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Dec17

WTF Did I Just Watch? West World

by tonyd on December 17, 2016 at 12:31 am

tonystunned

I saw the original West World movie starring Richard Benjamin and Yul Brenner.  It’s amazing and for 1973, even more so.  I knew, as soon as they announced the TV show, it would be a problem.  I watched the first episode and here are my thoughts.

The Good:  There’s no denying that the production values are top notch.  Quality actors, including Ed Harris and sets from the future and the Wild West.  Unfortunately, that’s all window dressing.  Just because your car has a good paint job, doesn’t mean it’s going to run well.

The Bad:  Let’s break it down.

The TV show is going to just spend longer doing what the movie did:  The pay off in the movie is huge.  Watching this episode is like seeing the first ten minutes of the movie.  We get it.  The robots are going to malfunction, they thing they’re human, etc, etc.  Anthony Hopkins isn’t needed to sell that well trod path.

The technology isn’t good:  In 1973, the idea that you would have to open up a robot to fix its programming made sense.  In 2016, when you can go to the Apple store and they can reset your iPad back to default without ever touching it or barely touching, now makes that obsolete.  This is supposed to be the future and they’re STILL using tablets.  Why on Earth would they need to open up the robot’s head?  The science is powerful weak and this is supposed to be sci-fi.  The visuals are there, where’s the writing?

The players can’t get hurt:  As a game, I couldn’t think of anything more boring.  That would be like playing Grand Theft Auto and making yourself indestructible.  There has to be a penalty for players who indiscriminately shoot and kill everything or else all they’re going to do is indiscriminately shoot and kill everything.  (After they’re done having sex with it, of course.)  And how could they really make it that safe?  People fell off horses and died back in the Wild West.  How do the robots not shoot the players, but shoot other robots?  We see bullets penetrate the robots.

Bad planning:  (Spoiler alert)  When one of the robots find something from “the future”, it causes him to malfunction.  Wouldn’t that always be a problem in the park?  I mean, you can tell people on vacation not to bring their cellphones and whatnot, but people on vacation are famous for not listening.  What’s to stop them from just ignoring the instructions and bringing whatever they want?  And if that’s going to be explained in a later episode, then it really should’ve been in the first one.

One Long Stall:  The TV series is just one long stall.  Once you get to the robots killing people, it’s over.  There’s hints in the first episode that there’s more to “the game” and “the company”, but that’s not really about the park.  Once you get outside the park, it’s really over.  Once you deal with the robot-that-wants-to-be-human issue, it’s over.  And allowing the robots to take over at all is a little like letting your PC jump up and steal your car.  It can’t happen because you can just switch it off, even in the unlikely event that it did.  How can the robots NOT have a switch?

I have to admit, I didn’t really go into this with open eyes.  My entire reaction is “Meh”.  There’s better sci-fi out there.  I recommend you see the movie.  It’s awesome.

 

└ Tags: 1973, bad, Ed Harris, future, gaming, good, Grand Theft Auto, players, rating, review, Richard Benjamin, robots, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, West World, WTF Did I Just Watch, Yul Brenner
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Dec16

Rewritten Headlines: Good Time to Bad Decisions

by tonyd on December 16, 2016 at 12:01 am

Good Time Costs Seven Years

Lex Luthor Really Phoning it in

Spoiled Kid Gets Drunk

Disguises Really Expensive Apparently

Site Hacked for Billions of Emails Tells You How to Avoid Scams

Mom to Make Everyone Uncomfortable

Guy Everyone Thought Was Guilty is Guilty

New York Showing Bums a Great Time

Real Doll Not So Real

1 in 5 Adults Get Way Too Drunk

└ Tags: bad decisions, breast feeding, bums, comedy, disguise, drunk, funny, good time, guilty, headlines, humor, Lex Luthor, mom, money, New York, News, North Korea, Rewritten Headlines, Super Frat, tattoos, Tony DiGerolamo, Yahoo
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Dec14

Twitter in Focus: Tom Rhodes

by tonyd on December 14, 2016 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is comedian Tom Rhodes.  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@_TomRhodes

December 6th:  “I’m beyond thrilled that my show in Antwerp tomorrow night is sold out. Can’t wait to get back to Hand Throw City!”  https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cy_BlvUWEAAo4i0.jpg:large

Man, that place is scenic.

December 6th:  “Art or atrocity? Only in The Netherlands is a gnome with a dildo considered art.”  https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CzAO5_zXEAAax3Z.jpg:large

Maybe it’s a bong.

December 11th:  “Greetings from the Spinoza statue in Amsterdam!”  https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CzaXv4OWEAAOxTg.jpg:large

Nice to be on the road sometimes.  Plus, you know, pot.

December 12th:  “Fantastic! I was sincere when I told you how much I loved Perth/Freo. Really great meeting you Leon! Thanks for coming to Antwerp my friend!”

All the way to Australia?  Wow, he really moves around.

December 12th:  “Bonjour Ana!”

That looks like “Bonjour Anal”.

December 12th:  “Thanks Smootihe! I hope comedy thunderbolts are shouting out of your mouth & destroying all the people!”

Either he’s talking to drinks or knows someone named after one.

December 12th:  “Lamb, feta & arugula pizza awaits us at Little Creatures brewery.”

Gyro pizza?  Can’t go wrong.

Okay, let’s rate Tom’s tweets.  Not lots of material, but plenty of touristy pics.  Not bad.  Tom also responds to fans that come to his show, which is nice.  I give Tom a 7 for Insanity, a 7 for Mustness and a 9 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 7.6.  Follow Tom.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus email me here.

└ Tags: Amsterdam, Antwerp, comedian, comedy, fans, funny, humor, on the road, pictures, pizza, Super Frat, Tom Rhodes, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
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Dec12

Ten Things I Expect Since U.S. Life Expectancy Has Fallen

by tonyd on December 12, 2016 at 12:01 am

Bad news.  Life expectancy in the U.S. is falling.  Here now are Ten Things I Expect now that we’re all going to die.

  1.  Jackass version of the X-Games.
  2.  Fried long pig added to McDonald’s menu.
  3.  New reality show based on The Purge movies.
  4.  Curbside corpse pick up included with trash pick up.
  5.  Futurama to license suicide booths.
  6.  Donald Trump to be re-elected.
  7.  Soylet Green shakes served in restaurants instead of water.
  8.  Lots of people to say, “Fuck recycling.”
  9.  Texted wills totally legal.
  10.  Finally, traffic dies down.
└ Tags: comedy, corpse pick up, funny, Futurama, humor, Jackass, list, lists, long pig, recycling, soylet green, Super Frat, Ten Things I Expect, The Purge movies, Tony DiGerolamo, top ten, traffic, U.S. Life Expectancy Falls, X-Games
Comments Off on Ten Things I Expect Since U.S. Life Expectancy Has Fallen
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