Super Frat

Hey bros! Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die. Today’s tweeter is a hottie screenwriter named Caprice. She’s the daughter of Ginger from Gilligan’s Island and we can see where she gets her good looks. Let’s see if her tweets are as interesting as her pics.

October 1st: “I’ve only been in Toronto for 4 hours and I’ve already gotten into 3 hockey fights & let William Shatner get to 2nd base.”

What? He didn’t seal the deal? Man, Shat must finally be getting old.

October 1st: “I’m glad Heidi and Spencer called off their divorce. It’s easier to not care about them as a couple than individually.”

I’m glad I have barely an idea of who you’re talking about.

October 2nd: “So much in life would benefit from a good, hard CTRL+ALT+DELETE.”

I didn’t realize you were such a fan of the webcomic.

October 4th: “”Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Gets A PG-13 Rating.” Hermione’s boobs say, “What’s up?””

She is very cute. An excellent point. Can’t argue. If only her boobs had her own Twitter, we’d know more.

October 4th: “”Verizon to give refunds to millions.” Can you hear them now, AT&T?”

Sadly, I don’t think this is going to improve reception.

October 4th: “The thing about reality stars is they don’t get that we’re not laughing *with* them.”

Ouch. Me-ow, Caprice.

October 7th: “Just ’cause I’ve been in computer hell, doesn’t stop my dog Max from answering your latest questions: http://bit.ly/bkLRL4 Ask Max!”

Cute. We sometimes do the same thing here at Super Frat, only with a cactus.

October 7th: “”Octomom accused of hiding tons of cash.” Presumably in her womb.”

How can a woman with 8 kids have any cash? Or time to hide it?

October 8th: “”Jealous Woman Attacks Kim Kardashian.” I would have tweeted this earlier, but was confirming my alibi…”

You don’t have to be jealous of her, Caprice. I mean, you could probably afford to upgrade your rack if you wanted. Do you really want to be top heavy? Sure, it works great as a flotation device, but you’ll have to hold books at least elbow length away to see them.

October 9th: “Taking my mom to Comic Con today… That’ll teach her for dressing me in that plaid ensemble when I was 5.”

If you really want to punish her, leave with one of the fanboys.

October 10th: “Who’s gonna be the one to tell old people that you don’t have to yell when you’re talking on a cell phone? Not it.”

Look, just be happy they’re using something manufactured after 1984. My mother’s still waiting for newspapers to make a comeback.

October 10th: “”Justin Bieber Designs Glittery Nail Polish Collection.” Just like Kurt Cobain did.”

I’m sure that means absolutely nothing. Why it’s perfectly normal for straight men to do that.

October 11th: “Have you ever considered that Cupid might have really lousy aim?”

Of course he does. He has tiny little baby arms. And he’s really packed it on since he stopped working out.

October 11th: “”Justin Bieber wishes he could go back to having a ‘normal’ life.” He said so as he wiped his tears with $100 bills.”

Also with tiny little baby arms.

October 12th: “”Celebrities Particularly Susceptible to Bed Bugs, Experts Say.” Clearly, the insects want their 15 minutes too.”

I think you’re watching way too much TMZ, Caprice. If that is in fact you’re real fake name.

October 12th: “Traffic is the earth’s way of giving us the finger.”

No, those are volcanoes.

October 12th: “This wasn’t embarrassing at all: http://bit.ly/b4ITuV”

Maybe you need this.

October 12th: “First Chilean miner, Florencio Avalos, rescued. Rachel Uchitel and Oksana Grigorieva are already fighting over him.”

Watching those guys get rescued was way better than the oil spill. I wonder what the ratings were.

October 13th: “TSA chick at this airport just talked through my entire patdown and totally ruined the mood. Just let it happen, lady.”

Hopefully it wasn’t like this.

October 13th: “Christine O’Donnell: “What I think is irrelevant.” Waaaay ahead of you, Christine.”

It’s going to be a sad day for comedy when she loses the election. Like when Dan Quayle or W left the White House.

October 14th: “What separates me from many convicted criminals is quite likely caffeine.”

And toilet wine.

October 14th: “To make small talk interesting, stare inquisitively at one spot on the person’s face until they self-consciously touch it.”

Or, you can light yourself on fire.

October 15th: “Christine O’Donnell: “I’ve got Sean Hannity in my back pocket.” Well, of course. She transformed him into a toad.”

Wow, Christine made Sean her bitch. I thought only Karl Rove got to do that.

October 15th: “Jon Gosselin: “I’ll Forever Have Guilt for Putting My Kids on TV” …and for spending their college fund on hookers & blow.”

Yeah, like the wife should get “Mother of the Year”. Hey, look it’s better to put your money in commodities anyway.

October 16th: “Perhaps the problem is not that people are bad listeners… but you are, in fact, phenomenally boring. ”

What?

October 17th: “People in L.A. really shouldn’t get so freaked out every time it rains. Plastic is water-resistant.”

They are really bad drivers out there. An inch of snow would probably kill half the drivers.

October 18th: “They say the only people who tell the truth are children and drunks, but get a child drunk and you’re in for some whoppers.”

I’m just going to throw this out there. More topless photos on your site. Lots of traffic. Think about it.

7 hours ago: “Hey, Hispanic Newscasters – Quit showing off when you pronounce your name.”

What are they suppose to do? Mispronounce it? That would be weird.

Okay, let’s rate the lovely Caprice. I have to give her a 7 for Insanity, 9 for Mustness and, of course, a 10 for Style. That’s an overall score of 8.6. Not bad. Worth following. If you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.