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Jul04

Level Up: Zombie Army Trilogy

by tonyd on July 4, 2016 at 12:01 am
File:Zombie Army Trilogy cover art.jpg

From Rebellion

The Zombie Army Trilogy video game delivers exactly what you’d expect from a zombie game set in World War 2.  Nazi zombies and lots of ’em!  The game is bloody, gruesome fun.  It’s even scary sometimes with the odd zombie jumping out, dropping down or just sneaking up behind you without noticing.

You can play one of four characters and there is co-opt mode for all of them.  I’m a big fan of zombie games without a lot of “super zombies”.  Most of the action here is on the regular zombies, but it does have it’s share of ones with interesting add-ons.  I prefer the more organic ones, like the zombie still clutching the machine gun and shooting wildly or the SS officer zombie that is so hard to hit, you need to shoot off his helmet and then shoot him in the head.

I would’ve liked to have seen more clever use of “regular” zombies, like a zombie that maybe comes at you with a pulled hand grenade or one that’s simply on fire and too smoky to hit.  Still, Rebellion creates a creepy feeling and plenty of interesting mazes for your to shoot, shoot and shoot your way to WW 2 victory.  It’s a bit of a grinder game, but that’s what I liked about it.  It was refreshingly the same with variations on a theme.  I prefer to explore one kind of game than have a game try to be everything.

I give Zombie Army Trilogy, 8 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

└ Tags: creepy, Gamer, Level Up, rating, regular zombies, review, shooting, Super Frat, super zombies, Tony DiGerolamo, video games, World War 2, Xbox One, Zombie Army Trilogy, zombie Nazis
Comments Off on Level Up: Zombie Army Trilogy
Jul03

Your Independence Day Fratoscope

by tonyd on July 3, 2016 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  Your birthday cake explodes and your fireworks display is super mild.

Aries:  Your GPS leads you to a dead hooker and then displays the message, “You gotta help me, man!”

Taurus:  You’ll be haunted by a ghost that only appears to watch you masturbate.

Gemini:  You’ll go to Philadelphia and immediately search for what all American tourist look for, Mac’s Tavern.

Lemini:  The stars say, buy a new lighter or you will have an odd number of fingers by the end of this weekend.

Cancer:  Your barbecue goes off as planned you and eat 20 lbs. of steak alone.

Leo:  Testing your pool party host’s pool to see if the water turns blue when you pee in it is a bad idea, especially when you pee from outside the pool.

Virgo:  You will eat eight kinds of meat at your barbecue.

Libra:  Don’t plan too much this weekend, you’ll be stuck in traffic until Arbor Day.

Scorpio:  You’ll see Independence Day: Resurgence, but only because you’re Roland Emmerich.

Sagittarius:  A Predator comes to your barbecue, but he gets too drunk to hunt you.

Capricorn:  This week, wear flame-retardant clothing.  The guy lighting your fireworks is near-sighted.

Aquarius:  You’ll see a passive aggressive tone in everything you read because you just have to be that way, don’t you?

Pisces:  You’ll correct someone’s grammar on the Internet…with a vengeance!

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, frat boy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Independence Day, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Mac's Tavern, Philadelphia, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Roland Emmerich, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
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Jul02

Ten Things I Expect an Escaped Orangutan to do at Busch Gardens

by tonyd on July 2, 2016 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

Recently an Orangutan escaped it’s cage at Busch Gardens.  Here now are the Ten Things I Expect he’d do.

  1.  Wonder why everyone runs away screaming.
  2. Destroy every copy of Every Which Way But Loose.
  3. See if the funnel cake guy would start him a tab.
  4. Ride the log flume!  Wheeeee!
  5. Put on hat found on the ground, try to act human.
  6. Get some peanuts, throw them at the orangutan he hates.
  7. Find a phone, see if a lawyer could get him out longer.
  8. Play milk bottle game to see if monkey-strength makes a difference.
  9. Take a poop in a stall in privacy for once.
  10. Carjack Tesla, tell it to drive him back to the jungle.
└ Tags: Busch Gardens, comedy, Every Which Way But Loose, funnel cake, funny, hat, humor, list, log flume, milk bottle game, Orangutan, peanuts, Super Frat, Ten Things I Expect, Tesla, Tony DiGerolamo
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Jul01

Rewritten Headlines: Horny Police to Adorable Prisoner

by tonyd on July 1, 2016 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Horny Police Break Down Door

FDA Probably Never Been in Break Up

Dear God, NOOOOO!

Hot Chick Super Rich

Disneyland Still Not Safe

Maximum Overdrive Begins

More People Cheaping Out on Mom

Man Gets Wife Off the Hook

Seinfeld Totally Stoked

Pervs Must Find Entertainment Elsewhere

Adorable Prisoner Escapes

└ Tags: adorable prisoner, beer, Clinton, comedy, cookie dough, crocodile, current events, FDA, funny, headlines, horny police, humor, Kellogg's, Miss Teen USA, mom, News, Rewritten Headlnies, Rewritten News, Scarlett Johansson, Seinfeld, Super Frat, swimsuit, The Olive Garden, Tony DiGerolamo
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