Aug16

Frat Boy At the Movies: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

by tonyd on August 16, 2010 at 12:01 am

Based after the popular comic book, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is a pop culture/video game-infused movie directed by the same guy that directed Sean of the Dead. Like Sean of the Dead, it’s a love story. Scott Pilgrim is dating a girl too young for him, while trying to get over his ex, when he falls in love with Ramona. Ramona has seven evil exes that Scott must defeat in battle, mostly during his band’s gigs.

The movie has a lot of strange characters and funny moments. It’s weird, surprising and fun, although it gets a little tiring during the last ten minutes. Ultimately, it’s good and full of surprises. If you’re over the age of 30, you’re probably not going to understand a good portion of it and the tone of how some of the movie plays out is merely a contrast to how you expect it to play out. Still, I say, go see it. At least you can see what the kids are into.

Michael Sera does his usual dorky guy character, although he adds an extra layer of complexity which was probably inspired by the comic book.

I have to say, even though I’ve never read more than a few pages of the comic, the movie strains to contain it. That would indicate to me that it is probably a better comic than movie, despite the fact it is a pretty decent flick.

I give Scott Pilgrim vs. the World 7.5 keggers out of 10. Definitely worth seeing in the theater. It’s a big screen movie, bros.

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Aug15

Your Fratoscope: August 15, 2010

by tonyd on August 15, 2010 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week: The stars say money matters are finally going your way, but I guess the stars didn’t see your Amex bill this month, did they? Maybe you should pay more than just the minimum balance.

Aries: Don’t shoot yourself in the living room, your surviving relatives would like those curtains behind you and they’ll never clean your brains out of them.

Taurus: Your pizza coupon will expire this week. Better order the wings.

Gemini: You’ve accomplished a lot this week, Gemini. Not everyone can puke in every room of a frat house in one party.

Lemini: Summer school will be very beneficial to you. By the end of it, you’ll clearly know the classes you’ll need to retake for the third time.

Cancer: You will not pass Go, you will not collect $200.

Leo: Your idea for making a sandwich out of sticks of butter and fried eggs will be stolen by McDonald’s.

Virgo: The stars say don’t throw batteries straight into the trash. Save them for the ballpark the next time the Detroit Tigers are in town.

Libra: Your affair with your boss’s girlfriend doesn’t end well. Turns out, he likes to date really hot transvestites.

Scorpio: Your relationship is based strictly on sex. Maybe it’s time you give your hand a rest and actually get a girlfriend.

Sagittarius: You’re feeling assertive and confident this week, but the stars say it’s only temporary until the cocaine wears off.

Capricorn: George Clooney will bump your car in a parking lot this week. He won’t leave a note, but you’ll know.

Aquarius: This week, you’ll learn an important lesson about drugs. You shouldn’t hide them inside your catalytic converter.

Pisces: You’ll order your food medium rare, but it will be well done. Turns out, it’s much better to eat pork that way.

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Aug13

Tony D’s Rejected Comedy Samples: Fake News

by tonyd on August 13, 2010 at 12:01 am

This one was a sample for an Onion-esque site. It was actually a little too like the Onion for them, but I don’t remember if I eventually got any work. Other than the Saddam references, I think it holds up pretty good.

U.S. Troops Free T.G.I. Yogurt!
Iraqis taste fat-free freedom!
Copyright 2003
by Tony DiGerolamo

Baghdad, Iraq: An unnamed spokesman for the Pentagon today confirmed that the Army’s 3rd Infantry Division had taken the T.G.I. Yogurt stand just outside Baghdad International Airport late Friday evening. The owner, Saleed Al Mohammed, thanked the coalition soldiers with a child’s size serving of Strawberry Smoothie. “I’m thinking of renaming it Freedom Smoothie. We used to have to call it the Saddam Smoothie after he visited here in 1993. Sales went right down then. No one knew what flavor it was.”
Mohammed’s neighbors and businesses along the same stretch of plaza also praised the valiant Americans. “We hate the Republican Guard,” said Kali Al Shae, a video rental store manager. “When they were in the yogurt stand, you couldn’t get any service. They were always throwing their weight around. One of them took my spork just to be mean. They’re all jerks.”
The war has been particularly tough on Ali Al Quaela, Saleed’s teenage clerk. “When Saddam was in power, no one would come into the store for days. Mohammed couldn’t pay me, so I’d bring smoothie home for my family. It was great at first, but now we’re sick of it. How much frozen yogurt can one person eat? Thank God for the Americans.”
Amidst the rubble strewn streets and abandoned bunkers made of sand bags, Saleed Al Mohommed mixes his banana-berry and orange-berry yogurt treats in anticipation of the next wave of soldiers. “There’s talk that Ben & Jerry’s will open across the street, but I already have product saturation here,” assures Saleed. “The soldiers here still need to keep on their toes. You can’t get weighted down with all that heavy chocolate. You can quote me. Frozen yogurt is here to stay!”

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Aug11

Twitter in Focus: Jamie Kennedy

by tonyd on August 11, 2010 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros! Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today we examine the tweets of the former host of the Kennedy Experiment, Jamie Kennedy. Let’s see if he tweets live up to his show or at the very least his movies.

July 12th, 9:50pm: “I don’t know why I was killed in scream 2. Its jus happened. I didn’t write script.”

Well, someone had to die and no one wanted to see the characters with great boobies get it.

July 15th, 7:44pm: “oil has stopped leaking for the first time..amazing”

Still, you should probably have that looked at.

July 16th, 5:42pm: “11 percent body fat…don’t be jealous.”

Pff. I got waaaaaaaaay more than that! You got a lot of pizza to eat to catch up to me!

July 18th, 4:45pm: “On southworst tweeting illegally, I wud rather fly in a tank. Kevin smith was right.”

I’m with ya. If I had your money, I’d pay a guy to drive me rather than fly.

July 21st, 10:25pm: “Is it against the law to wear a bra in sou beach?”

Only if you’re hot.

July 22nd, 2:35pm: “there pics of the kardashian sisters all over miami in bikinis. i was jus miami at le sandwhicheia, having a cuban pork panini, thats news”

If you had boobs, it would be a different story. Plus, you’d still be in Scream. Think about it.

July 26th, 3:53pm: “Met this guy at #comicon ….this is either a Grateful Dead Head that really let himself go or a off duty sniper http://yfrog.com/5i682dcj”

Maybe it’s just a very bad Swamp Thing costume.

July 27th, 12:50am:”this was my only friend in “78”…he never left my side or hurt me although he did scratch me, but i des http://twitpic.com/2921ph”

Aw, sad.

July 27th, 4:43pm: “real or foto shopped http://twitpic.com/298kja”

It’s real. That’s the guy that dented my hood! Well, I guess technically she did.

July 28th, 12:58am: “You get one two many sea breezes in you and before you know it you boning Blanca from Street Fighter #electricsex http://yfrog.com/44gnlkj”

I think we’ve all been there.

July 28th, 10:22pm: “Ran into Biz Markie @ Wallgreens, laughed when he yelled “You got what I nee-eed,”…until the Pharmacist handed him Valtrex #justafriend”

I’m gonna say fotoshopped.

July 30th, 1:07am: “Just got laid in the fiction section of the library…or did I? #I didn’t”

Again, I’m gonna say, fotoshopped. It was the reference desk. Plenty of time to do it there.

July 30th, 8:31pm: “Check me out on Eureka tonight @ 9! I like to party! http://bit.ly/91zSrD”

Oh, nice. That’s a good show. Regular spot or just guest starring?

August 2nd, 5:39pm: “this is an ad for donuts in thailand…do u think they sell more donuts this way? http://twitpic.com/2b2cur”

Well, to some people, I imagine yes. As for me, I just threw away a brand new box of Munchkins.

August 2nd, 8:59pm: “Just sat down at my barbers, I asked him to make me look like Dom Draper….he just laughed at me…dick #gettinganewbarber”

Zing!

August 4th, 8:04pm: “The lady at lunch today asked me why I looked familiar…I told her I was the back guy in Step Up 3D…she responded with “That’s it”…nice”

Back guy? Did you mean to type “black guy”?

August 5th, 6:52pm: “Ran into my optometrist at comicon…always with impromptu eye exams…whatever sweet face makeup http://yfrog.com/na99kkj”

Man, they’ve really expanded the scope of that show.

August 9th, 3:07pm: “I hate that most of the people on twitter who talk shit, make so u cant direct message them. bok bok bok”

That’s the internet for ya. Nothing but haters.

Jamie also ran a “what am I thinking contest”, but it was kind of a spur of the moment thing, so I figure that I’d cut that. Let’s rate his tweets. He’s pretty straight forward, interesting tidbits, sometimes funny, sometimes there’s pics. I give him a 6 for Insanity, 7 for Style and an 8 for Mustnesss. This is an overall score of 7. Definitely worth following. And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

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