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May27

Your Memorial Day Fratoscope

by tonyd on May 27, 2018 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  You’ll get very drunk with your birthday clown.

Aries:  Turns out, the guy that bet you that you couldn’t drink an entire bottle of barbecue sauce doesn’t work for “America’s Got Talent”.

Taurus:  You’ll run out of words to reset your Apple ID password.

Gemini:  You’ll realize that the fruitcake you thought you were eating, was actually just a very colorful and tasty flip flop.

Lemini:  Donald Trump will force you to be his Secretary of Agriculture and then fire you two days later.

Cancer:  You’ll suddenly realize Space Jam had a ton of plot holes.

Leo:  A guy claiming to be Lil’ Wayne will borrow your car, then you’ll realize it wasn’t Lil’ Wayne, but then also realize that wasn’t your car.

Virgo:  The panda infestation in your basement grows out of control forcing you to stop raising bamboo in your attic

Libra:  The stars say, you will be molested by someone in a mascot costume.

Scorpio:  The hotel you’re staying at will run out of softcore porn, forcing you to masturbate to 24 hour cable TV news.

Sagittarius:  Your Pokemon monsters want to stop training for a while, they assure you it’s them and not you.

Capricorn:  You will find yourself in a life or death situation after insulting your host’s Jello.

Aquarius:  Setting off fireworks for Memorial Day is fine, but setting them off in a public library turns out to be not fine.

Pisces:  You will eat your weight in grilled meats.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, Donald Trump, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, hotel, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Lil Wayne, Mascot, Memorial Day, Pisces, Pokemon, predictions, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
Comments Off on Your Memorial Day Fratoscope
May26

Ten Things I’d Like to See During a Zombie Apocalypse

by tonyd on May 26, 2018 at 3:48 am

  1.  Zombie Walking Dead cast members.
  2.  Civility on Twitter.
  3.  Facebook stories of dying relatives becoming scary rather than sad
  4.  Shorter ATM lines
  5.  Dating profiles with pictures of canned goods to impress the ladies.
  6.  Zombie-powered bobsleds
  7.  Celebrity zombie hunts
  8.  No more Trump in the news.
  9.  Students now all heavily armed at school.
  10.  TV shows featuring zombies go out of production because no one interested in watching real life.
└ Tags: ATM lines, comedy, dating profile, facebook, funny, humor, list, Super Frat, Ten Things I'd Like to See, Tony DiGerolamo, top ten, Trump, TV, Twitter, zombie apocalypse, zombies
Comments Off on Ten Things I’d Like to See During a Zombie Apocalypse
May25

Rewritten Headlines: Dead Dorothy to Overdone Job

by tonyd on May 25, 2018 at 12:01 am

Dorothy Finally Dead

Chipotle Thinks It Invented Take Out

Family Member Not to Get Cut

Just Another Day for the Zuck

Baker Obviously Not Summa Cum Laude

A Simple Misunderstanding

Hotel Buzzkill

Big Alexa is Watching You

Marsupials Way Cooler Than You

Fox Overplays Hand

Man Does Job Too Well

└ Tags: Alexa, baker, burn down, Chipotle, comedy, current events, Dorothy, eagle, facebook, Fox, funny, humor, lottery ticket, Marsupials, News, orgy, rape charges, Rewritten Headlines, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, tornado, Zuckerberg
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May23

Frat Boy At the Movies: Avengers: Infinity War

by tonyd on May 23, 2018 at 12:52 am

You cannot possibly review this movie with any kind of clarity without SPOILERS so be warned.  They’re coming.  Overall, I enjoyed the movie, but it’s really only for those that have seen the vast majority of the Marvel films, especially Thor: Ragnarok.  The 12 year-old me would’ve described this as the perfect movie.  Wall to wall superhero battles.  However (SPOILERS)…

The movie begins right after Thor: Ragnarok ends.  The inhabitants of Vahalla are flying on what Thor calls “A Refugee Ship”.  They are attacked by Thanos, who is after the second Infinity stone.  He already has one.  What follows is mayhem, death and destruction.  The movie could’ve easily been called Avengers: Meanwhile since the movie has to cut between Thor, The Guardians of the Galaxy, the Avengers, the other Avengers and Wakanda.

The characters don’t have time to develop or breathe, which is fine if you’re all caught up.  If you’re not, you’ll be sitting there saying to yourself, “Who are all these people and why are they killing each other?”  “Why can’t Bruce Banner turn into the Hulk when he wants?”  “Who is the Vision again and why doesn’t he own a cellphone?”  “Why is Peter Dinklage the tallest guy in this movie?”

Thanos wraps the entire movie together and the plot revolves around him, but ultimately Josh Brolin’s brilliant acting can’t make an insane character with an insane plan all that interesting.  There’s just not enough scenes establishing why his character is the way he is.  There isn’t even a scene to establish why all the Asgardians are important to Thor.  Later, it has to be explained in a weird scene with Starlord.  It worked for me, but only because I had seen all the previous movies.

Ultimately, this is all just a huge set up for the final Avengers movie and the upcoming movies in between.  Antman and the Wasp are out of the Infinity War, but Captain Marvel will be a direct tie-in, which then leads back into Avengers 4 next year.  The Venom and Spiderman movies won’t connect, although the Venom and Spiderman movies may eventually do so.  It remains to be seen.

My advice, fanboys, is that if you’re not a fanboy—  See all the Marvel Movies first before you see this.  Then it will be fun.  Otherwise, you will probably be lost.  Another massive plus of this movie is that it is over 2 and a half hours long, but it moved pretty fast.  There is an important after credit sequence that leads into the next Marvel Movie.

I give Avengers: Infinity War 7 out of 10 keggers.

└ Tags: 2019, Antman and the Wasp, Asgardians, Avengers 4, Avengers: Infinity War, Bruce Banner, Captain Marvel, fanboys, film, Frat Boy at the Movies, Josh Brolin, Marvel Movie, movie, Peter Dinklage, rating, review, Spiderman, Starlord, Super Frat, Thanos, The Avengers, The Guardians of the Galaxy, The Hulk, The Vision, Thor: Ragnarok, Tony DiGerolamo, Venom, Wakanda
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