Your Fratoscope: October 8, 2018
on October 8, 2018 at 2:09 am
If your birthday is this week: Your friends buy you many beers for your birthday and drink them in your honor as well.
Aries: You will be assaulted by a man whose only weapon is a box of donuts.
Taurus: The stars say, this is a bad week to be cloned, wait another month.
Gemini: You will pee next to your true love.
Lemini: The good news, you get a response on Tinder, the bad news is that it’s your cousin.
Cancer: Your game of Jenga ends in another trip to the hospital.
Leo: You will be berated by someone in a kilt that isn’t Scottish.
Virgo: You’ll realize that posting on Twitter for 16 straight hours isn’t healthy.
Libra: This week, maybe don’t drink cough syrup with every meal.
Scorpio: A time traveler will seduce and have sex with you, then reveal that it’s you so…
Sagittarius: You’ll realize that a portapotty is the worst place to make a grilled cheese.
Capricorn: Your garden gnomes demand you close your curtains whenever you’re in the shower.
Aquarius: Your protest against animal testing confuses everyone at the golf pro shop.
Pisces: You will foolishly believe that politics has finally settled down on the Internet.
