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Dec28

Rewritten Headlines: Last Full Moon to Supreme Court

by tonyd on December 28, 2012 at 12:01 am

Werewolves Celebrate New Year’s Early

Rich People Pretend Justice System Can Touch Them

Woman With Large Breasts Somehow Newsworthy

Fictional Events More Important That Sex to Some

Jammies Comfy, Most Say

Masturbater Retires

Man Steals Bones That He Could’ve Dug Up for Free

Scumbag Gets Caught

Actress Lines Up Next Ex Husband

Rich and Powerful Man Gets Awesome Medical Coverage

Casual Banging Okay With Judgmental Old People

└ Tags: 700, bones, comedy, contraception, current events, dinosaur, fanboys, fines, FINRA, fossils, funny, George H.W. Bush, Hideki Matsui, humor, jammies, Jessica Simpson, Kate Winslet, Moon, naked, News, Newtown scam, parody, Rewritten Headlines, Rewritten News, sleeping, Spiderman, Super Frat. Tony DiGerolamo, Supreme Court
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Dec26

Twitter in Focus: Craig Robinson

by tonyd on December 26, 2012 at 1:17 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is actor/comedian Craig Robinson of The Office, Pineapple Express and Hot Tub Time Machine.  He’s a funny actor, let’s see if he’s a funny tweeter.

@MrCraigRobinson

November 18th:  “Somebody gimme a caption for this pic.twitter.com/H1MlJJop”

Elmo loves Midget Bowling.

November 18th:  “Okay okay!! Y’all crazy!! Thank u. Porkchop bellyflop’s was my favorite. Go Bears (2marra vs 9ers) “(That was “Sesame Street After Dark: Midget Bar Edition”)

Finally, an adult Muppet show.  It was bound to happen and the Playboy channel needs content.

November 18th:  “Who can guess what #1 team in the nation these girls are on?? Hint: they won the PAC 12 this wknd pic.twitter.com/SvxHjrUC ”

Man, you gotta do a lot of work to follow Craig’s tweets.

November 18th:  “Okay sooooo….I didn’t realize I tweeted the answer!! (is this where I would hash tag fail?) I love you”

If I knew any sports or gambled more, it probably would be easy.

November 19th:  “At tha game. End of 3rd. Let’s do this pic.twitter.com/tkvVXA4O”

Nice.  But my question is, when is Hot Tube Time Machine II happening?

November 19th:  “Night’s not a total loss….I ate a churro!!!!”

And it probably only cost $16 at the stadium.

November 19th:  “HaHa!!! Niners won!! I get TWO free tacos!! Jokes on you Frisco haha!! pic.twitter.com/eOq772iM”

When free tacos happen, it’s always a good night.

November 22nd:  “Happy Thanksgiving friends!! ”

How does a famous acting celebrity spend his holiday, I wonder.

November 25th:  “Ahh-choo!!! http://instagr.am/p/ScdpWlvILz/”

Apparently, slowly accumulating germs.

December 15th:  “Fox Holiday pahtay…wit @thejohndimaggio a.k.a Bender pic.twitter.com/wUlnNLAW”

Hey, John doesn’t need that pahtay.  He’s gonna start his own.  With hookers and blackjack.  In fact, forget the pahtay and blackjack.

December 16th:  “What’s happenin!!! pic.twitter.com/T9zYfO4O”

Dwayne lives!

8 hours ago:  “Merry Christmas!!! ”

Well, Craig doesn’t tweet consistently, but at least he remembers his fans during the holidays.

Let’s rate Craig’s tweets.  I’m liking his pictures and the interaction with the fans.  I give him a 6 for Mustness, an 8 for Insanity and a 1o for Style.  That’s an overall score of 8.  Follow Craig.  He’s fun.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: actor, comedian, comedy, Craig Robinson, funny, Hot Tub Time Machine, humor, Pineapple Express, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
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Dec24

Ten Holiday Specials You’ll Never See

by tonyd on December 24, 2012 at 12:01 am

1. How the Drone Killed Santa

2.  The Year No One Bought a Bunch of Useless Shit

3.  Scrooge Meets the Cast of the Jersey Shore

4.  Frosty the Racist

5.  How the Little Drummer Boy Got Sued by Metallica

6.  A Very Twilight Christmas

7.  Merry Christmas, Charlie Sheen!

8.  It’s a Wonderful Life Insurance Policy

9.  Rudolf and the Island of Chinese Lead-Based Painted Toys

10.  How the Grinch Stole Justin Bieber’s Virginity

└ Tags: Charlie Sheen, comedy, Frosty, funny, holiday specials, humor, Jersey Shore, Justin Bieber, list, Metallica, names, parody, Rudolf, Santa, Scrooge, specials, Super Frat, ten, Ten Holiday Special You'll Never See, Ten Things You'll Never See, Tony DiGerolamo
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Dec23

Your Christmas Fratoscope

by tonyd on December 23, 2012 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  Sucks to be you.  You will once again not get as many gifts as you would if you were born in August.

Aries:  Your PS3 will come with the body of a dead Elf.  Apparently, he got caught in the gift wrapping machine and no one noticed.

Taurus:  Once again, you’ll spend the day after Christmas cleaning reindeer shit out of your gutters.

Gemini:  The stars say, if Christmas is that overwhelming to you, maybe it’s time to consider another religion.  Most Hindus don’t have a mental breakdown shopping in Target on December.

Lemini:  Either you were really bad or your cookies are tainted because Santa takes a shit in your stocking.

Cancer:  Your snowman will come to life and demand you cover him on your healthcare.

Leo:  Your attempt to buy all your family’s gift in the same store will fail, as the gas station minimart only has so much stuff to sell.

Virgo:  You will either be given a very realistic looking stuffed animal or your boyfriend will wrap the puppy he got for you way too tight.

Libra:  You will finally get the zombie apocalypse kit you’ve always wanted.  Now it’s a waiting game.

Scorpio:  Once again, you’ll go on a shopping spree at the dildo shop in an attempt to use up last year’s gift certificate.

Sagittarius:  You will find Santa banging your roommate. The mystery of why she gets so many gifts each year has been solved.

Capricorn:  You will be visited by three ghosts.  They will all try to sell you on insurance.

Aquarius:  This week, you will be filled with the Christmas spirit or as you like to call it, “Meth”.

Pisces:  You’ll hit the Christmas Krampus with your car.  Now you’ll have to take care of the horrible children he was carrying.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, Chirstmas, comedy, frat boy, funny, Gemini, Holiday, horoscope, humor, Krampus, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
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