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Recently an Orangutan escaped it’s cage at Busch Gardens.  Here now are the Ten Things I Expect he’d do.

  1.  Wonder why everyone runs away screaming.
  2. Destroy every copy of Every Which Way But Loose.
  3. See if the funnel cake guy would start him a tab.
  4. Ride the log flume!  Wheeeee!
  5. Put on hat found on the ground, try to act human.
  6. Get some peanuts, throw them at the orangutan he hates.
  7. Find a phone, see if a lawyer could get him out longer.
  8. Play milk bottle game to see if monkey-strength makes a difference.
  9. Take a poop in a stall in privacy for once.
  10. Carjack Tesla, tell it to drive him back to the jungle.