I have a confession to make, I have never liked jugglers. This is probably because back in college I was doing an open mic night and the act right after me was a juggler comedian. I had this bit where I broke glass bottles all over the stage and he demanded that I go back on stage to clean it up. Such nerve! How was I supposed to know he was going to juggle barefoot? Wear some shoes “juggy”. Anyhow, many years later after a particularly tough week, I found myself pitching jokes to another juggler/comedian to see if I could make quick cash. He rejected them. So fuck jugglers. Here now are my rejected juggling jokes.
Juggler Jokes
written by Tony DiGerolamo
copyright 2008
I hate juggling. My dad was a juggler, but I didn’t hate him. I just hated the way he’d pass me the salt at the dinner table. Somehow I’d end up with two extra condiments I didn’t need.
My dad wasn’t much into sports. He liked bowling, but for the wrong reasons. After every strike, he’d yell at the TV, “Dammit! I could’ve caught that.”
He was good at some things. Our games of catch would last seven hours…or until I dropped one of the chain saws.
I was a sloppy kid growing up. Never cleaned my room. When my mom came in and yelled at me, I’d just start picking up the stuff in my room (juggle various items) and then wait until she’d leave (drop items).
Jugglers don’t make a lot of money. I was once so broke, I ate the eggs I was going to juggle in my act. I had to juggle with whatever was left in my refrigerator. I ended up juggling with a jar of mustard, a moldy onion and my cat’s ear medicine.
