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Aug08

Frat Boy At the Movies: Guardians of the Galaxy

by tonyd on August 8, 2014 at 12:01 am

FratBoyATtheMovies

Full disclosure: The bros and I were paid cash money to help promote this movie, so take my review with that in mind.  This, however, is not a paid review.

I wanted to like Guardians of the Galaxy, not only because I helped promote it, but as a fan of Parks and Rec, I wanted to see Chris Pratt do well in his first big leading role where you see his face.  In a nutshell, he does great, almost carrying the movie on his own with the help of a great supporting cast.  But there’s no denying Pratt’s charisma.  He looks like he’s having fun the entire movie and thus, the audience does too.

As a science fiction movie, G of G feels like a large world.  Writer/director James Gunn and writer Nicole Perlman process the comic book by Dan Abnett and Andy Landing.  (The original comic was created by Arnold Drake and Gene Colan, but those featured a different character line up.)  The various alien races in the Marvel Universe are mentioned and/or appear.  The filmmakers are not shy about throwing up all sorts of references.  Even I, Mr. Comic Book, didn’t get them all, but the movie places them in context so you know whether they are important or not.  The Universe feels big and it’s important players are highlighted at just the right moments.

The plot is pretty simple.  A ragtag group of misfits must team up to save the Universe.  Gunn’s pacing is, at times, a little too fast, but for the most part, the reasons the characters are forced together is at least mentioned.  That they become such solid, good friends in the space of days, well, the audience can forgive the rush because they are having fun.

Wrestler Dave Bautista is rock solid as Drax the Destroyer.  Bradley Cooper is full of anger as Rocket.  Vin Diesel is subdued as Groot.  Zoe Saldana is okay as Gamora.  Unfortunately, the rushing from bad guys to good is most noticeable with her character.  She’s awfully nice for an assassin.  Pratt is the stand out as the upbeat, roguish and sometimes clueless Peter Quill.  Hired to find a mysterious orb, soon everyone in the galaxy is out to get it.  It’s not really clear why specifically Quill is hired or if he just stumbles upon it by accident.

Michael Rooker has a great role as Quill’s former mentor.  (No matter what role he plays, even an alien, he’s always an evil hillbilly.)  John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, Benicio Del Toro, Peter Serafinowicz (Sean’s roommate from Sean of the Dead) and quite possibly, everyone in Hollywood not doing anything for a week worked on this film.

This movie was inches from being oversold to me.  The comparisons to Star Wars?  Seriously?  It’s fun.  Definitely a summer movie.  There are surprising moments.  There are no “exposition moments” where characters suddenly begin emoting.  Instead, these are inserted pretty organically in the story.  Like I said, it’s almost a little too face paced.  It actually could’ve used a moment or two like that to explain some things and the set up for a sequel (which is already scheduled) is a bit clunky.

Yes, there is after credits stuff and one of the big Marvel villains, who will no doubt resurface down the line, makes his appearance.  He’s a space villain, so if you’ve read even one Marvel comic in that genre, you probably already know who I’m talking about.

So it is definitely worth seeing, bros.  I caught a $5 matinee, so that can’t be beat.  It probably wouldn’t be bad in 3-D either, since there are a lot of space fights.  I give Guardians of the Galaxy 7.5 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkeghalfkeg

└ Tags: Andy Landing, Arnold Drake, Benicio Del Toro, Bradley Cooper, Chris Pratt, comedy, comic book, Dan Abnett, Dave Bautista, Drax the Destroyer, Frat Boy at the Movies, funny, galaxy, Gamora, Gene Colon, Glenn Close, Groot, Guardians of the Galaxy, humor, James Gunn, John C. Reilly, Marvel, Michael Rooker, Nicole Perlman, orb, pacing, Parks and Rec, Peter Quill, Peter Serafinowicz, rating, review, Rocket, science fiction, Sean of the Dead, space, Starlord, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, Vin Diesel, wrestler, Zoe Saldana
1 Comment
Aug06

Twitter in Focus: Dave England

by tonyd on August 6, 2014 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is Dave England from Jackass.  (The guy who shits a lot.)  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@daveenglandshit

July 14th:  “VIDEO! Is this normal behavior for a 47 year old cock-asian? ¡ʎɐpɥʇɹıq ʎddɐɥ 5points aka Skater Dave… http://instagram.com/p/qc_SZXqOrb/”

Skaters live to 47?!  Was he in a coma?

July 16th:  “¡snıʇuodsıɹɥɔ@ ʎɐpɥʇɹıq ʎddɐɥ ”

How the fuck do you flip over fonts?!

July 17th:  “Throwback Thursday of my morning. 3am-Noon pic.twitter.com/tL8C6A0EW4”

Just give the penis mushroom an hour to relax.

July 19th:  “My little girl turned 13 today. I don’t know how stoked I am about that! This pic is from 10 years ago. #Ruby ”

Awww.

July 19th:  “The #snakerun jonahcantu has been dreaming about got poured this morning thanks to shanoinsano… http://instagram.com/p/qpQUZKKOtO/”

You’re gonna break some sweet bones in there.

July 20th:  “We will miss you here on Earth, jonahcantu but we know you are now in a much better place.… http://instagram.com/p/qryVFtKOov/”

Oh, shit.  Bummer.

July 22nd:  “¡VIDEO! #Clyde had an allergic reaction to girls this afternoon. #Ojai http://instagram.com/p/qxV6gHqOqI/”

Poor kid.  Well, at least they weren’t talking to him.

July 24th:  “Who hasn’t wondered what #Santa does in the #summertime, right? Well, now you know- he slips into… http://instagram.com/p/q3A4GuKOmI/”

Santa’s workin’ it!

July 25th:  “How hot is Chuck Norris in this leaked Mission Impossible 5 trailer?! Thanks @SamMacaroni http://youtu.be/sLsQC8jpidg”

I’d watch this movie.

July 26th:  “Why does #Instagram always gotta make such a big deal about everything #all the time? @ Instagram’s… http://instagram.com/p/q5mzwJqOiY/”

Hipster pussies.  WTF?

July 27th:  “¡VIDEO! shanoinsano grinding through the #snakerun he made for jonahcantu. #jonahsskatespot #sinatra… http://instagram.com/p/q-KtshqOi1/”

Crazy idea.  Fill that bitch up with water and swim in it!

July 28th:  “One man shits in a bucket while the other forces his chihuahua to touch a severed shark head that has… http://instagram.com/p/rA1P0JqOoR/”

No offense, Dave, but I’m not leaving my good bucket around you.

July 29th:  “How weird is this mistake?! http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/nz-herald-apologises-fallen-soldier-s-family-over-jackass-photo-blunder-6038967 …”

Someone at the newspaper’s graphic department didn’t get a raise.

4 hours ago:  “Have you ever tried vet yogurt? It’s made from all the sick mommy animals’ milk.”

Wow, you actually made yogurt more gross for me.

Okay, let’s rate Dave’s tweets.  I give him an 8 for Mustness, an 9 for Style and a 10 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 9.  You gotta follow Dave.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

 

 

└ Tags: Chuck Norris, comedian, comedy, Dave England, funny, humor, Instagram, Jackass, shit, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus, video
1 Comment
Aug04

Ten Things I’d Like to See in the News

by tonyd on August 4, 2014 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

1.  A TV news anchor that wasn’t particularly good looking.

2.  A newscast that doesn’t cover “entertainment news”.

3.  A Q&A with the president where he has to answer incredibly uncomfortable questions, ending with him walking out of the interview.

4.  A local news anchor that doesn’t attempt to make an awkward joke at the end of the afternoon newscast.

5.  News that begins with, “At the top of the hour, no one has been shot in the United States for the past 24 hours.”

6.  A report from Gaza about puppies, children who received and none of them are dead.

7.  TV Key underneath a shitty congressman that says, “Another Shitty Member of Congress”.

8.  News reporters who stop covering a disaster to help the people on camera.

9.  News graphics that say, “Top of the Hour Bullshit”.

10.  Coverage of “The Most Boring Day in the Middle East”.

└ Tags: cable news, comedy, Congress, Congressman, funny, Gaza, guns, humor, joke, lists, Middle East, News, news caster, president, Super Frat, Ten Things I'd Like to See, Tony DiGerolamo, top ten, TV, United States
1 Comment
Aug03

Your Fratoscope: August 3, 2014

by tonyd on August 3, 2014 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  A group of puppets will throw you a surprise party.  Unfortunately, their puppeteers leave before you unwrap gifts.

Aries:  The stars say, change your underwear.  It’s skid city down there.

Taurus:  You will receive wise counsel from the next churro vendor you meet.

Gemini:  Your homemade salsa does not go over well.  Maybe next time, don’t use your lawnmower and lawn mower bag to dice the tomatoes.

Lemini:  This week, your mechanic gives you an estimate.  He says, you’ll probably die alone.

Cancer:  Your roommate has sex inside the fridge again.  Get your air conditioner fixed.

Leo:  Your movie theater will attempt to charge you an extra two dollar “seat fee”.

Virgo:  You will get carded at the toy store.

Libra:  Your test drive will turn into a road trip and eventually a police man hunt.

Scorpio:  You will get your usual booth at the dildo convention.

Sagittarius:  Installing a slip and slide in your driveway causes your mailman to squeal “Wheeeeee!” every time he delivers your mail.

Capricorn:  Lock your windows, the racoons are regrouping.

Aquarius:   You will see hobos making sweet love on a public beach.

Pisces:  You finally put the snow shovel away.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, frat boy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
1 Comment
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