Sep05

Fat Guy Eats: Holy Tomato

by tonyd on September 5, 2018 at 12:01 am

Restaurant: Holy Tomato

Address: 9 S. Black Horse Pike, Blackwood, NJ 08012

Food:  Pizza

Price:  Average

Portions:  Decent

Taste:  Unbelievably Good!

Service:  Above and Beyond

Atmosphere:  Hipster restaurant or take out

So, my dad is a huge fan of Tomato Pies, which are basically pizza but more with shaker cheese rather than mozzarella.  Holy Tomato makes both kinds on fresh made, thin crush pizza using fresh crushed tomatoes.  And let me tell you something, they friggin’ awesome.

Now don’t get me wrong, I also like the thicker, more doughy pizza, but this is nice, thin crunchy and tasty.  It’s an amazing sauce you can make with fresh ingredients like this.  They also have a salad and yes, it too is amazing.  They put these black sesame seeds on it—  Totally makes the difference, along with the fresh ingredients.

The atmosphere is very hipster.  It’s in a converted house, kind of hard to even see as you’re driving by.  It can get a little cramped, depending on the table.  They do have tables outside in the nice weather, though.

This is the kind of pizza you’ll just keep eating until it’s gone.  And since it’s not thicker and doughy, you can.  Drinks are served in mason jars, also tasty.  It’s just a great place and you should totally go, bros!  Bonus, they bring my pizza too my car when I ask.  It’s nice that I don’t have to get out with the dog.  Above and beyond!

I give Holy Tomato 9 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

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Sep03

Ten Things You’ll Never See in a Trump Tweet

by tonyd on September 3, 2018 at 12:58 am

  1.  “I can’t wait to be interviewed on CNN tonight!”
  2.  “I disagree with that guy, but he’s okay.”
  3.  “That guy that works for me does a good job, not the best, but good.”
  4.  “All right, all right, here’s a screenshot of my tax return.”
  5.  “Donate to my Kickstarter so my band can put out a kickass album!”
  6.  “My producers said the ratings for this presidential reality show are down so we’re bombing Spain.”
  7.  “Sean Hannity took a massive dump in my bathroom and didn’t flush.  Who does that?”
  8.  “Melania is looking a little tired, vote in this poll to pick my wife for the second term.”
  9.  “There’s an MSNBC special on me tonight, watch it!”
  10.  “I’m sorry.”
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Sep02

Your Back to School Fratoscope

by tonyd on September 2, 2018 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  You realize that your professor wasn’t being sarcastic in that email about summer assignments.

Aries:  You drop your kid off at college just in time for the opening campus money fight.

Taurus:  During an alumni weekend, you finally have sex with your college crush which really surprises the guy wearing the mascot costume.

Gemini:  Your family’s hereditary addiction to Ramen finally pays off now that you’re in college.

Lemini:  Everybody will have fun tonight, except you because you didn’t Wang Chung.

Cancer:  You roommate informs you that cocaine isn’t considered a school supply for most people.

Leo:  Your roommate will insist he’s not a cannibal that his gift basket of barbecue soaps and shampoo should be used immediately.

Virgo:  You’ll find out the Freshman 50 is actually the Freshman 15 for everyone else.

Libra:  You’ll meet someone with your same major, only they graduated and now mix an excellent Latte at Starbucks.

Scorpio:  Sadly, your professors are so ugly this semester you may actually have to study rather than having sex with them.

Sagittarius:  You’ll realize that college is worthless, but at least you’ll be able to get laid a lot for a while.

Capricorn:  Your professors offer you cash to take same course with somebody else.

Aquarius:  The college refuses to take your Guitar Hero scores as a substitute for your SAT’s.

Pisces:  You’ll mix up the roommate signal and put the condom on the doorknob and the sock somewhere else.

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Sep01

Fat Guy Eats: Super Wok

by tonyd on September 1, 2018 at 12:17 am

Restaurant: Super Wok

Address:  517 Warwick Rd., Somerdale, NJ

Food:  Chinese Takeout

Price:  Average

Portions:  Decent

Taste:  Good

Service:  Good

Atmosphere:  Take Out

Super Wok is located in a plaza not too far from me and is a really decent take out place.  I usually get some kind of chicken.  At the really cheap places, it’s so fried, it’s hard to taste.  Super Wok’s chicken is cooked just right.  It has a good balance of sauce and food.  Sometimes I wish I’d get more broccoli with my General Tso’s.  It’s a little inconsistent there.  Also, my egg roll tonight was kind of bland for some reason, but I did see them making the egg rolls by hand right there.

It’s a good place.  Definitely not a sit down place though.  I think there’s only two tables.  The dumplings are also good as are the soups.  If you’re a local, this is the place to go.

I give Super Wok 7 out of 10 keggers.  Fast and good.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

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