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Aug29

Your Fratoscope: August 29, 2010

by tonyd on August 29, 2010 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week: You will be chased by Dog the Bounty Hunter, but escape when his mullet gets caught in a tree.

Aries: Don’t look now, but your science experiment has escaped and stolen your car. That’s what you get for playing God, douche.

Taurus: Congrats, Taurus! You finally quit smoking today! With all the money you’re not spending on cigarettes, you can afford all the heroin you need.

Gemini: Your plan to throw a cheap barbecue backfires when one of your guests finds the squirrel pelts you should’ve thrown away.

Lemini: You still haven’t killed yourself? Man you have a tolerance for a sucky life.

Cancer: The stars say, Eddie Murphy will give you a ride. But only because he likes your dress, dude.

Leo: Finally, your business plans come together. The recycling plant takes your entire shopping cart of crushed soda cans. Don’t spend that 23 cents all in one place.

Virgo: It turns out, the hot dog people you’re seeing are not stealing your underwear. Your apartment has a gas leak.

Libra: You will vomit on a special someone this week. Congrats!

Scorpio: Your networking at the orgy is inappropriate, but it still gets you a job a dildo factory.

Sagittarius: You will gain super powered nipples after a terrible accident.

Capricorn: Good news, Capricorn! You will— Oh, wait, did I say Capricorn? Shit, you’re fucked dude.

Aquarius: A fast food sandwich meat will turn out to be an endangered species. Apparently, a bald eagle fell into the meat grinder at the McDonald’s factory.

Pisces: You will find a Monet painting at the Big Lots. It’ll look great in your trailer until the fire.

└ Tags: 2010, astrology, August 29, college, comedy, frat, fraternity, funny, horoscope, humor, parody, signs, Your Fratoscope
1 Comment
Aug28

Coming Soon: The Horror on Colony 6!

by tonyd on August 28, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Hey Bros!

Check out the trailer for our new strip on the Webcomic Factory!

└ Tags: horror, sci-fi, The Horror of Colony 6, The Webcomic Factory, webcomics
Comments Off on Coming Soon: The Horror on Colony 6!
Aug27

Tony D’s Rejected Comedy Samples: Parody Song of F*** You

by tonyd on August 27, 2010 at 12:01 am

This one is kind of interesting only because it just go turned down. There’s this sketch group out in San Francisco I sometimes sell sketches to. They do music numbers and comedy, mostly on political stuff. They thought this song parody was too long and repetitive. I could see that, but it’s a tough song to parody. I thought I had one good line in it. Anyhow, here’s the real song in a video, which if you haven’t heard, is awesome. Then below, the parody lyrics. Sing along!

Fuck You Mosque Protestors
Written by Tony DiGerolamo
Copyright 2010

(Sung to the tune of “Fuck You” by Cee Lo)

I see you protesting a mosque that they’re building downtown and I’m like, “Fuck You”, ooo, ooo, ooo!

I guess Freedom of Religion wasn’t enough and I’m like, “Fuck You and your protest too!”

I said, “If I were Christian, I’d ask just one question…”
Ha, what would Jesus do?
(What would Jesus do?)
And although you think you’re a hero
For protecting Ground Zero,
“Fuck You”, ooo, ooo, ooo!

Oh, can’t you see? This country is free?
But that don’t mean you can’t get upset.
A community center, makes life a little better,
Don’t give your fellow Americans shit.

I pity you fooooools,
That protest this with you.
(Thinking with fear’s shitty.)
Well…
(You don’t even live in the city.)
Oooooooo, I’ve got some news for you.
I remember what the Constitution says.

I see you protesting a mosque that they’re building downtown and I’m like, “Fuck You”, ooo, ooo, ooo!

I guess Freedom of Religion wasn’t enough and I’m like, “Fuck You and your protest too!”

I said, “If I were Christian, I’d ask just one question…”
Ha, what would Jesus do?
(What would Jesus do?)
And although you think you’re a hero
For protecting Ground Zero,
“Fuck You”, ooo, ooo, ooo!

Now I know, that come tomorrow,
You’ll get distracted by other news.
A country divided should be united.
Cause fighting amongst ourselves we’ll lose.

I pity the fooooools,
That protest this with you.
(Thinking with fear’s shitty.)
Well…
(You don’t even live in the city.)
Oooooooo, I’ve got some news for you.
Don’t you people have anything better to do?

I see you protesting a mosque that they’re building downtown and I’m like, “Fuck You”, ooo, ooo, ooo!

I guess Freedom of Religion wasn’t enough and I’m like, “Fuck You and your protest too!”

I said, “If I were Christian, I’d ask just one question…”
Ha, what would Jesus do?
(What would Jesus do?)
And although you think you’re a hero
For protecting Ground Zero,
“Fuck You”, ooo, ooo, ooo!

Now baby, baby, baby,
Why ya wanna see the building so gone?
(So gone, so gone, so gone.)
Don’t know they got a mosque
Right inside the US Pentagon?
(Been there, so long, so long.)

Uhhh!
Why?
Uhhh!
Why?
Uhh!
Why, you protest?

Oh!
Get over it!
Oh!
It’s just a building!
Ohhhh!

I see you protesting a mosque that they’re building downtown and I’m like, “Fuck You”, ooo, ooo, ooo!

I guess Freedom of Religion wasn’t enough and I’m like, “Fuck You and your protest too!”

I said, “If I were Christian, I’d ask just one question…”
Ha, what would Jesus do?
(What would Jesus do?)
And although you think you’re a hero
For protecting Ground Zero,
“Fuck You”, ooo, ooo, ooo!

└ Tags: Ground Zero Mosque, lyrics, Parody Song of F*** You, Tony D's Rejected Comedy Samples
1 Comment
Aug25

Twitter in Focus: Chris Hardwick the Nerdist

by tonyd on August 25, 2010 at 12:01 am

Hello bros and welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is actor and fellow nerd (so much so that he’s a “nerdist”) Chris Hardwick, voice of Green Arrow in the Batman cartoon. Let’s see how nerdy his tweets actually get.

July 23rd, 10:06pm: “via MichaelJaiWhite: Yes yes Y’awl! There will be another BLACK DYNAMITE and it will be even blacker and more dynamitey!”

That’s way better news then, say, announcing another sequel to the Spawn movie!

August 21st, 10:56am: “Whovians! TROCK=Timelord Rock and it is here–>http://afx.cc/trock”

Wow. That…that is a geeky link. I have to go look at some porn just to balance it out.

August 21st, 2:17pm: “I’m lost in the Barton Creek Mall!!! Weary…Might not make it out…May have set up camp in tent made of novelty wieners from Spencers…”

Oh, no! If those wieners are from Spencers those are not wieners! Repeat, not wieners! Still, it would be funny to see a tent made out of giant rubber dildos.

August 22nd, 2:17am: “THIS is a frakking NEWS STORY?? http://bit.ly/a9j0xT Oh, humans… #doublefacepalm”

Wow, can’t set the bar much lower than that…unless you’re CNN. Oh! ba-doom! Zing!

August 22nd, 4:36pm: “G’bye Austin! Wonderful dinner w/ @jaime_king & @kyle_newman plus 6 amazingly fun shows thanks to hundreds of huggable nerds! Philly next!”

Nice! My neck of the woods. A word of advice, though, don’t hug anyone, especially those dressed as Green Man.

August 23rd, 7:02pm: “Just did @chelsealately. Funtastic! Methinks it airs tonight on the tv picture box. Also chatted briefly with @eliroth who was delightful.”

Why was Eli Roth in the room while you were banging Chelsea Lately?

August 23, 8:09pm: “HILARIOUS. Check out Rockin’ Rod Blagojevic at The Chicago Con on geekchicdaily.com. http://j.mp/c9iGO2”

Hmmm, I wonder what kind of comic books he buys. What villain has big hair? Evil Elvis?

19 hours ago: “Nerdist Podcast #33 is up! The hilarious and insightful @PFTompkins–> http://afx.cc/pft #consumenow”

Nice, twitter account and podcast. You are fully in the Internet age.

9 hours: “Bikers unite! @peeweeherman goes to Sturgis, meets hogmasters, philosophical biker mamas & TV’s Renegade: http://afx.cc/pwsturgis”

I guess beneath every biker is a nerd waiting to spring free and do the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance.

7 hours ago: “YESYESYES!!! Walking Dead trailer up! This will be the best new show of the year–>http://afx.cc/walkingdead #youwatchnow”

Looks pretty wicked cool. It’ll be interesting to see how long it lasts.

Okay, not bad. Chris clearly has lots to offer. I think the main stuff is on his blog, but if you’re a twitterfile, it’s a good place to skim the highlights. I give the Nerdist a 7 for Style, a 7 for Insanity and a 7 for Mustness. That’s a straight up 7 overall, totally worth a click.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: Chris Hardwick the Nerdist, comedy, dork, funny, geek, humor, nerd, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
1 Comment
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