Super Frat

Nov26

Twitter in Focus: Chris Franjola

by tonyd on November 26, 2014 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is comedian, Chris Franjola. He’s funny on Chelsea lately, let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@ChrisFranjola

November 24th: “Just texted a dick pic to the Butterball hotline.”

Well, everyone needs a Thanksgiving Day tradition.

November 24th: “I am on Long Island on this week @ComedyGovs: Wed Nov 26 @ 8pm @ The Brokerage Bellmore for tix call 516 781 5233 or http://tickets.brokeragecomedy.com/event.cfm?id=352764 …”

Hope you enjoy. That’s where traffic begins in the U.S. You’ll be stuck on the L.I.E. til Spring.

21 hours ago: “Let’s not forget that Dancing With The Stars is on.”

Which makes only with…

19 hours ago: “America http://instagram.com/p/vz4Tb5FOuM/ ”

Yeah, that’s pretty much the news. “…and the children were brutally murdered…. Up next, puppies!”

17 hours ago: “Oh no- poor girl RT @THR: Ferguson: CNN Reporter Sara Sidner Hit by a Rock Live on Air http://thr.cm/cM1vgJ ”

I don’t know what’s worse. That it happened or that I watched a commercial to wait for the video to load to see it.

17 hours ago: “The bottom line here – @CNN and everything else aside- Two people lost their son – be a fucking human being.”

Human? But…ratings!

17 hours ago: “So maybe he was a rambunctious teenager – who wasn’t? Should he be dead? Something has gone wrong. Can’t we agree on that?”

Yeah, I think so too.

16 hours ago: “”Phew- Thanks Ferguson” – Bill Cosby”

Now’s his chance to retire and disappear, but he won’t.

16 hours ago: “I just think the world would be a better place if we didn’t shoot each other in the street. I could be wrong. Peace”

Exactly.

3 hours ago: “Dear Long Island – Not Rain, sleet, snow, rioting, traffic, will keep me from the show for tix call 516 781 5233 or http://tickets.brokeragecomedy.com/event.cfm?id=352764 …”

That’s all designed to keep you in once you’re stuck. Why do you think people live there?

3 hours ago; “Thanks coconut water: now I know what it’s like to blow an Almond Joy.”

Ugh. Gross.

Okay, let’s rate Chris’s tweets. A good bit of material here, which I like. Not much behind-the-scenes. Plugs, but also funny plugs. I give him an 8 for Mustness, a 9 for Insanity and a 9 for Style. That’s an overall score of 8.6. Follow Chris.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

└ Tags: Chelsea Lately, Chris Franjola, CNN, comedian, comedy, Ferguson, funny, humor, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus

1 Comment

Nov24

Fratty or Not Fratty with Pledgemaster Dick

by tonyd on November 24, 2014 at 12:01 am

Your pledgemaster may not have a degree or a major or anything resembling a sensible GPA. But he is the pledgemaster and from his chair of beer cans he passes judgement upon you!

Rudy Giuliani: Not Fratty

I think “America’s Mayor” was always kind of a dickhead. His recent rant is just icing on the cake. Never fratty. Ever.

The Weather: Fratty, but Fucked

What the Hell weather? 70 degrees in November. Don’t tease me like this! It’s like being at the strip club without money!

Uber: Fairly Fratty

Hey, you ever take a cab? I’d take my chances any day of the week to save five bucks. What the Hell cabbies? Like I’d know if you’re the cabbie or the serial killer that just murdered you.

Shit Bus: Fratty

There’s a bus in the U.K. powered by poop. Oh, glorious science, thank you!

Robot Cops: Not So Fratty

It’s already had enough for me to talk my way out of a parking ticket. I’m not a chick. I don’t have cleavage to flash. Well, I do, but who wants to see that? I’m against these robots. That’s just what the dean would love to have on campus watching me!

The Hunger Games: Not Fratty

I’m so sick of this movie and I bailed after the first one. I don’t think even Jennifer Lawrence boobs could save it.

Bill Cosby: Not Fratty

WTF, Jello Pudding? How many more women are going to come out? What makes it worse, I always thought he was always so high and mighty.

Scientists: Fratty

Oh, what? We can’t wear shirts now? You gotta be fucking kidding me. One hipster scientist wears a shirt you don’t like and you go bananas ladies? Jesus Christ, get a grip.

Delta Tau Delta: Fratty

Honoring a deceased bro with charity fundraiser is classy, bros. Very classy. After so much negative press about frats this week, it’s good to hear something nice.

└ Tags: Bill Cosby, comedy, Delta Tau Delta, Fratty or Not Fratty, funny, humor, movie, Pledgemaster Dick, Robot Cops, Rudy Giuliani, scientists, shirt, Shit Bus, Super Frat, The Hunger Games, Tony DiGerolamo, U.K., Uber, weather

1 Comment

Nov23

Your Thanksgiving Fratoscope

by tonyd on November 23, 2014 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week: As always, your birthday gifts will be thrown into a heap while your family gorges themselves on turkey. Sorry.

Aries: You’ll realize that there are no sandwich Elves, you just like to get really high right around lunch time.

Taurus: Having your youngest cousin stuff the turkey turns out to be a bad idea unless you like stuffing made of Matchbox cars.

Gemini: For your behavior the previous year, you’ll be demoted to the kids table and not be allowed to drink.

Lemini: You will meet the love of your life on a stroll around your block, unless you live in Buffalo. In that case, you’ll watch a news story about someone freezing to death in the snow.

Cancer: Your car keys are in your other jacket.

Leo: The stars say, carve the turkey, don’t stab it and scream, “Die! Die! Die!”

Virgo: One of your guests becomes severely injured at the table, mostly for suggesting to serve ham next year.

Libra: Your turkey is raptured and you’re all forced to go to McDonald’s.

Scorpio: It turns out your invite was really to stuff an actual turkey, not a sexual suggestion. You’ll be forced to put all your S&M gear back in your car.

Sagittarius: You’ll pass a town ordinance forbidding Christmas decorations until after this week and will be unanimously re-elected to mayor.

Capricorn: This week, you’ll realize you cannot deep fry a turkey using the trunk of your car as the pot, but you can get your trunk lining extra crispy.

Aquarius: Your pilgrim guests will be offended by everything you do and especially your buckleless hats.

Pisces: You will reconnect with the medical staff that pumps your stomach after dinner every year. They’re doing well.