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Say It With Pants
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College Brain Surgery
A Dick in Time
Feb09

Ten Jobs Zombies Could Probably Do

by tonyd on February 9, 2013 at 12:01 am

1.  Janitor (Assuming the zombie wasn’t bleeding all over the place, you could just tie brooms to its feet.)

2.  Prison Guard (As long as they’re on the outside of the cell block, what prisoner would risk an escape?)

3.  Dog Walker (They would need a muzzle, but the dog would gets lots of exercise.)

4.  Survivor Finder (When there’s an Earthquake, a zombie on a leash could find fresh brains, fast!)

5.  Sherpa  (Why should you carry all that gear, when your zombie is available?)

6.  Lawn Mower (Assuming there’s nothing else other than grass to run over with the push mower, chain the zombie to a post in the lawn and let him go round and round.)

7.  Carnie (It’s just not that hard to run the bumper cars.)

8.  Archery Range Arrow Retriever (Don’t worry, he can do his job while you’re shooting.)

9.  Car Alarm (No one is going to steal your car if there’s a zombie in it.)

10.  Firefighter (Just tie dozens of water balloons around him and send him in.)

└ Tags: comedy, funny, humor, jobs, list, Super Frat, ten, Ten Things You'll Never See, Tony DiGerolamo, Top Ten Videos of Cute, zombies
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Feb08

Rewriten Headlines: Richard III to Magic Johnson

by tonyd on February 8, 2013 at 12:01 am

Family Argues Over Old Corpse

Facebook Functioning Normally

Cop Might Lose Pension

Weather Makes News

Company Too Successful

Americans Realizing It’s Too Damned Hot

Whales Launch Surprise Attack

Older Women to Expose Breasts Less

Researcher States Obvious to Fatties

Deadly Kill Bots Mentioned as Possible Thing That’s Important

McDonald’s Scouting Out New Locations

Man Urges Government to Cure Him Faster

└ Tags: blizzard, chase, climate change, comedy, current events, Drones, funny, humor, LAPD, Magic Johnson, Mamograms, NASA, News, Rewritten Headlines, Rewritten News, Richard III, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, whales
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Feb06

Twitter in Focus: Rob Lowe

by tonyd on February 6, 2013 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is Rob Lowe.  Actor, sex tape star and hilarious host of SNL.  Let’s see what he’s been tweeting.

@RobLowe

February 2nd:  “People ask “how can I tell if a movie has good direction?” Silver Linings Playbook is MADE by great direction. Pitch perfect.”

It really was.  Have to agree.

February 2nd:  “Steely Dan in the gym. So old. So great. #LayDownTheLawThenBreakIt”

Ah, yes.  That used to be my favorite make out CD.

February 3rd:  “Wow. These Superbowl commercials are just terrible.”

Y’know, I was flipping back and forth from cartoon reruns on Fox and I have to agree.  Talk about overhype.

February 3rd:  “When you have 2 weeks to prep, then come out in an illegal formation, it’s a very bad sign. #SuperBowl”

Yep.

February 3rd:  “Ah, the City That Care Forgot.”

Baltimore?  Hmm, probably.

February 3rd:  “Are the Niners in charge of the lights? #SuperBowl #NotPrepared”

I blame Jerry.

February 3rd:  “What a mess. Time to check the Puppy Bowl. #SuperBowl #Boo”

The puppy bowl is fun to watch.

February 3rd:  “John Harbaugh being introduced to network suit double talk on the sideline. #SuperBowl”

At least he won’t get that during the parade in Baltimore.

February 3rd:  “Now THAT Subway ad takes the cake. And eats it. For the WORST EVER.”

To me, Subway is aptly named because their bread tastes like the subway floor.

February 3rd:  “There it is. #Bud”

Damn, you watch all the bowls.

February 3rd:  “God made a farmer. Yes. Not hip, no gimmicks. Not trying to be funny. Just great. #SuperBowl”

I do not get that one.

Okay, let’s rate Rob’s tweets.  Well, I think Rob and I see eye to eye on several things.  Would like to hear more about P&R, but hey, he wasn’t shooting in the last two days I guess.  As I read the tweets, I am reading them in his character voice on the show.  I give him an 8 for Style, a 9 for Insanity and a 10 for Mustness.  That’s an overall score of 9.  And if you haven’t seen Rob host SNL back in the day, it’s one of the funniest episodes ever. Follow Rob.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: actor, bud, celebrity, comedy, funny, host, humor, Parks and Recreation, puppy bowl, Rob Lowe, sex tape, SNL, star, Super Bowl, Super Frat, television, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
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Feb04

The Walk Show: Return of the Hot Dog

by tonyd on February 4, 2013 at 12:01 am

Tony D is back at the Cool Dog Cafe to see if his friend can beat him in the hot dog eating challenge.

└ Tags: comedy, Contest, Cool Dog Cafe, eating, eating contest, funny, humor, Return of the Hot Dog, Super Frat, The Walk Show, Tony DiGerolamo
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