Airline Really Trying to go Out of Business
Immigrants Coming to America Longer Than Previously Thought
Movie Star Takes Minimum Wage Gig at Park
Whale Couldn’t Cover Gambling Debts
Government to Screw Up Porn for Everyone
Airline Really Trying to go Out of Business
Immigrants Coming to America Longer Than Previously Thought
Movie Star Takes Minimum Wage Gig at Park
Whale Couldn’t Cover Gambling Debts
Government to Screw Up Porn for Everyone
Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is Derek Waters, creator of Drunk History. Let’s see what he’s tweeting.
November 29th: “1 of the many reasons I’m thankful for the Hamilton #DrunkHistory tonight. Love #davegrohl Wearing a “Disco Sucks” shirt. Next week spolier”
Dave Grohl was on the show? I must’ve missed that one.
November 29th: “It’s all cause of you Gags. Thank You!”
End of the season? Must be plenty of tweets after this.
January 15th: “Couldn’t be more excited and thankful to be doing this show again. Thanks to everyone who made it happen. ”
Ah, he’s like me. If he didn’t have something to promote, he probably wouldn’t be on Twitter at all.
February 10th: “Can’t wait! Get your tix below. Thank you @Chriswitaske My next guest for @SoYouDoComedy is the creator and host of @drunkhistory Derek Waters! Mon, Feb 27th @ucbtla Tix: http://bit.ly/2kNeLpN ”
I’m surprised Drunk History is a West Coast show. Felt more like it was a New York thing. Oh, well, guess that’s were all the guests are.
February 23rd: ” Doing “so you do comedy” hosted by @Chriswitaske this Monday night 830 @ucbtla #facebooklivebaby https://www.instagram.com/p/BQ3xVJWjaPM/ ”
Hmm, Derek must be too busy to tweet.
March 15th: “Great Scot-land! @ Edinburgh Castle https://www.instagram.com/p/BRq3TeuDSON/ ”
That’s a nice castle.
Okay, let’s rate Derek’s Tweets. Not much here. He’s more of a retweeter than a tweeter. I give Derek a 5 for Mustness, a 7 for Insanity and a 9 for Style. That’s an overall score of 7. Follow Derek and watch Drunk History. It’s pretty funny.
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.
Ingredients: One Margarita, six beers, bottle of spiced rum, ice cream, large glass, wastepaper basket.
Step One: Go out with girlfriend, agree to drink margarita’s with her.
Step Two: Check out hot female bartender’s ass.
Step Three: Get into argument with girlfriend, refuse to follow her out of the bar.
Step Four: Hit on hot bartender, get turned down.
Step Five: Become annoyed. Drink like six beers.
Step Six: Stagger back to campus with plastic margarita glass. Decide a root beer float should go inside it.
Step Seven: Fill margarita glass with root beer.
Step Eight: Add spiced rum while taking several sips from the bottle.
Step Nine: Put ice cream in glass.
Step Ten: Watch float bubble up and all over the table and then the floor.
Step Eleven: Drink float.
Step Twelve: Become nauseated because part of the margarita was still in glass.
Step Thirteen: Throw up in wastepaper basket, but most of it hits the side on the outside.
Step Fourteen: Call girlfriend, make drunken promises.
Step Fifteen: Realize you’ve call the Campus Information hotline and are crying to a recording.
Step Sixteen: Drink more float.
Step Seventeen: Vomit.
Step Eighteen: Decide more root beer will fix drink.
Step Nineteen: Realize there’s no more root beer.
Step Twenty: Drink much of the rest of spiced rum. Black out.
If your birthday is this week: Your surprise party will be nothing but a marketing event for a birthday cake company.
Aries: Your Tinder date will have a lot of witty comments until the police finally catch him.
Taurus: You will enjoy a cough syrup-flavored Danish.
Gemini: You’ll lose an argument online and are forced to write a long apology in the comments section of Pornhub.
Lemini: The ghost of John Lennon will ask if you can score him some pot.
Cancer: Your fortune cookie fortune will say, “Dude, seriously? You don’t believe this shit, do you?”
Leo: Turns out, your smart phone isn’t that smart and loses all your contacts.
Virgo: WikiLeaks will threaten to release those selfies you never posted.
Libra: The stars say, watch out for clowns, it’s pie season.
Scorpio: You’ll make sweet love to a robot who will autodial you relentlessly for months after.
Sagittarius: You’ll make an embarrassing mistake with a microwave and a kitten.
Capricorn: Your doctor will finally admit he’s never see that many Matchbox cars on a butt x-ray.
Aquarius: You’ll find out the NSA is tracking your Spotify tracks because they like them.
Pisces: You’ll see an ice cream truck and a hot fudge truck collide, but unfortunately, the whipped cream truck swerves out of the way.
Addanac City
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Beta Male
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Black Tail and Marz
Bunny Wiggins
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City Folk, The Webcomic
Company Man
Convenience Store Diet
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Damn Heroes
Destroyed by Robots
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The Flavor Razor
Frownland
The Funnicks
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H.I.T.
The Hero Business
Hit Girlz
I, Mummy
Java Jaguar
Ker-Bop
Kick Man
Krrobar.com
LaSalle’s Legacy
Legacy Control
Modest Medusa
Murdercake
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OutwitTrade
Plan C
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Robot Friday
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SCAPULA
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Skroode
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StocktonCon
SuperBud
Tangent Artists
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The Devil’s Panties
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Vinnie the Vampire
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