp stamp would look better if it just said, “Fart Patrol”.

Capricorn:  Batman will beat the crap out of you, then apologize after he checks your driver’s license.

Aquarius:  The ghost of James Brown will appear to tell you that Hell isn’t very funky.

Pisces:  You will enjoy an adequate brunch served by Vin Diesel.

└ Tags: 2013, Aquarius, Aries, astrology, autobot, Cancer, Capricorn, clown car, comedy, funny, Gemini, horoscope, humor, James Brown, January 13, Lemini, Leo, Libra, parody, Pisces, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
Comments Off on Your Fratoscope: January 13, 2013
Jan12

Rewritten Headlines: Flu Shot to Big Thing

by tonyd on January 12, 2013 at 12:01 am

People Urge the Purchase of Shitty Product

Government and NRA Agree to Gang Up on Video Games

Iran Hopes Ben Affleck Will Work for Them

Endangered Species Too Delicious

President Lies to Finally End War

French Surrendering Somehow Helpful

“Fuck Off” Email Now Expensive

Daytona Totally Worth Ticket Price

Giant Plane Has Problems Flying For Some Reason

Star Jones Not Biggest Star

└ Tags: Afghanistan, Argo, Ben Affleck, Big Thing, Boeing, comedy, current events, Daytona, flu shot, French, funny, Giant Plane, guns, headlines, humor, Iran, Joe Biden, Mark Zuckerberg, News, NRA, Obama, parody, quasar, Rewritten Headlines, Rewritten News, star, Star Jones, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, universe, video games
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Jan11

Ten Things You’ll Never See Banned in Gun Control Legislation

by tonyd on January 11, 2013 at 12:01 am

1. Holding your gun sideways to look gangsta

2.  Giggling uncontrollably when shooting targets in crotch

3.  Saying “click-click” instead actually cocking the gun

4.  Shooting two pistols while diving simultaneously like Max Payne

5.  Ducking out of the way of bullets, even though there’s no humanely way possible to dodge something that fast

6. Making it illegal to blow the smoke away from the barrel after shooting a few rounds

7.  Saying “Make my day” or “Reach for it, Pilgrim” when aiming at a potential threat

8. Writing “Kiss it goodbye” on the side of your rifle barrel

9. Doing this.

10.  Throwing an empty gun at an opponent when you run out of bullets

└ Tags: comedy, funny, Gun Control, guns, humor, Max Payne, Super Frat, Ten Things You'll Never See, Ten Things You'll Never See Banned in Gun Control Legislation, Tony DiGerolamo
Comments Off on Ten Things You’ll Never See Banned in Gun Control Legislation
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