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Dec23

Life Skills for Fanboys: Convention Volunteers

by tonyd on December 23, 2013 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

Life Skills for Fanboys:  Convention Volunteers

written by Tony DiGerolamo, Copyright 2013

I’m back with another skill, this one a bit more specific.  Take this criticism in the constructive way it is given.  Like you, I am also a fanboy.

The Idea Behind Volunteers

The concept behind convention volunteers is a noble one.  The geek community needs conventions so that we can connect with fellow fans.  Conventions are often expensive to organize and run.  Some cons are essentially non-profit operations.  Whatever money is made is used to cover costs and banked for next year.

Hiring a staff of corporate drones in black polo shirts often turns conventions into impersonal, money operations.  And, in the pursuit of money, whatever personality a convention once had is often lost.  So, in many ways, con volunteers are the personality of a convention.

The Problems

Just because your con is not part of a larger corporation out to fleece the fandom for every cent doesn’t mean you con will be a positive experience for the fans.  There are several pointed problems I see with volunteers when I attend shows.

1.  The Mercenary Attitude:  While many fans volunteer out of the goodness of their heart or simply because they don’t have the money to attend the con, some are merely there to avoid paying the entrance fee.  Once they’ve gotten their staff shirt and badge, they seek to shirk their duties or do the minimum at every turn.  As long as they get to their game or their event, they could give a crap about the rest of the con.

2.  The Untrained Masses:  Some fans are extremely earnest and willing to help when they volunteer, but if they aren’t given the proper training and leadership at the convention, there’s nothing much they can do other than mill about the floor and point out “fires” when they happen to someone who can actually do something.  In many ways, untrained volunteers are worse than no volunteers.  At least if there are no volunteers, I know I’m on my own.  But when someone untrained agrees to help solve my problem or answer my question, then disappears and never comes back, I’ve wasted a lot of my time.

3.  King Geek:  King Geek is a con volunteer who is a veteran and has decided to promote himself within his own mind.  He claims way more authority than he has and acts like he owns the convention.  Nothing is worse than a geek who throws his weight around and then it turns out he doesn’t even have any to throw.

4.  The Complainer:  Passive aggressive, angry and often bitter, this volunteer would rather complain about everyone else than actually just do the work.  Yeah, I understand no one is listening to, it’s a shame they wasn’t better training and no, this isn’t how I would run a con either, but should you be helping instead of bitching to me?

5.  The Unprofessional:  Look, I understand you’re a volunteer, but this isn’t your parents’ basement.  Get organized and do your job.  Stop talking on your cellphone to your friend about the autograph line and listen to your supervisor.  If you really just wanted to be at the con, then you shouldn’t volunteer.  Work or play, don’t do both at the same time.

The Solutions

Organizations need strong leadership and conventions are no exception.  One person needs to be in charge and the hierarchy naturally extends out from that one person.  Yes, I understand there are often counsels and clubs and large groups of people that are behind the scenes, spending money and organizing.  But the actually day-to-day running of an event needs to move with one voice and one purpose.  After the event is over, you can re-evaluate the leader’s performance and decide to replace him or her.

Once you have a strong leader, it all comes down to getting to know the volunteers and training them.  Mercenary volunteers are useless.  Identify them and kick them out if they don’t do their jobs.  The rest must be trained.  They must know their place in the hierarchy of the organization.  They cannot complain to the public and they must act like professionals during the entire event.

The Limits of Volunteers

Employees have to do their jobs, but volunteers can only be pushed so far.  They must have times scheduled “off” so they can enjoy the event and they should be thanked for their service by those above.  While it is important to make sure everyone is doing their jobs, it is also very important to respect volunteers.  Without respect, volunteers will not return and your convention will find itself short staffed next year.

└ Tags: con, convention, Convention Volunteers, geek, Life Skills for Fanboys, profesional, staff, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, unprofessional
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Dec22

Your Holiday Fratoscope

by tonyd on December 22, 2013 at 12:14 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  Although you’ve been horrible this year, after Santa’s sleigh side swipes you in a parking lot, you get some great gifts if you promise not to turn it into insurance.

Aries:  You finally learn to spell Hanukkah, but then you forget.

Taurus:  The stars say, the lines in the store are long because you do your shopping on the way to visit your relatives on Christmas Day.

Gemini:  Jack Frost will nip at your nose and you will be the shit out of that touchy fucker.

Lemini:  You’ll spend a lonely holiday watching the Green Lantern movie.  It doesn’t get any better.  The movie, not your holiday.

Cancer:  You holiday will jingle-jingle, but not jangle.

Leo:  The sweaters you get this year for Christmas are much less uglier than the previous year.  So there’s that.

Virgo:  You will be taken to the hospital with a near-fatal nog overdose.

Libra:  Frosty the Snowman will come to life on your front lawn, then trip and sue you for damages.  Fortunately, he melts halfway through the lawsuit.

Scorpio:  You will have a sensual encounter with an elf.

Sagittarius:  You will finally get your big break in comedy, mainly because no one else in the soup kitchen has anything else to do other than listen to you.

Capricorn:  You will find a reindeer carcass with a red nose has been blocking your chimney this entire time.

Aquarius:  You will be stalked by a mall Santa until you agree to sit on his lap.

Pisces:  You presents are the same as every year:  ham, ham, ham!

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Christimas, comedy, frat boy, funny, Gemini, Hanukkah, Holidays, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, parody, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scropio, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, zodiac
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Dec21

Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies: Holiday 2013 Edition

by tonyd on December 21, 2013 at 12:01 am

TonyAngry

The holidays are a time to get with families, open presents, eat lots of food and then go to the movies when you realize there’s nothing to do.  I am a picky movie goer and admission isn’t getting any cheaper.  Here now is Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies: Holiday 2013 Edition.

Lone Survivor:  Oh, good.  I was wondering where I could see a two hour commercial for joining the military.  Marky-Mark shooting people?  Yeah, never seen that before.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty:  …is not much of a secret, seeing how old the story is and how much is given away in the trailer.  But hey, if you have an urgent need to see Ben Stiller and Kristen Wiig be only moderately funny…

Justin Bieber’s Believe:  I believe I will never see this.  Now if he puts in some of those Brazilian whores he’s allegedly fond of, then maybe.

Grudge Match:  Seriously?  How many boxing movies must Stallone make?  Is it in his contract that he needs to be in boxing gloves at least five times a movie or something?  Uh, no.

August: Osage County:  Sounds boring, looks boring and you won’t see me in the theater unless I lose a bet to the Missus.

Saving Mr. Banks:  No, a thousand times, no Disney.  You can’t have my money.  How many more movies about making movies are they going to make?  What next?  “The Making of Saving Mr. Banks?”  Or how about “The Making of, the Making of Saving Mr. Banks?” in another 30 years!  Maybe just stick cameras in studio execs offices right now!  After all, rich people are SO fascinating to themselves, why not sell it to the rest of us poor schlubs in flyover country?  Yeah, that’s the ticket!

One Chance:  Oh, good!  A movie about a TV show!  Now there’s original thinking!

Ride Along:  Is there any more evidence that Hollywood is one big conveyor belt of “names” and “brands” than Ice Cube movies?  Now he’s a cop.  Let me type that again.  The former member of NWA plays an old, crotchety cop.  As much as I like Kevin Hart and want to see him succeed, I can’t.  I just can’t.

I have to stop here.  Thankfully, Martin Scorsese and Peter Jackson gave me some hope this holiday.

 

└ Tags: August Osage County, Believe, Ben Stiller, comedy, films, funny, Grudge Match, humor, Ice Cube, Justin Bieber, Kevin Hart, Kristen Wiig, Lone Survivor, Mark Wahlberg, Martin Scorsese, movies, Once Chance, opinion, Peter Jackson, rant, rating, review, Ride Along, Saving Mr. Banks, Super Frat, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Tony DiGerolamo, Why I'm Not Seeing These Movies
Comments Off on Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies: Holiday 2013 Edition
Dec20

Rewritten Headlines: Neanderthal to Selena Gomez

by tonyd on December 20, 2013 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Hillbillies Older Than Previously Thought

Politician Frees Politically Connected Relative

Performance in London Brings House Down

Booze Soon to Contain Spam

Company That Creates Time Wasting, Apparently Still Valuable

New York City Even Less Fun

Woman Really Fails to Get Job

Government Determined to Ruin Internet

Scientist Don’t Back Up Files Enough

Rich and Famous Girl Now Bored

 

 

└ Tags: comedy, current events, e cigarettes, facebook, funny, Google, headlines, Hillbillies, humor, London, Neanderthal, New York City, News, Obama, parody, Rewritten Headlines, Rewritten News, scientists, Selena Gomez, Super Frat, theater, Tony DiGerolamo, vodka
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