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Apr24

Your Fratoscope: April 24, 2011

by tonyd on April 24, 2011 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  Your all-hobo production of Rent gets rave reviews.  Homeless people everywhere ask for your autograph along with any spare change you might have.

Aries:  You will visit one of the cleanest restaurant bathrooms in history this week.  Enjoy.

Taurus:  The stars say, you’ll be struck in the head by a very delicious cookie.  It hurts so good.

Gemini:  Your attempt at shooting your own version of the TV show COPS goes horribly wrong.  It turns out, hiring actors to commit crime is also illegal.

Lemini:  Your dog poops on the stairs.  He’s not sick, he just thinks you stepping in it is hilarious.

Cancer:  You will mishear your neighbor’s invitation to his “Boxing Day” party.  It turns out, he just wants you in his yard so he can hit you.

Leo:  Your version of the Bible becomes an instant best seller, until its revealed that Jesus did not look like a bar skank in a bikini bottom and wet t-shirt.

Virgo:  Good news!  That party your roommate drags you to turns out to be cool and you end up in a make out session on someone’s couch.  Unfortunately, when you sober up, it turns out to be your roommate.

Libra:  Good news!  You’ll finally get to make out with your Virgo roommate.

Scorpio:  You collection of antique strap-ons will be stolen.  Better replace that lock.

Sagittarius:  Your hidden camera reveals that your dog hasn’t been rubbing his ass against the carpet.  Unfortunately, while it clears your pet, it does implicate your boyfriend pretty strongly.

Capricorn:  A reporter will interview you for his newspaper column, but about halfway through he’ll just mutter, “Fuck this.  I’m closing the paper.”

Aquarius:  Avoid trees.  You’re being stalked by an extremely nimble and evolved octopus.

Pisces:  Get your oil changed.  It’s time.

└ Tags: Aires, Aquarius, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, future, Gemini, horoscope, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces, predictions, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Who is full of Awesome? with Tony DiGerolamo, zodiac
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Apr23

The Walk Show: Premiere

by tonyd on April 23, 2011 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to the premiere of my new Youtube Show, the Walk Show! I go for a walk and see what happens.

└ Tags: comedy, funny, historic, humor, Laurel Springs, New Jersey, Russ, small town, suburbs, Super Frat, The Walk Show, Tony DiGerolamo, video, walking, Walt Whitman, Whitman Stafford House
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Apr22

Frat Boy At the Movies: Source Code

by tonyd on April 22, 2011 at 12:01 am

Jake Gyllenhaal and Michelle Monaghan star in this much more serious and action-packed version of Groundhog Day.  Gyllenhaal is a soldier that must relieve a commuter train disaster over and over again, eight minutes at a time, so he can figure out who bombed a train.  The bomber has a bigger one coming.

Most of the movie rests on Gyllenhaal’s performance and he’s engaging as the earnest pilot trying to figure out what’s going on with the bomb and what’s going on with his life.  It’s hard to describe more without giving away the surprises.

Director Duncan Jones doles out the information at a nice steady pace.  The movie suffers a little bit from “Why didn’t he already know that?” and “Why can’t they just answer his questions the first time?”  But by the end of the first reel, it settles down and it’s not really a problem.

Sci-fi geeks will probably tear apart writer Ben Ripley’s pseudo-science, but the movie is paced well enough and the characters likable enough that you don’t really care.  And once you get out in the parking lot, you can pretty much forgive the film makers.

Like a lot of movies, the ultimate message is, make the most out of life, no matter what kind of life you might have or how much time you have.  Because you never know when you might get blown up on a train.

Yes, all the rumors are true.  It’s a decent flick worth seeing.  I give Source Code 8 out of 10 keggers.

└ Tags: action, Ben Ripley, cinema, critic, Duncan Jones, explosion, film, Frat Boy at the Movies, good, Jake Gyllenhaal. Michelle Monaghan, movie, Source Code, Super Frat, thriller, Tony DiGerolamo, train
2 Comments
Apr20

Twitter in Focus: Seth MacFarlane

by tonyd on April 20, 2011 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  This week’s contestant is the legendary, Seth MacFarlane, creator of some of my favorite cartoons: Family Guy, American Dad and the Cleveland Show.  His toons are epic.  Let’s see if his tweets match.

April 14th:  “To every future co-worker’s daughter ‘til the end of time: no thanks, I would not like to buy some Girl Scout cookies.”

What?  Not even thin mints?

April 15th:  “Not enough people writing hit poems.”

Well, you know how the poetry circuit ruins poets.  Cocaine, groupies, late nights, the booze—  It’s the lifestyle.

April 15th:  “#FF @TheBiggIdea. He’s the one guy who works for me who’s never tweeted a joke about Japan.”

Yeah, tweeting jokes about Japan’s disaster is wrong.  On the upside, now that sushi comes pre-microwaved, maybe more people will eat it.

April 15th:  “RT@RedStatePolitics:Rich people are assholes for being rich, but they deserve tax cuts so they can stay rich and be continue to be assholes.”

If I could afford a better education, I’m sure I’d see the airtight logic in that.

April 15th:  “It seems the older Charlie Sheen gets, then more he looks like the Decepticon logo.”

I could see it now, Two and a Half Decepticons: Megatron, Starscream and their nephew/son, Soundwave all living in a Malibu beach house.

April 15th:  “RT @joshsdugger: it seems like the more you tweet the unfunnier you guy. // Is this today’s “Jumble”?”

Yeah, this is why I analyze tweets rather than post them.  It’s also why I hitchhike instead of drive.

April 15th:  “I bet there’s one guy in every airport ground crew who can’t turn his orange stick on without making a lightsaber sound.”

I got $20 says this is going to be a cut away on Family Guy.  It’ll be the same guy, in a parody of the Star Wars kid, and he probably damages the plane.  Probably add some kind of reference to Southwest.

April 16th:  “China is allowing the sale of small, airtight keychains that contain live animals– an atrocity on par with cat juggling. #NavinJohnson”

They’re probably not alive very long if its airtight.  Unless they consider mold a live animal.

April 17th:  “Unfortunately at no point during my workday does anyone ever have cause to shout my name and then toss me a sword.”

That’s only because Orcs rarely attack Los Angeles.

April 18th:  “”I made your bed. Now would you like me to un-make it?” – turndown service”

Man, I think the turndown service is coming onto you, bro.

April 18th:  “RT @RepPaulRyan: In my plan, the elderly won’t just die alone on sidewalks. People will probably stop and watch.”

As a Libertarian, I’m outraged no one will be charging the spectators.

April 18th:  “Thor is like every other superhero, only beardier.”

I’m just glad they didn’t cast Zach Galifianakis, apparently the only other guy in Hollywood with a beard.

April 18th:  “I would not have wanted to use a bathroom after John Wayne.”

Who wants to use a bathroom after anyone else uses it?  If I could cut my used bathroom off my house and install another like a roll of toilet paper, I would.

April 18th:  ““When kids run away from home, gay stuff happens.” –Peter Pan, in tweet form”

Fun Fact, the Stonewall riots actually started in Neverland.

11 hours ago:  ““Wouldn’t it suck to be homeless? Come try it.” — campgrounds”

Yeah, sleeping on the ground is not my thing either.

Okay, let’s rate Seth’s tweets.  He’s got some solid material, a plug here and there and retweets.  I give him a 7 for Insanity, an 8 for Mustness and a 10 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 8.3.  Gotta follow Seth.  You can read all his tweets in Peter’s voice!

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: American Dad, animator, cartoons, comedy, Family Guy, funny, humor, Seth McFarlane, social media, Super Frat, The Cleveland Show, Tony DiGerolamo, tweets, Twitter, Twitter in Focus, voice
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