I can’t stop playing this fucking game. It’s so simple, yet…so maddening. I may need rehab. But here are the Ten Things I Learned from Clash of Clans.
1. Dragons have no sense of direction.
2. Lightning potions are incredibly unfair when you’re trying to store black elixir.
3. Pink elixir is almost useless after you’ve been playing the game a few months.
4. Everyone with an asymmetrical, weird shaped fort is a dick.
5. I never have enough gold!
6. Dropping a potion in the wrong spot is worst thing in the world to happen.
7. Archer towers are genius at targeting when I’m attacking them, but idiots when defending my castle.
8. If I raid a castle every 30 minutes, I can hit about 32 castles in a day or 40 if I only sleep four hours.
9. Everything but goblins, barbarians and wall breakers are too expensive to use, but I’m upgrading them all anyway.
10. Tapping on the screen harder does nothing!