Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is Jason Alexander, AKA: George Constanza from Seinfeld. He’s funny on the show, let’s see what he’s tweeting.
December 16th: “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. ― Einstein I love this quote.”
That’s a pretty good quote. I also like “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
December 16th: “I had a joyous time recording this wonderful book. You might enjoy. https://mobile.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Elevating-Overman-A-Novel-Audiobook/B00R1UBOPC?s=s …”
You know, I could see the George Constanza character reading the “For Dummies…” books, only he gets frustrated half way through and just screams, “Forget it! Forget it!”
December 16th: “Happy Chanukah, my friends.”
What’s the Jewish version of Festivus, I wonder.
December 17th: “actually got into a discussion tonight on which was better – Quisp or Quake. Anyone remember? Anyone care? Anyone vote?”
Quake. Breakfast cereal makes a terrible video game.
December 17th: “I did a very funny, fun and poignant book on tape – Elevating Overman. If you’d like a copy, here t’is. https://itun.es/us/rDpX4 ”
That’s pretty sweet. How does the author make any money, I wonder? Commercials in the book?
December 17th: “Just wanted you all to know, Quisp totally p’owned Quake. And i agree with the voters :)”
Wow, people really love cereal.
December 18th: “Ah, the joys of sitting in a gastroenterologist office.”
Could be worse. You could be sitting in the penis doctor’s office.
December 19th: “What I Wish Sony Said and Did Read: http://tl.gd/n_1sjajla ”
Yeah, they’ll never do that. In my view, Sony’s first question was, “How can we make even more money on this?” Word is, NK probably wasn’t the hackers.
December 19th: “Yes, in my previous looooong tweet, the first sentence should refer to the leader of NORTH Korea, not South. Oops.”
Kind of like a twitter blog, I guess. It all comes back to Tumblr.
19 hours ago: “This may fall under “Jews don’t get it” but what is the deal with eggnog? What the hell am I drinking here?”
Liquid candy cane mixed with cream and booze. We goyim want to get drunk and get diabetes.
19 hours ago: “HAPPY FESTIVUS! May ur pole be straight, ur feats be strong & your grievances be few. With love from the Costanzas – Frank, Estelle, George”
I have grievances!
Okay, let’s rate Jason’s twitter. Some behind-the-scenes, no plugs and some decent links. I give him a 7 for Mustness, a 9 for Style and a 9 for Insanity. That’s an overall score of 8.3. Follow Jason.
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.
Webcomic: Fowl Language
Creator: Brian Gordon
Format: Single to Four Panel, gag-a-day comic strips, color
Updates: Mondays and Fridays
Genre: Comedy, slice-of-life, autobiographical
Themes: Fatherhood, family, work, geekiness
Characters: A family of ducks that act like humans
Archive: Begins July 22, 2013
Brian has got a good sense of human and finds some hilarious things to say, especially about fatherhood and living the life of a suburban parent. His art style is simple and exactly what it needs to be. The strip follows the same characters, but it’s a gag-a-day format, so storylines don’t last more than a day. Still, he infuses a lot of character in Dicky Duck, his brother Tommy and his kids and wife. I think his best strips are those when he’s talking about being a dad.
I really have no complaints about this strip. (Although, Brian, if you see this, January 27, 2014 strip is down for some reason.) Add Fowl Language to your bookmarks.
If your birthday is this week: You’ll find mommy kissing Santa Claus deep, with lots of tongue.
Aries: It’s pasty, white and thick, but don’t drink it. That ain’t egg nog! Ewwwww!
Taurus: A guy in a red suit comes down your chimney, but he takes the flat screen and makes a run for it out you front door.
Gemini: Some green douchebag attempts to steal your roast beast, but you knock him unconscious and call the cops in time.
Lemini: Your grandma will get run over by a reindeer and some sick fuck will write a song glorifying her death.
Cancer: You’ll find a drunken Elf passed out inside one of your gift boxes. Apparently, your iPad’s still at the North Pole.
Leo: Your Christmas ornaments come to life and scream, “Oh, God! We have hooks through our faces! The agony! Ahhhh!”
Virgo: The pot cookies you baked for Santa means that no one past the Eastern Seaboard gets presents before January.
Libra: You will spend Friday shoveling reindeer shit off your roof.
Scorpio: The mistletoe tattoo over your genitals does not go over well at the office Christmas party.
Sagittarius: Your Christmas shopping is quick, but only because you buy everything at a gas station on December 24th.
Capricorn: It’s a rough flight for Santa, so your stocking is mostly full of elf vomit.
Aquarius: Frosty the Snowman comes to life, pins you to the ground, pees you and screams, “How do you like it?!”
Pisces: You will be visited by three entertaining ghosts: Moe, Larry and Curly.