Super Frat

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die.

Today’s contestant is legendary on the Twitter, Jaden Smith.  Is he being funny?  Is he being ironic?  Can he not tell the difference between the two?  Let’s find out.

@officialjaden

May 2nd:  “SPIDER MAN IS AMAZING OH MY GOD !!!!!! PLEASE GO WATCH IT”

I make comics and I can’t get this excited about a Spiderman film.

May 2nd:  “GUYS WOW”

Stop Internet yelling.

May 8th:  “Arnold Swayze”

A surprising number of images come up if you google that, but it still makes little sense to me.

May 9th:  “Life Is Painfully Beautiful.”

Is it a movie title?  The beginning of some bad poetry?  A bumper sticker pitch?

May 9th:  “You Can Discover Everything You Need To Know About Everything By Looking At Your Hands”

No.  No, you can’t.  Also, capitalizing everything makes everything looks like the title of a book.

May 12th:  “Fixed Habits To Respond To Authority Takes 12 Years. Have Fun ”

Um, wut?

May 13th:  “Obviously Shia LaBeouf And Edgar Casey Are The a Only Ones Who Know What’s Going On Here.”

They have the secret code to this twitter?  Great, now we’ll never know.

May 15th:  “They Distract You With Us So You Don’t Pay Attention To The Missing Girls In Nigeria.”

Hold on.  First, who is “they” in this sentence?  Second, why not take some of those millions and Karate Kid moves and go do something if you think it’s so important.

May 19th:  “Lexington Presley Avenue”

Is this a location?  Another celebrity combo with a road?  Very confusing.

June 17th:  “No One Belived Galileo Either.”

Spellcheck.  You’re a celebrity’s son.  Also, the implication is “either” as in me and Galileo.  So what don’t they believe about you?  I don’t believe you keep posting.

June 25th:  “youtube.com/watch?v=9EZqQ9n52dk … #YAYA”

This was kind of like the rap version of Revolution Number Nine.

June 26th:  “msftsrepublic.tumblr.com  #III”

Guess this is the clothing line you wear?

June 29th:  “Msftsrep.com  12:01am”

This is basically the umbrella link, but now he’s posting it with a time.  Not sure why.

June 30th:  “Don’t Let People Tell You Jack. #Live”

What if I’m on the hill and I’m trying to identify the people coming up the hill to fetch a pail of water?  I’m not going to get 50% of the information!

June 30th:  “ITS OUT!!!! OMG”

No idea.

June 30th:  “Msftsrep.com”

Yeah, you posted that dude.

June 30th:  “When CTV2 Is Coming I Will Let You Know. Trust Me”

So that’s a Canadian TV channel.  Not sure why I would check in with Jaden on this or why trusting him is an issue.  Are the Canadian television people untrustworthy?

July 4th:  “Anything You See In Any Magazine Ever Is Fake.”

That’s absolutely not true.

July 4th:  “And If You Ask Me They Have About 5 More Years Until That Entire Industry Is A Graveyard.”

I guess he’s talking about magazines.  Kind of an odd way of saying print is dead, but okay.

July 10th:  “Are You Happy?”

More confused than happy.

July 15th:  “Do You Go To Sleep Excited To Wake Up The Next day?”

Guess if I was born a millionaire I would.  Ya know, excited to wake up and count my money.

July 15th:  “1% Last Forever.”

So, rich people lasts forever?  Did they tell you something in the rich people’s club that we don’t know?  They’re cloning you, right?

July 24th:  “Jake Gylenhaal Is A Genius.”

Well, he’s a pretty good actor.  I’m not sure about his IQ.  Seems okay.

July 24th:  “WATCH HIS MOVIES”

First off, bossy.  Very bossy.  Second off, just because Jake is in a smart movie, doesn’t mean he wrote and directed it.  He’s an actor.  I mean, he makes good career choices and that makes him a certain level of smart.

July 26th:  ““@TheAmax23: We love you Jdawg #dinneratthedel @officialjaden @taking_a_shoop” This Guys To Funny.”

*too

July 28th:  “Becuase You Have Bin Taught That Complaining Is Easier Than Doing.”

*Because  *been

Weird.  It’s like he feels the need to impart wisdom that he doesn’t seem to totally have.  The whole Twitter feels kind of tone deaf.

Okay, let’s rate this Twitter.  For Mustness, I give him a 7.  For Style, 4.  For Insanity would be 10.  That’s an overall score of 7.  Kind of a low score, but still pretty fascinating.  I may have to revisit this one.

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