Super Frat

October 24th: “Unknown Fact… If someone plays Xmas music in October, you’re legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse for Halloween decoration.”

Totally true.

October 24th: “Even though my birthday was 6 months ago… I am still accepting gifts.”

Solid policy. I do the same thing with Thanksgiving.

October 24th: “Sad News… My Uncle Pat, a Crossword Puzzle Fanatic, died last week. He was buried 6 down and 3 across.”

Rim shot!

13 hours ago: “Show me a home where the Buffalo roam… and I’ll show you a home full of Buffalo Shit.”

Still, it would have to be a HUGE home.

11 hours ago: “Sure, the Grass may be greener on the other Side… but I’d hate to have their Water Bill.”

Hey look, there’s a reason he wears a bag.

6 hours ago: “Sure money talks… It says “spend me”.”

Yes. Yes it does.

3 hours ago: “For most men having kids is a big responsibility… because they have to deal with them every other weekend.”

Hey-yo!

2 hours ago: “Unknown Fact… Googling your symptoms when you feel sick is the quickest way to convince yourself that you’re dying.”

Sounds like he’s getting on in years. Guess he’s an old bag! Oh, that’s terrible. You might say, sack-religious! But seriously, I don’t mean to make a federal case out of this! Uh….tote!

Okay, let’s rate the Unknown Comic’s Tweets. I give him a 9 for Mustness, a 9 for Style and a 10 for Insanity. That’s an overall score of 9.5. You gotta follow the Unknown Comic!

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

└ Tags: bag, case, comedian, comedy, funny, humor, rim shot!, sack, Super Frat, The Gong Show, The Unknown Comic, Tony DiGerolamo, tote, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus

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Oct24

Ten Things That Shouldn’t Happen Before Halloween

by tonyd on October 24, 2016 at 12:01 am

Out driving around yesterday and me and Missus spotted a Christmas tree and Christmas decorations…in October. Here are the other Ten Things That Shouldn’t Happen Before Halloween.

Thanksgiving Decorations: Halloween has to be over!
No team is “going to the Super Bowl” yet: Give it a month or two.
Snow: Thank God for climate change (or whoever). No one wants to Trick or Treat in the snow.
Leaf Raking: I’d rather not have the street flood for weeks because you decided to put a giant pile of leaves in the street weeks before the street cleaners come.
Oscar Night: Shut up about that crap. The movies aren’t even over for the year!
Veterans Day: Not in October. Not before candy.
Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays argument: We could do without this bullshit altogether.
Dentist visit: Shouldn’t happen until after the candy is gone.
New Year’s Eve Plans: After Halloween gives you two months. No party needs more than that for planning.
Voting: If anything, the debates should happen every other day leading up to the vote in November. Then we wouldn’t have politics ruining Halloween with weird political costumes. Can we just make all of October Halloween?!

└ Tags: Christmas, comedy, dentist, funny, Halloween, Happy Holidays, humor, leaves, list, New Year's Eve, Oscar Night, snow, Super Frat, Ten Things That Shouldn't Happen, Thanksgiving, Tony DiGerolamo, top ten, Veterans' Day

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Oct23

Your Fratoscope: October 23, 2016

by tonyd on October 23, 2016 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week: Your cat will cancel your birthday party so you’ll have more time for petting.

Aries: You will eat nothing but left Twix bars, but then realize “left” is only relative to how you picked up the candy in the first place.

Taurus: Your attempt to Trick or Treat a week early is met with a mixed reaction and little candy.

Gemini: The band, Jane’s Addiction, reunites on your front lawn and then, just as quickly, breaks up.

Lemini: Hillary Clinton will tie you to a chair and beat you on the shins until you answer the question, “Are you my bitch?!” to her satisfaction.

Cancer: The stars say, they can see that Frisbee on your roof.

Leo: Take charge this week! Everyone else stuck on the life boat is passed out from dehydration anyway.

Virgo: Check your poop, it’s full of rubies for some reason.

Libra: A high pressure salesman will get you to buy the Los Angeles Clippers on your credit card.

Scorpio: You will be manhandled by a customer service rep.

Sagittarius: You’ll see Donald Trump being thrown out of a tanning salon where he’ll beg the manager for just “five more minutes”.

Capricorn: Your mailman will accidentally bring you junk mail from the future.

Aquarius: You’ll find that missing hotel in Monopoly when you accidentally step on it walking to the bathroom at three in the morning.

Pisces: The Cheeseburger Fairy insists that you owe her over $40 for her last visit.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, Cheeseburger Fairy, comedy, Donald Trump, Frisbee, funny, future, Gemini, Hillary Clinton, horoscope, humor, Jane's Addiction, junk mail, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Los Angeles Clippers, Pisces, poop, predictions, psychic, rubies, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, stars, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Trick or Treat, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac

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