Apr03

Twitter in Focus: Rebel Wilson

by tonyd on April 3, 2013 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is Rebel Wilson.  Actress, writer, producer and one of my favorite supporting characters in Workaholics.  (She played the female Juggalo that seduces Adam.)  Let’s take a look at her tweets.

@RebelWilson

March 12th:  “I’m not too famous to eat crumbs off my chest x”

I’d like to see that.

March 20th:  “Hey shower curtain! Stop groping me! x”

Texting from the shower?  She’s dedicated.

March 24th:  “Been sitting at home all weekend writing for MTV Movie Awards – unfortunately MTV won’t let me do my strip routine ala Magic Mike…”

I want my MTV…off the cable box because they never play fucking music anymore.

March 24th:  “I’ve also requested a unicorn..but MTV said they don’t have one..dammmmm it…”

Liars.  They gave one to Bam Margera.

March 25th:  “Channing Tatum feels up Rebel Wilson in new MTV Movie Awards promo — VIDEO http://insidemovies.ew.com/2013/03/25/mtv-movie-awards-promo-channing-tatum-rebel-wilson/ … via @EW”

Any they wouldn’t let you do the Magic Mike bit…

March 25th:  “Here’s the poster we made for MTV Movie Awards… pic.twitter.com/tBW7X5i8AJ”

That’s pretty badass.

March 25th:  “I think they may have photoshopped out some of the side-boob…probably for the best…”

Will there be an unedited sideboob version at some point?

March 27th:  “Must Watch: Red Band ‘Pain & Gain’ Trailer is Shocking & Awesome http://www.firstshowing.net/2013/must-watch-red-band-pain-gain-trailer-is-shocking-awesome/ … via @firstshowing”

I gotta say, for a Michael Bay movie, that looks pretty awesome.

March 28th:  “Got a new personal best at the gym this morning…arrived only 5 minutes late x”

C’mon, Rebel, don’t work off that glorious ass.

March 31st: “HAPPY EASTER everyone! I’m hunting chocolate bunnies with my mouth!”

Now that’s the workout I pictured.

Okay, let’s rate Rebel’s tweets.  Rebel’s a busy girl.  She seems to be in everything these days.  Her Twitter seems pretty genuine.  A little behind the scenes stuff, low on plugs.  Not bad.  I give her a 7 for Insanity, a 8 for Mustness and a 9 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 8.  Follow Rebel.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

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Apr01

Level Up: I Want to Marry Bioshock Infinite

by tonyd on April 1, 2013 at 12:01 am

I know this is sudden.  We’ve only been seeing each other for a few days, but I know a good thing when I see it.

Let’s get married BioShock Infinite!

I remember when I first heard about you.  Your sisters Bioshocks were great.  As a fan of strange alternate histories and Libertarianism, they hit many of my buttons.  But you hit them all.

I love your olde tyme music and your 1912 setting.  Your retro look that’s even retro compared to previous Bioshocks.  I love your first shooter gameplay with many weapons, customizable ones and alternate history technologies.  I love your political themes through the story line which then becomes more complicated when dimensional travel is added.  The addition of a sidekick and then the removal of the same said sidekick also mixes it up.  I enjoy traveling fast on skylines while shooting, shooting, shooting everyone and everything in sight.

Not that you don’t have a softer side.  Your colors and sound are amazing.  The detail in your side characters is incredible and go such to an in depth level I can hardly believe you’re one tidy package.  And your story, well, I won’t give it away.  A man tries to save a woman and like us, their relationship is complicated.

So c’mon, what do you say Bioshock?  And don’t worry.

My wife’s a very understanding woman.

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Mar31

Your Easter Fratoscope

by tonyd on March 31, 2013 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  Your friends come over to celebrate, but all you can think about is how you’re missing the Season 3 premiere of A Game of Thrones.

Aries:  The Easter Bunny leaves you plenty of candy, but steals some of your weed.

Taurus:  You will fart very loudly during the middle of Mass and you’ll realize barging into a church to ask for directions was a bad idea.

Gemini:  You find all the eggs missed in your Easter Egg hunt while mowing the lawn.

Lemini:  This week, you get a surprise.  Diabetes!

Cancer:  The stars say, making an Easter Bunny out of the dust bunnies in your place is not cute, it’s disgusting.

Leo:  Your imitation of Jesus will not go over well.  Especially with the people trying to eat at the P.F. Chang’s.

Virgo:  You will have your childhood shattered today as the Easter Bunny will admit that he’s also the Trix Rabbit.

Libra:  You will spend Easter as you always do, counting down the seconds til midnight when the all-night CVS lowers the candy prices.

Scorpio:  You discover that Easter Sex is pretty much just sex with someone’s testicles brightly painted.

Sagittarius:  The stars say, stop saying “Ho, ho, ho” you jackass.

Capricorn:  Your family continues the Passover tradition of arguing for the rest of the week.

Aquarius:  Your Easter pizza will arrive covered in eggs and chocolate as requested.

Pisces:  You will host an awesome Easter Dinner despite the lack of robots.

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Mar30

Ten College Courses You’ll Never See

by tonyd on March 30, 2013 at 12:01 am

1.  A History of Kanye West Tweets

2.  Apples to Ziti: How to Turn Food into Bongs

3.  Dirty Fighting: Beyond Kicking the Nut Bag

4.  A Semester Abroad: Banging Foreigners You’ll Never See Again

5.  Faking Glaucoma and Other Ways to Get Legal Weed

6.  Getting Drunk 301: Why Won’t My Dick Work?

7.  Cleavage Photography

8.  Cheating: A Study in Lying to Your Girlfriend

9.  Advanced Inebriated Video Game Play

10.  Fucking to Get That Promotion

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