Tony D’s Rejected Comedy Samples: Greatest America Heroes During Vietnam
on August 24, 2013 at 12:01 amNot sure when I wrote this. I’m think it was around 2006, maybe earlier. I dunno. I was thinking I could maybe do some audio-only skits or something. But it’s pretty dated now and you’ll see why.
Great American Heroes during the Vietnam Conflict:
Volume 1: George W. Bush
MUSIC: Heroic, uplifting music
NARRATOR
The History Station proudly presents, Great American
Heroes during the Vietnam Conflict. This week,
we look at the record of another great American
hero, George W. Bush. We take you back to the
days of the Vietnam Conflict. Texas, May 1st,
1972. A young man who will one day be president,
writes home.
SFX: Sound of writing on paper and Vietnam sounds.
GEORGE W.
(in earnest, worried)
Dear Mom and Dad. Everywhere I look, I am
reminded of Vietnam. The jungles, the machine
gun fire, the screaming civilians, the blood of
American service men…I don’t know why they
show this stuff on TV.
SFX: Clicks off TV, Vietnam sounds abruptly stop.
GEORGE W.
Conflict is Hell. It sure is as hot as Hell here
that’s for sure. It’s worse in the mornings. It takes
about 20 minutes for the air-conditioners to kick in.
Not that I’m complaining. I’m sure dad had it
much worse when he was a pilot. They were real
men back then during the Great War. I’ll bet his
commander didn’t yell at him for taking an Igloo
full of Heinekin on a jet.
NARRATOR
Relieve the events of a true American hero through
his own words…
GEORGE W.
When I see all the hippies and beatniks tearing up
their draft cards it sickens me. I was so upset today,
I nearly left the mall before I finished my shopping.
NARRATOR
Yes, the Vietnam Era was a turbulent time in
our nation’s history, but throughout it all, one
man sailed through it unscathed!
GEORGE W.
It gets so dark here at night, mom and dad.
I can barely see my own beer in front of my
face!
NARRATOR
George W. Bush, one of the great heroes of
Vietnam!
SFX: Snorting coke.
GEORGE W.
Oh, yeah. That’s good.
