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Aug08

Frat Boy At the Movies: The Devil’s Double

by tonyd on August 8, 2011 at 12:01 am

Based on the book by the real body double of Uday Hussein, The Devil’s Double is an okay movie about a compelling piece of history.  Although the subject matter tends to outshine the execution, it’s worth a look if you remember time and know the history.

Dominic Cooper plays Latif, an old classmate of Uday Hussein’s who is forcibly recruited to be his body double.  But anyone that has read anything about Uday Hussein knows, that’s kind of like being the body double for Charles Manson if he also ruled a small Middle Eastern country.

The plot centers mostly on Latif and one of Uday’s girlfriends, who comes to love Latif more than Uday.  Uday’s psychopathic antics are all the more chilling because it all happened.

The downside for this history buff, however, is that director Lee Tamahori can’t seem to decide if he’s directing a straight up historical recreation kind of movie or the Middle Eastern version of Scarface.  Things are changed, seemingly, for no good dramatic reasons.

(minor spoiler)  For instance, the scene from the trailer when Uday is furious with a friend of his father’s and demands Latif kill.  Latif refuses and Uday later comes back, hacks the guy up with a knife and shoots him in the face.  It’s brutal.  However, the real Uday, apparently, didn’t use a gun and used an electric carving knife instead of just a knife.  Plus, the guy he killed wasn’t holding an AK-47 at the time.  So wouldn’t the “real” events have played even better?

Little things like not having Latif’s parents talk until late in the movie undercut the impact of the final real when they are in danger.  Stuff about the Kurds also seemed to be dumbed down or omitted for the American audience.  And there’s a confusing moment with Uday’s mom, who appears and then isn’t introduced until the next shot.  (There’s also an awful CGI moment, although it only lasts a second.)  Go to Latif’s website and read all the stuff was left out of the movie and you have to wonder why didn’t the script include some that stuff?

It might be a tad unfair to judge the movie based on what could’ve been added, but it is a historic portrait of a dictator’s son.  Seems a lot of grist was just left behind to concentrate on a love story, which sadly, doesn’t really seem all that interesting or important in the context of the movie.

The most interesting part is to see the world that was Iraq and it’s ruling elite.  Again, could’ve done more, but it is interesting.  Quite frankly, there’s enough here to do a mini-series.

The movie does end on a bit of cool action and it is somewhat satisfying.  Ultimately, my expectations may have been too high going in.  Still, I think it’s definitely a good rental.  I give the Devil’s Double 6.5 keggers out of 10.

└ Tags: cinema, critic, critique, double, film, Frat Boy at the Movies, keggers, Latif, Latif Yahia, Lee Tamahori, movie, rating, review, Saddam Hussein, Super Frat, The Devil's Double, Tony DiGerolamo, Uday Hussein
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Aug07

Your Fratoscope: August 7, 2011

by tonyd on August 7, 2011 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  The government will refuse to raise your debt limit.  Nice try.

Aries:  Your Father/Son Day is marred when you get home and realize you brought back someone else’s kid and that you have no kids or a reason to go to Father/Son Day.

Taurus:  The stars say, you will bite your tongue while chewing gum.   Maybe you shouldn’t walk while doing that at the same time.

Gemini:  This week, Daniel Craig will break into your office at work and write “See Cowboys & Aliens!” across your dry erase board.  You gotta give him credit for going the extra mile.

Lemini:  Relax, say the stars, that bleeding will stop.  Once you’re dead, the heart stops pumping.

Cancer:  For the first time in your life, a waitress will refer to you as “ma’am”.  It will be a crushing blow, a huge reminder of your own mortality and your latest excuse for leaving a shitty tip.

Leo:  You’ll go to the doctor for a check up.  After a few minutes, you’ll realize he’s spending an awful long time touching your genitals.  Just as you’re about to say something, he’ll pick up his mop and say, “The doctor’s not in today, the office is closed on Mondays.”

Virgo:  If you’re a fan of Jersey Shore, it’ll be a good week for you.  For all other Virgos, the signs of the Apocalypse continue to appear.

Libra:  The stars say, the operation will be a success.  Unfortunately, your unholy abomination in the eyes of God will escape the lab.

Scorpio:  Time to update your pop culture references, a Harry Potter-themed orgy is so July 2011.

Sagittarius:  You will attend a hockey game that will degenerate into a group hug.  It will be sickening.

Capricorn:  Your girlfriend will leave you and take the dog.  The joke’s on her, you were just watching the dog for a friend.

Aquarius:  For the second week in a row, you will wake up in a cold sweat wearing a white collared shirt, black tie and black pants.  There’s no doubt now.  You’re a were-Mormon.

Pisces:  Get dress and go out and have some fun this week!  The economy’s tanking.  By mid-August, you won’t have a pot to piss in, so enjoy it now!

└ Tags: Aires, Aquarius, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, Daniel Craig, funny, future, Gemini, Harry Potter, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, parody, Pisces, predictions, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
1 Comment
Aug06

Ask Señor Cactus!

by tonyd on August 6, 2011 at 12:01 am


translated by Mr. Shit
transcribed by Tony DiGerolamo

And now it’s time for that prickly purveyor of wisdom…
The king of the Caryophyllales-Cactaceae…
Ladies and gentlemon’, the great Señor Cactus!

Rodent Roomie,

Dear Señor Cactus,

My roommate has a ferret and he won’t stop talking about it.  He’s constantly asking me to look out for it and feed it and check on it.  It’s driving me crazy.  What’s the penalty for ferreticide?

Sincerely,

John R., Virginia Tech

Dear Ferret Hater

Cactus say, on your campus, whatever you do, don’t threaten to shoot it.  He also remind you dat rodents in cages are fun, friendly pets, but rodents in your living space are vermin.  Maybe drop some peanut butter on your roommate’s nads while he’s asleep and a ferret bite will take care of the situation for ya!

Nervous in Nebraska

Mr. Cactus,

My boyfriend had a bad break up with a long time ex, but he remained friends with her.  I recently found out  by checking his browser that he emails her almost on a daily basis!  I confronted him.  He says it’s “no big deal” but I say it’s too intimate!  Should I dump him?

Dora, 20, U of N

Dear Dora the Explorer Explorer

Cactus say, da problem is yer not bonin’ yer man enough!  You think he’d be on the Internet arrangin’ somethin’ on da side if he couldn’t see straight from all the constant orgasms?  Let him bone ya three, four, five times a day.  Then see if he ever remember dat bitch’s name.

Butt Master

Señor Cactus:

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

Signed,
Some Dude

Dear Dude

Cactus say, sure you can!  Next time you wake up with a chick dat look like this, Cactus bet you suddenly don’t remember yer phone number.

Bored in Birmingham

Hey Señor Cactus,

I love my girlfriend, but I’m just so bored with our relationship.  We don’t do anything and our conversations just drift into silence.  It’s like I spend all day coming up with excuses to duck her.  I love her, but I can’t take much more.  Help.

A.J., 19, BSU

Dear Bored Hillbilly

Cactus say, da secret to life is to realize dat everyone is boring!  Why do ya think everyone get drunk and high all da time?  Because who could stand life sober?  Cactus and Mistah Shit say, it time to buy some chronic and keep smokin’ until she interesting!  And hey, you probably bore da shit out of her too!  So make sure you get da right bong!

And if you have a question for Señor Cactus email us here!

└ Tags: advice, advice column, boyfriend, Butts, Cactus, cheating, comedy, Dora the Explorer, ferret, funny, girlfriend, humor, Mistah Shit, parody, relationship, romance, roommate, Señor Cactus, smoking, stoner, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo
1 Comment
Aug05

Rewritten Headlines: Tiger Woods to D.B. Cooper

by tonyd on August 5, 2011 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!
Hot off the presses is another edition of Rewritten Headlines. Why read the news, when I can skim it for you?

Real: Tiger Woods Returns With 2 Under

Rewritten: Tiger Woods Probably Banging Clubhouse Chicks 2 at a Time

Real: Lady Gaga Weighs in on Amy Winehouse’s Death

Rewritten: Lady Gaga Attempts to Leverage Publicity for Herself

Real: Warren Jeffs Found Guilty of Child Sexual Assault

Rewritten: Religious Perv to be Ass-Raped Soon

Real: NFL Players Ratify 10-Year Deal

Rewritten: Millionaires to Continue Obscenely Rich Lifestyles Uninterrupted

Real: Mitt Romney Pledges Opposition to Gay Marriage

Rewritten: Politician Stumps for Homophobe Vote

Real: Congressional Leaders Call Truce in FAA Fight

Rewritten: Congressional Leaders Too Embarrassed to Continue Opulent Vacations Without Actually Doing Something First

Real: Dow Jones Plunges 513, Worst Drop Since 2008

Rewritten: President Praying for Disaster to Distract Populace

Real: Is “Uncle L.D.” the Notorious Skyjacker D.B. Cooper?  Experts are Skeptical

Rewritten: Experts Still With Nothing Better to do

└ Tags: Amy Winehouse, comedy, Congress, D.B. Cooper, Dow Jones, funny, humor, Lady Gaga, leaders, News, NFL, parody, players, Rewritten Headlines, Super Frat, Tiger Woods, Tony DiGerolamo, Warren Jeffs, writing
Comments Off on Rewritten Headlines: Tiger Woods to D.B. Cooper
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