Hey Bros!  Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is English comedian, Jimmy Carr.  (Former host of that Comedy Central game show where they smash the prizes if you get the answer wrong.)  He’s funny and his twitter is hilarious.  Let’s take a look.

August 3rd:  “Price of gold is so high, the only reason the government want medals at the Olympics is so they can go straight in an envelope to Cash4Gold”

Considering what’s happening in London right now, they might have to settle for bronze or tin.

August 3rd:  “People have been left open-mouthed at the record price of gold. And that’s because they’re checking their fillings.”

Do people still do that?  I need to know if I need pliers for the coming collapse of society.

August 4th:  “A policewoman was caught on Total Wipeout when she was supposed to be off sick. To be fair, there’s definitely something wrong with her.”

I think they should let her do the final course.  If she makes it without falling once, she gets to keep her job.  Now THAT’S a show.

August 4th:  “Scientists have used a controversial cloning technique to create a beagle that glows in the dark. A belisha beagle?”

That’s controversial?  Call me when they start cloning whores.

August 4th:  “There will be 4 McDonalds at the new Olympic park. Which is great news for Paula Radcliffe as now she’ll have somewhere to relieve herself.”

What a perfect combo.  While you watch the best athletes on Earth you can damage your heart.

August 5th:  “Scientists have finally identified exactly what The Elephant Man had. He wouldn’t mind jokes about him, very thick skinned.”

And he worked for peanuts.

August 5th:  “British Gas have posted profits of 1.3 billion yet say they need to increase their prices. ‘Smell bullshit? Then phone this number now…’”

You had me at British Gas.

August 5th:  “Around 900 children a day attack or verbally abuse their teachers. Who are the teachers suppose to run and tell?”

I was a substitute teacher.  We called the hall monitor, AKA: The Enforcer.

August 6th:  “Beer has only just been classified as an alcoholic drink in Russia. What was it before? Baby formula?”

No, that’s vodka.

August 6th:  “The cryogenics pioneer has died and been frozen along with both his wives. I bet when he gets defrosted, his wives won’t.”

Legally, it is “at death do us part”.  I smell future reality series.

August 6th:  “Researchers say Agatha Christie was the first Brit to surf standing up. I always wondered whodunit.”

I’m sure “surf” means “eating crumpets” or “drinking tea” in the UK.

August 6th:  “Research has shown Agatha Christie was the first Brit to surf standing up. It also shows we’ve run out of things to research.”

Little known fact: Sherlock Holmes was the first Brit to use a boogie board.

August 7th:  “Nato has bombed Libya’s satellite TV transmitters. Gaddaffi is livid. He wanted to watch Tool Academy.”

I had never heard of that show.  Damn you for telling me about it.  There is no God.

August 7th:  “Nintendo bosses are cutting their pay after a bad year. They know the rules, if you don’t pick up enough gold coins, you don’t get a bonus.”

Yeah, right.  Meanwhile, Mario lives on his own PRIVATE ISLAND.  It’s all about Mario.

13 Hours ago:  “Aug1892 Thomas Edison invents the two way telegraph. It would have been a real ‘lightbulb’ moment but he hadn’t got round to that yet.”

You have to admire a good Thomas Edison joke.

11 Hours ago:  “The new Superman is British. He’s incredibly strong and faster than a locomotive. But he’s still claiming sickness benefit.”

“Pardon, Mr. Green Goblin, would you be so kind as to stop trying to kill me?  There’s a good fellow.”

9 Hours ago:  “I just read a thing saying the new Spiderman is mixed race. Yeah, he’s half man, half spider.”

Oh, Marvel Comics, you’ll do anything to beef up your stock numbers.  I can’t wait for Jewish Thor and Chinese Captain America.

Okay, let’s rate Jimmy’s tweets.  I cut out a few I didn’t understand because they had some very English references.  But overall, Jimmy is really bringing his A-game on the tweets.  No plugs, relentless jokes.  Even with those regional jokes, this is one to follow bros.  I give him a 7 for Style, 9 for Mustness and 10 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 8.6

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