Feb10

Rewritten Headlines: Awesome Job to Just Another Japanese Thing

by tonyd on February 10, 2017 at 12:01 am

Awesome Job Available

More Bullshit Happens in D.C.

Couple Not Ready for Marriage

Animal Walks Through Paint Probably

Batman Reincarnated

Pungent Sound

Worst Thing in the World Happens to Man

Normal People Sick of Famous People

Footloose Comes to Life

Bible Gets Sequel

Impulse Buy Becomes News

Gross Cheese Even More Gross Than Thought

Japan Still Weird

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Feb08

Twitter in Focus: The National Security Agency

by tonyd on February 8, 2017 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is the NSA!  What’s more hilarious?  They’re watching us, it’s time we watched them.

@NSAGov

January 30th:  “300K followers & growing, thanks for following ! : Defending Our Nation & Allies, Securing the Future.”

Why not just forcibly add everyone?  I mean, you are watching everyone anyway.

February 2nd:  “NSA remembers & Hall of Honor inductee Ralph W. Adams Jr. for his lifelong dedication & service. ”

Hall of Honor?  Is that like some kind of secret hall that no taxpayer can visit?  Does it have a large plaque at each exhibit with half the description redacted?

February 2nd:  “On Feb 2, 1462, Johannes Trithemius was born. He was a lexicographer, chronicler, cryptographer & occultist. ”

Did he oppress the people of the Middle Ages with constant surveillance?

February 3rd:  “ scientist & PECASE award recipient, Dr. Josiah Dykstra, featured in hometown newspaper, . ”

Shouldn’t you guys be more, I don’t know, SECRET?

February 6th:  “. alum & cryptanalyst Sara Taylor shares how her alma mater influenced her career choice. ”

You guys realize you don’t work at Dunder Mifflin, right?  Why are you acting like a bunch of corporate cubicle jockeys?

February 6th:  “Will you be the first to solve today’s Puzzle? ”

Why the fuck is my tax dollars paying for an online puzzle game?

11 hours:  “ Executive Director Corin Stone discusses NSA21, diversity, & more in Cyberlaw Podcast. Listen here: ”

So glad the NSA is diverse.  I wouldn’t want to be constantly surveilled only by white guys.

Okay, let’s rate the NSA’s tweets.  I give them an 8 for Mustness, a 1 for Style and a 9 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 6.  Follow the NSA.  It’ll be just that faster for them to catalog you.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

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Feb06

Movies You Missed: Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies and Cyber Attacks

by tonyd on February 6, 2017 at 12:01 am

While not the greatest documentary you’ll ever see, Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies and Cyber Attacks does provide some interesting and new information on the hack and its consequences. I just barely recommend this movie because of that. It’s actual construction is a bit clunky and cheap.

The documentary crew does interview users of the site, although not in much depth. It’s hard to empathize with them because they were, afterall, cheating on a spouse or with someone that was cheating. These interviews are full of rationalizations. The most interesting part is the CEO of Ashley Madison and the company that built the site.

The company wasn’t just doing this site, it was doing a bunch of other sites. Some of them were porn related and a few others were for escorts. One site was for Sugar Daddies and it was pretty close to an escort site. It was almost like they were mainstreaming prostitution like Girls Gone Wild mainstreamed porn.

The documentary doesn’t really expose who did the hack. There’s not much evidence who it was and he or she was never caught. The company’s cyber security was incredibly weak. The final and best interview is with a guy who had his life ruined by the site.

Not the best documentary, but it’s short and there is enough interesting tidbits to sit through. A weak thumbs up. It is currently running on Netflix. Full disclosure: one of my editors, Gina Smith, appears in the movie. I worked for her at ANewDomain.net.

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Feb05

Your Super Bowl Fratoscope

by tonyd on February 5, 2017 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  STFU until the game is over!  Who cares how old you are!

Aries:  You’ll face a lot of heartbreak and strife this week, mainly because you’re a Falcons fan.

Taurus:  Your three bean dip will be the source for many stinky farts and several nasty sharts, so put down some plastic over your couch.

Gemini:  You’ll discover that no matter how close you get to the TV, you can’t tell if Brady deflated the ball or not.

Lemini:  This year, you’ll spend less time masturbating during the half time show, mostly because of all the people in the room that are watching the game with you.

Cancer:  You’ll discover that guacamole is a poor projectile to throw at the ref on your TV.

Leo:  You’ll realize that your bet on the Patriots isn’t valid, because that guy you met in a Subway isn’t a licensed bookie or wallet inspector.

Virgo:  Your attempt to call Tom Brady to tell him to do a lateral pass is met with voice mail again.

Libra:  Your attempt to upstage Gaga’s half time show by wearing meat goes over well.

Scorpio:  After many years, your porn watching is actually slowing down the Internet by 1%, give your genitals a rest.

Sagittarius:  You’ll find yourself peeing in a trough, then realize you’re home in your living room and that you have to pee trough in your house.

Capricorn:  Your guests will notice that your nachos are nothing but nacho-shaped piece of cardboard.

Aquarius:  The stars say, 21-17 Patriots over the Falcons.

Pisces:  You’ll be able to run all your errands with no traffic whatsoever.

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