Tony D with a special message.
Tony D with a special message.
Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today’s contestant co-created one of the funniest shows on Comedy Central, The Dave Chapelle Show. No, it’s not Dave Chapelle, but the man behind the scenes, Neal Brennan. Let’s see if his tweet match up to his legendary show.
June 12th: “My brother is the wrong, violent type.”
Was that this guy?
June 12th: “When someone on Facebook says, “Thanks for the add,” I immediately regret having added them.”
Fine! Then I’m rescinding my Mafia Wars invite. Happy?!
June 12th: “If you want to avoid a sexting scandal, do what I do and send pics of other guys dicks w/ the caption, “Mine in similar.””
Yeah, but if you’re already lying about your dick size and doing that, it could really complicate things.
June 12th: “”Green Lantern” looks like a crappy dream Ryan Reynolds wouldn’t be that excited to have had.”
Yeah, do they ever ask any ugly people to save the world?
June 12th: “Facebook has severely devalued the Happy Birthday wish.”
Just as Twitter has devalued the “I want a divorce” discussion.
June 12th: “LeBron to take his talents to Shut Your Mouth Beach.”
Ha!
June 13th: “Postal Rates: $11 for overnight delivery plus $55 parking ticket cuz of how long it takes to navigate the mailing process.”
Probably cheaper to drive your package to Jersey and mail it there then.
23 hours ago: “Chicago People: We hang this Friday? http://fb.me/CUmMIAdh http://say.ly/grupC4”
C’mon, Chicago bros, check out his show!
23 hours: “CNN: Astrologists find two gaping black holes in nearby galaxy. Name them Kim and Khloe. #bang”
Okay, I’ll say it, Chapelle was a dumbass.
22 hours ago: “A guy standing in front of his crying girlfriend is exactly as powerless as a girl standing in front of her smoking car.”
And both are usually responsible for the condition of the other.
22 hours ago: “A young girl dying from disease tweeted me. Her last wish is to get #whitepeoplefeetsmelllike trending. Help her.”
Well, she’s dying. The law says we have to do it.
20 hours ago: “CHICAGO people. Are you a little light on cash? Thursday do anything for you? http://ow.ly/5gXUy http://say.ly/rxopDV”
Chicago is normally so big on improv. I wonder if that hurts the stand up shows.
16 hours ago: “Reeeeaaaallly interesting article. http://tinyurl.com/3cdemka http://say.ly/EDipF6”
Pimp it, Neal. Pimp it. Speaking of pimps.
16 hours ago: “The overuse of the term, “shit-show” has turned into a real shit-show.”
Although the Google Images search for that term, pretty interesting.
7 hours ago: “My Irishness tells me to seek vengeance. My Catholicism tells me that vengeance belongs only to the lord. So I stew.”
And that’s how the Irish invented drinking.
Okay, let’s rate Neal’s tweets. Good balance of plugs and jokes. Not too pushy, but enough info to follow what he’s doing. I give him a 7 for Insanity, an 8 for Mustness and a 9 for Style. That’s an overall score of 8. He’s got me thinking that the funny on the Dave Chapelle Show might’ve been more Neal than Dave. Who knows? And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
If your birthday is this week: Your attempt to privatize sidewalks in your town backfires. Now you can’t walk down your street without buying a Happy Meal.
Aries: You will have a dream that your girlfriend’s breast implants play music. When you awaken, you will find that you’ve given your radio alarm clock a brumpski.
Taurus: You’ll get really high this week and stuff your roommate’s Blu Ray player with cheese.
Gemini: You’ll find Wolf Blitzer sitting in the back seat of your car. When you turn down his offer of spooning, he’ll jump out and run away.
Lemini: You will buy a really ugly shirt this week. Unfortunately, it will go great with the rest of your wardrobe.
Cancer: The stars say, there is no “acceptable” amount of rabbit feces to bake into chocolate chip cookies and it’s probably a bad idea to eat them just to “prove” you’re a good baker.
Leo: Your Cancer roommate steals your bag of rabbit feces. You’ll have to start over collecting it next week.
Virgo: Your Japanese tattoo looks cool, but you’ll find out it actually means “Pig Fucker”.
Libra: This week, the Aquarium will throw you out. Turns out, giving massages to the exhibits creeps everyone out.
Scorpio: Having sex with the Chinese food deliverer because you forget to go to the ATM is getting old, even for them. This time he brings a whip and a feather along with your General Tso’s.
Sagittarius: Your car won’t be too damaged from the accident this week, however, your mechanic will have a hard time prying the dead clowns from your grill.
Capricorn: The stars say, you will cut a fart that’s so nasty during your poker game, everyone folds to get away from you. Nice.
Aquarius: The stars say, stop drinking colored food die if you want your poop to come out blue. You can just eat a lot of blueberries you weirdo.
Pisces: Your amateur porno doesn’t go over well. Turns out, you need other people in it.
The Walk Show is back, bros. This time, me and missus are in hipster central, Northern Liberties in Philadelphia.
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Company Man
Convenience Store Diet
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Damn Heroes
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The Funnicks
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The Hero Business
Hit Girlz
I, Mummy
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Ker-Bop
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LaSalle’s Legacy
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