Super Frat

Jan28

Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Meatloaf

by tonyd on January 28, 2013 at 12:01 am

Ingredients: Two pounds of ground beef, 3 large eggs, 1 cup of bread crumbs, 1 red onion, 4 cloves of garlic, 1/2 cup cilantro, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 tablespoon of pepper, 1/4 cup of Worcestershire sauce, 1/2 cup fresh cilantro, 10 kegs of beer, 1 case of Molson Canadian Light, 3 Irish car bombs.

Step 1: Throw Monday kegger. Frat brothers only.

Step 2: Drink tap kegs, get pretty hammered.

Step 3: Realize there’s no chicks or food at this kegger.

Step 4: Decide food is more important, check fridge for ingredients.

Step 5: Find package of ground beef. Decide meatloaf would be good.

Step 6: Recruit drunken frat brothers to cobble together other ingredients.

Step 7: Watch frat bros cut drunken fingers, assure blood will wash off onions.

Step 8: Crack eggs, assure that eggshell in meatloaf will “cook away”.

Step 9: Run out of beer, break out emergency case of Molson Canadian Light.

Step 10: Mix ingredients, realize no one washed hands all days. Say, “fuck it”.

Step 11: Shape stuff into meatloaf, throw in oven.

Step 12: Finish case of beer.

Step 13: Realize oven is not on. Take out meatloaf, preheat oven.

Step 14: Set up some Irish car bombs to drink. Put meatloaf in oven.

Step 15: Drink Irish car bombs.

Step 16: Vomit on self and pass out in hallway.

Step 17: Wake up to smell of something burning.

Step 18: Open oven. Find completely burned meatloaf.

Step 19: Realize it looks like a giant black turd.

Step 20: Place in toilet upstairs, set up video camera, wait for bro to react and create YouTube gold.

└ Tags: beer, bro, brother, comedy, food, frat, Frat House, fraternity, funny, humor, Ira, Ira's Drunken Recipes, Irish car bombs, kegger, kegs, meatloaf, Molson Canadian Light, Monday, prank, recipe, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo

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Jan27

Your Fratoscope: January 27, 2013

by tonyd on January 27, 2013 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week: As a joke, your terrorists friends get you one of those giant, round, black bombs with the fuse on the top. They think it’s hilarious, but seriously, be careful with that thing.

Aries: Your interview on Piers Morgan devolves into an intense argument over who is wearing better pants.

Taurus: The stars say, they were watching TV this week and totally forgot to predict your future. They say just pick one of the old predictions at random, they’re all pretty much the same. Lazy stars.

Gemini: You will discover that your bong is a time machine that takes you to one hour into a future where all the Doritos are gone.

Lemini: This week, the cafeteria will be serving tuna hoagies instead of Salisbury steak. That’s not much of a prediction, but you’re not leading much of a life anyway.

Cancer: Sex with a Leo will be mysterious and intriguing and by “intriguing” we mean “fast” and by “mysterious” we mean “anonymous in a mens bathroom”.

Leo: You’ll bang some chick in a bathroom when you’re both drunk.

Virgo: Your dart game will end with a visit to the ER. Maybe it’s time to get your eyes checked.

Libra: Your roommate is getting increasingly paranoid. Maybe it’s time to ask him to stop booby trapping the mayonnaise.

Scorpio: You will masturbate to a Leo and Cancer having sex in the next bathroom stall.

Sagittarius: The stars didn’t have time to predict anything for you either. The stars have been having a lot of problems recent and has been drinking and fighting with the stars’ mother. Let’s just not get into it, okay?!

Capricorn: You’ll find love with the next person that uses your parking space, but it’ll be too awkward to get out of your car and talk to them because by then you’ll have no place to park.

Aquarius: For the last time, the Mayan calendar thing was bullshit. Stop peeing in a bucket and come out of your basement already.

Pisces: You’ll be invited to a support group to face your caffeine addiction, but halfway through the first meeting you’ll all go to Starbucks and say, “Fuck that shit.”