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Feb18

Rewritten Headlines: Megaupload to Iran

by tonyd on February 18, 2012 at 1:16 am

Your Rewritten News Team is back with all the news that’s fit to rewrite.

Real: Feds Broaden Piracy Case Against Megaupload.com

Rewritten: Government Still Hates Internet, Determined to Fuck it up

Real: Despite Safety Concerns, Work on Deadly Flu to be Released

Rewritten: Remake of Stephen King’s “The Stand” Might not Require Actors

Real: Obama Steps Up Fundraising

Rewritten: Government Employee Spends Time on the Clock Begging for Money From Billionaires

Real: SF Bay Litter Would Fill 100K Trash Bags

Rewritten: Gay People Not as Neat as Once Thought

Real: Janet Jackson in Preliminary Talks to Join “The X-Factor”

Rewritten: Janet Jackson Thinking About Jumping Shark With Singing Contest Shows

Real: FBI Arrests DC Muslim After Another Phony “Terror Plot”

Rewritten: FBI Attempts to Justify Enormous Budget

Real: U.S. Officials Don’t Believe Sanctions Will Stop Iran’s Nuclear Program, says UK Guardian

Rewritten: U.S. Officials to Start World War 3 This Year

└ Tags: comedy, DC, Deadly Flu, FBI, Feds, fundraising, funny, humor, Iran, Janet Jackson, litter, Megaupload, Muslim, News, Obama, parody, Phony, Rewritten Headlines, San Francisco Bay, Super Frat, Terror Plot, Tony DiGerolamo, U.S. Officials
2 Comments
Feb17

Frat Boy At the Movies: The Artist

by tonyd on February 17, 2012 at 12:38 am

I knew I was in trouble when I walked into the theater and the usher took my ticket and said, “Enjoy your silent movie.”  It sounded more like a warning.  The Artist teases you in the trailer by showing John Goodman’s one line in the flick.

The basic story is one that any film geek knows.  When silent movies switched to ones with sound, movie studios almost immediately embraced this technology.  But certain silent movies stars resisted the change.  The Artist follows one such star.  Parallel to his star fading, the main character (George) helps a new face rise just in time for the talkies.

(Spoiler ahead)  Now about half way through the movie, there is a scene that indicates the movie may be transitioning to sound.  This is kind of what I thought would happen.  As cinema progresses through the years, so does the movie, I figured.  But no, the filmmakers decide to make the same mistake the character did.  They insist on embracing the old ways and the movie stays silent virtually throughout.

On the one hand, it’s kind of interesting to see a modern day silent movie.  But on the other hand, without sound, you feel distant from the movie.  Real silent movies had a piano player in the theater, so it was more of a live event.  The Artist tries to capture that, but I found myself shifting in my seat and wondering when this thing was going to be over.

That isn’t to say there weren’t some entertaining parts.  The dog is cute and certainly the movie is well made, but it takes forever to say what we already know and attempts to speak in a languages that for a modern day movie audience is long since dead.  I can’t understand why this movie is nominated for Oscars.  The silent movie format didn’t endear me to these characters and it didn’t provide additional insight.  I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.  Maybe I’m just too much of a talkie person.

I give The Artist 4 keggers out of 10.  I would say it’s a rental.

└ Tags: cinema, critic, film, Frat Boy at the Movies, movie, Oscar, overrated, rating, review, silent movie, spoiler, Super Frat, talkie, The Artist, Tony DiGerolamo
4 Comments
Feb15

Twitter in Focus: Richard Lewis

by tonyd on February 15, 2012 at 12:01 am

Hey bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is comedian, Richard Lewis, who often acts like he wants to die in his act.  Let’s see what kind of depressing hilarity he’s up to today.

@TheRichardLewis

January 21st:  “I used Viagra once and I got a cow-lick for four hours.”

Wow.  Why did you stand still for the cow?

January 22nd:  “I usually exercise by worrying in place.”

That is classic Lewis.  Richard, not Jerry.

January 25th:  “I’m suffering from bouts of contentment.”

I think that could be a bumper sticker.   A line of neurotic bumper stickers.  I think it could work.

January 27th:  “I only relaxed once in my life then suddenly suffered a panic attack.”

He’s on fire.  And by “fire”, I mean, intense therapy.

January 28th:  “I was having a great day until I woke up.”

This is the first time I’ve ever considered calling the suicide hotline while writing one of these.

January 29th:  “If LD doesn’t do another Curb we will find a place mid-way between our homes to meet weekly to mock each other.”

Good to know.  Hopefully someone will tape it on their phone and post it to YouTube.

January 31st:  “I was having such a great sleep and dream until my co-dependent, nut case ex crashed it.”

Is that the one from Curb?  Because she is hot.

February 3rd:  “I’d go to sleep now but would hate to miss out on a bad experience.”

Richard, as you imaginary agent, I suggest you plug more in the Twitter.

February 6th:  “There is no place like home so no wonder I was raised by wolves.”

Those were some neurotic wolves.

February 9th:  “Check me out on nothing and worry about yourselves.”

Well, that was kind of a plug.

February 9th:  “Oh Kids, if you never heard Dylan’s HIGHLANDS on Time Out of Mind it’s all ahead of you.”

Put aside about a half hour kids.  It’s a long song.

February 11th:  “Don’t put off today what probably won’t happen tomorrow.”

How do you cut yourself and tweet at the same time?

February 11th:  “My mother’s favorite prescription drug was Know-it-alls.”

Badum-dum!  Keesh!  Thank you folks.  He’ll be here all week!

4 hours ago:  “I’m full of self-esteem–if only I can find it.”

Another bumper sticker.  Think about it.

3 hours ago:  “On Valentine’s Day an ex of mine once bought me a chocolate handgun.”

I’ve seen one of those!

Okay, let’s rate Richard’s tweets.  He’s definitely putting some effort into this.  Sounds like his material.  Heard a little behind-the-scenes.  Overall, pretty good.  I give him a 7 for Mustness, an 8 for Insanity and a 10 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 8.3.  C’mon, follow Richard.  You don’t want to give him any more ammo for his therapist.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: Bob Dylan, comedian, comedy, Curb Your Enthusiasm, funny, humor, jokes, Larry David, Richard Lewis, Super Frat, therapy, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
1 Comment
Feb13

Who is Full of Awesome? (with Tony D)

by tonyd on February 13, 2012 at 12:40 am

with Tony DiGerolamo

Change in the weather may have gotten me sick, bros.  So when I’m not feeling week, I know there’s always a little bit of awesomeness to cheer me up.  Let’s look at some of the people that make things full of that adjective.

– First up, a school bus driver in North Carolina that evacuated her students before the bus went up in flames like one of Otto‘s blunts.  Nice job!  The only thing my bus driver ever did is yell at me.

– A shout out to rescuers in Kosovo for rescuing a five year-old girl, after her house was crushed by 33 feet of snow.  Jesus Christ, that’s a lot of snow!  It’s all part of the massive arctic chill Europe and Asia has been hit with over the past few weeks.  Nice save all!

– And in the “Awww!” Department, rescuers saved a four-week old puppy from a drainage pipe in a Michigan basement.  Now who isn’t happy to hear they saved a puppy?  Click on that link to see the cutest pic ever.

– Meanwhile, a couple of Canucks got saved when their sailboat went down near Hawaii.  Imagine spending two and half hours in the dark in the middle of the ocean?  Apparently, not everyone dies on World’s Deadliest Catch.  Nice job container ship crew that did the saving!

— And finally, add to the list a New York MTA worker that saved a woman, who had been sexually assaulted on the subway tracks.  Give that man the key to the city, New York!  He’s full of awesome.

Think someone is full of awesome? Email suggestions here or post in the comments section below.

└ Tags: avalanche, Canucks, drainage pipe, driver, five year old girl, full of Awesome. Who is Full of Awesom?, Hawaii, hero, Kosovo, MTA, New York, North Carolina, ocean, Otto, puppy, rescue, school bus, sexually assaulted, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo
1 Comment
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