Yo, bros! Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is one of the funniest guys every to utter a funny thing out of his funny hole, Horatio Sanz! Let’s see if his tweets are just as funny.
July 3rd: “BOOO!!! RT @starship629: @MrHoratioSanz your pic makes u look like ur auditing for pablo escobars gay brother… Pablo escortcock”
Well, Horatio sure knows a funny line when he sees it.
July 3rd: “I do. Do you want it?RT @KristieBeth506: @MrHoratioSanz do you have Fallons number in your phone? ahah”
Sure. I’ve blocked it enough.
July 3rd: “Jimmy# 646 867-5309”
Dammit. Now he’s going to change it and call me again! Awkward.
July 3rd: “Oh SHIT!!!”
I posted Jay Leno’s phone #, but no one called.
July 3rd: “Make NEW mistakes. RT @KennicotAsks:@MrHoratioSanz Knowing what you know now,what advice would you give to yourself if it were 15 years ago?”
My advice: Don’t kill yourself trying to catch an episode of Seinfeld. Believe me, it will be on again and again and again…
July 3rd: “This weird Alien is a model for Hanes socks. http://lockerz.com/s/116759595”
Oo, the new socks from Ambermutant & Finch are here.
July 3rd: “I climbed to the Hollywood sign, listening to King Of Limbs. Then I drove to Orange county and ate a Portillo’s BIG BEEF. Happy July 3rd.”
Nice.
July 3rd: “You forgot???RT @JackiePizz: Titanic is on AMC again. Every time I see it I want to fuck in a car on a boat. Why haven’t we done that yet?”
Damn, Horatio gets all the ladies.
July 4th: “Disappointed that the FIREWORKS trailer didn’t sell hand grenades. #Happy?4th”
We all are. Like all Americans, we can’t get enough exploding. Someday the NRA will make our dream a reality.
20 hours ago: “Driving to Vegas on July 4th. The way Benjamin Franklin would have, had he known there was ever such a place.”
As he famously said, “Someday in America there will be a place where a man can get breakfast, blackjack and a blowjob all for under $100.”
7 hours ago: “Somewhere, Lou Reed is trying to “figure out his cell phone.””
And the cellphone goes, “Doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo, doo, doo-doo…”
7 hours ago: “Weird shit. RT @GriffLightning: @MrHoratioSanz I think Lou already has this cell phone shit locked down: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGZBk_z7a6Y”
Holy shit, that’s a real thing.
6 hours ago: “Gross. RT @jakefogelnest: @MrHoratioSanz Actually, Lou Reed has the whole social networking thing figured out:”
That craft old geezer.
Okay, let’s rate Horatio’s tweets. He’s got a good mix of interesting and funny. And he interacts with some other funny people as well. If his twitter were a stock, I’d invest now. I give him a 10 for Mustness (geez, don’t you got a job Horatio) an 8 for Insanity and a 9 for Style. Overall, that’s a 9. Definitely put him on the follow list.
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