Super Frat

Dec24

Ten Holiday Specials You’ll Never See

by tonyd on December 24, 2012 at 12:01 am

1. How the Drone Killed Santa

2. The Year No One Bought a Bunch of Useless Shit

3. Scrooge Meets the Cast of the Jersey Shore

4. Frosty the Racist

5. How the Little Drummer Boy Got Sued by Metallica

6. A Very Twilight Christmas

7. Merry Christmas, Charlie Sheen!

8. It’s a Wonderful Life Insurance Policy

9. Rudolf and the Island of Chinese Lead-Based Painted Toys

10. How the Grinch Stole Justin Bieber’s Virginity

└ Tags: Charlie Sheen, comedy, Frosty, funny, holiday specials, humor, Jersey Shore, Justin Bieber, list, Metallica, names, parody, Rudolf, Santa, Scrooge, specials, Super Frat, ten, Ten Holiday Special You'll Never See, Ten Things You'll Never See, Tony DiGerolamo

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Dec23

Your Christmas Fratoscope

by tonyd on December 23, 2012 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week: Sucks to be you. You will once again not get as many gifts as you would if you were born in August.

Aries: Your PS3 will come with the body of a dead Elf. Apparently, he got caught in the gift wrapping machine and no one noticed.

Taurus: Once again, you’ll spend the day after Christmas cleaning reindeer shit out of your gutters.

Gemini: The stars say, if Christmas is that overwhelming to you, maybe it’s time to consider another religion. Most Hindus don’t have a mental breakdown shopping in Target on December.

Lemini: Either you were really bad or your cookies are tainted because Santa takes a shit in your stocking.

Cancer: Your snowman will come to life and demand you cover him on your healthcare.

Leo: Your attempt to buy all your family’s gift in the same store will fail, as the gas station minimart only has so much stuff to sell.

Virgo: You will either be given a very realistic looking stuffed animal or your boyfriend will wrap the puppy he got for you way too tight.

Libra: You will finally get the zombie apocalypse kit you’ve always wanted. Now it’s a waiting game.

Scorpio: Once again, you’ll go on a shopping spree at the dildo shop in an attempt to use up last year’s gift certificate.

Sagittarius: You will find Santa banging your roommate. The mystery of why she gets so many gifts each year has been solved.

Capricorn: You will be visited by three ghosts. They will all try to sell you on insurance.

Aquarius: This week, you will be filled with the Christmas spirit or as you like to call it, “Meth”.

Pisces: You’ll hit the Christmas Krampus with your car. Now you’ll have to take care of the horrible children he was carrying.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, Chirstmas, comedy, frat boy, funny, Gemini, Holiday, horoscope, humor, Krampus, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac

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Dec22

Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Magic Cookie Bars

by tonyd on December 22, 2012 at 12:01 am

Ingredients: One bong, dime bag, glass baking pan, one cup condensed milk, two cups chocolate chip cookies, 1.5 cups of Graham Cracker crumbs, two sticks of butter, one cup of walnuts

Step 1: Decide to get high, break out chronic.

Step 2: Smoke weed, become famished.

Step 3: Go to pantry to eat chocolate chips straight from the bag, notice recipe on bag.

Step 4: Get stick of butter, place in pan, put pan in oven.

Step 5: Play video games.

Step 6: Remember cookie project, check oven, realize that it’s off.

Step 7: Put on oven, smoke weed while it heats up.

Step 8: Mix Graham cracker crumbs with butter to create crust.

Step 9: Eat mouthful of Graham cracker crumbs.

Step 10: Sprinkle chocolate chips over crumbs.

Step 11: Pour in condensed milk.

Step 12: Place pan in oven.