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Mar05

Twitter in Focus: Andy Milonakis

by tonyd on March 5, 2014 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is Andy Milonakis who is back, in a very funny way, on the Kroll Show.  Let’s see what’s he’s tweeting.

@AndyMilonakis

March 2nd:  “Sorry, I don’t watch Walking Dead….I need to save time for a better show #GAMEOFTHRONES :)”

I hear that.

March 3rd:  “HAHAHAH The ending of Gravity.”

Such a brutally bad movie.

March 3rd: “Wha gwan?”

Nudden mch.

March 3rd: “I thought I told you that we won’t stop, I thought I told you that we won’t stop eh eh, eh eh”

Rap stuff.  What’s the emoticon for “drop a beat”?

March 3rd:  “I thought Gravity was supposed to be somewhat believable. It was enjoyable to watch but such bullshit”

Who builds a capsule that doesn’t float?  Or that has a hatch below the water line?

March 3rd:  “THE OSCARS: AKA THE WHITE GUILTSCARS”

Yeah, I can’t watch it anymore.  At least Seth McFarlane was a fun host last year.

March 3rd:  “RAP GAME ADELLE DAZEEM”

No idea.

March 3rd:  “This is the island in Greece where my crazy daddy was born and raised. CRETE pic.twitter.com/w9CtbKx37F … EATING GOAT WITH MOONSHINE GANG”

Neat.

March 3rd:  “Before you go to the most touristy islands in Greece. Get some culture! Another sick Crete picture @livingincrete http://www.west-crete.com/dailypics/crete-2014/1-29-14.php …”

This!  Is!  Crete!

March 3rd:  “Knees Down should smoke some rare hash in Amsterdam that makes him walk again RT @ibambam69 will we be seeing you n #MacAndDev2 @wizkhalifa”

That’s what Sgt. Dan should’ve done in Forest Gump.

March 3rd:  “Can’t, just close your eyes and imagine a flesh colored walrus RT @morgannnjay @AndyMilonakis hey send me a nude it’s my birthday”

Ewww.

18 hours ago:  “My Travolta name is Ayden Morvis. ……….Travoltify your name http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/low_concept/2014/03/john_travolta_called_idina_menzel_adele_dazeem_what_s_your_travolta_name.html …”

That was quick!  Mine is Teejay Dorniels.

18 hours ago:  “CRETE http://www.wallpapersax.com/wallpapers/2013/04/greece-gramvousa-crete-1800×2880.jpg … :)”

That’s a sweet beach, bro.

14 hours ago:  “When I think about leaving the country my brain feels like it’s going to explode with mindgasms…..FUCKKKK”

Wait, do you mean the country, like the US or the country like the country?

11 hours ago:  “Sherlock :) http://instagram.com/p/lH9ShmCYJs/”

Ha.  Nice.

9 hours ago:  “Unhacking my Pansonic GH2. Pretty normal thing to do at 9am with no sleep.”

Someone hacked your camera?  They’re hacking everything.  Hope no one hacks my fridge.  They might take my cheese stick.

8 hours ago:  “If hangovers hit me less hard I would be an alcoholic. I haven’t slept all night and I just feel like having a bottle of wine for breakfast”

I do the same thing, only with potato chips and candy bars.

8 hours ago:  “You forgot the h RT @paigefickes @AndyMilonakis sit on my face”

Sith on my face?  You really like Star Wars.

4 hours ago:  “youtube.com/watch?v=CdqoNKCCt7A …”

I didn’t like this song the first time it came out, but I’m sure you’re appreciating it more ironically.

Okay, let’s rate Andy’s tweets.  As suspected, Andy is pretty nuts.  I give him a 9 for Mustness, a 9 for Style and a 10 for Insanity.  That’s a 9.3.  Pretty high, probably like Andy.  Follow him and catch his character on the Kroll Show.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: Andy Milonakis, comedy, Crete, funny, Greece, humor, Kroll Show, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, Twitter in Focus
Comments Off on Twitter in Focus: Andy Milonakis
Mar03

Life Skills for Fanboys: The New Image?

by tonyd on March 3, 2014 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

Life Skills for Fanboys:  The New Image?

written by Tony DiGerolamo, Copyright 2014

To further my goal of helping fellow fanboys, I have included an index of links of previous columns with their topics.  Don’t take it personal, I’m just trying to help.  Previous columns are indexed at the end.

This week, I’d like to deviate a little from my normal column and respond to an interesting speech given by Eric Stephenson, the current publisher of Image Comics.  You can read the speech at the link.  Generally, I thought it was a very positive thing and he made some good points.  But I had a few additional thoughts.

In a nutshell, the speech is about getting comics away from superheroes, expanding the audience for women and capitalizing on the Image success such as the Walking Dead (which I’ve heard of) and Saga (which I haven’t).

The Cynic in Me

The cynic in me says, “Well, that’s very nice.  Guess it’s just a coincidence that Image has gotten away from superheroes and here you are, making a speech in front of retailers saying that it’s time to expand.”  Well, yeah, that’s what I’d say too if my company wasn’t really printing superheroes any more.

The problem, as I see it, is about buttering up the retailers to do more work.  Stephenson urges them to “Do more signings. Plan more sales. Throw parties. Invite writers and artists to speak at your store, or in your community, as an adjunct to regular signings.”  I’m all for it.  Comic book stores that do this sort of thing on a regular basis create a bigger community for the fan base to rally around.  Unfortunately, it also costs money, time and effort, something that a lot of stores that are hanging by a thread don’t have.  If some entity with money could perhaps subsidize such events while promoting their product, that would go a long way to getting stores to do this.

I wonder who has made millions of dollars on a zombie-related comic book recently that might be able to invest in the future?  Hmmm.

The Last Time This Happened

Back in the 90’s, when comic books exploded and everyone was making money, there was precious little attention paid to investing in the future.  The money went into variant covers, reissues, better paper stock and more titles that were just rip offs of other titles already on the shelf.  Almost nothing went to expanding the market or audience.  I think part of the reason was that most publishers sensed that the uptick was temporary and wanted to cash in before it was over.

When it imploded, we had many years of just terrible superhero comics.  The law of diminishing returns meant that publishers were even less willing to expand.  Prior to the bust the excuse was “that won’t sell” and after the excuse was “we can’t afford to take a risk now”.

In his speech, Stephenson puts down franchise comics based on movies and TV shows (which he doesn’t publish) and retreads of superheroes, which he mostly doesn’t publish.  Generally, I agree with that sentiment, but I have to point out that Dynamite Comics published great short runs based on movies and did crossovers that you wouldn’t see in movies like Army of Darkness Ash and Darkman.  If you’re going to get a hold of the franchise, that’s the kind of stuff you have to do with it: something the fans can’t get in the movies.

But when Stephenson says stuff like, “You stop ordering variants (covers); we’ll stop making them.”  So you don’t like variants and think they are bad for the industry, but you’ll keep making money on them as long as they sell, is my interpretation of that message.

If you want to lead the industry, Eric, lead by example.  It would’ve been much better if you announced, “Image Comics is no longer going to produce variant covers…” for the reasons you listed in your own speech.  They are just there to bump up the numbers.  The numbers, by the way, which don’t even reflect readers, but the amount of paper pushed on comic book stores through distributors.

If you wanted to get a real accurate count of how many sales actually turn into readers, some millionaire publishing concern might invest some money into a process.  Perhaps they could offer a prize for fans that punch in a printed code in the back of an issue for some survey information.  It could be an exclusive digital download to save on overhead.  They you could, perhaps, track real demographics and readership.

Or you could just switch to webcomics, that was my call.

The Future of Comics

Eric talks a bit about the future of the industry and comics and blah, blah, blah.  All good stuff.  But I would say, a publisher has to lead.  Stop pushing retailers to do it.  Retailers will always be around if stuff sells, whether it’s also selling in Target and WalMart or not.  In fact, back in the 90’s, comics also sold in places like WalMart and it didn’t really have any impact on the stores.  WalMart was just another avenue to attract more fans, who would eventually graduate to a “real” comic book store so they would stop missing issues and make sure they could get the service that a large store like WalMart was unlikely to give a comic book collector.

I’m one of those people, by the way, screaming on the sidelines that “Print is dead!”.  (My own, self-serving motto.)  And the digital/webcomic model is another chance for Image to lead with its deep pockets.  Back in the 90’s, when publishers signed all these “exclusive deals” with Diamond, Image had an opportunity to break away.  Stick with all the little distributors and keep them afloat.  I think it would’ve been a huge boon to Image and the industry itself.  Something they’d be reaping now.

Unfortunately, I think the Image reputation (and this is totally my opinion) is still a bit, well, money-grubbing.  So the idea that suddenly image is about creators and stories and building the industry—  Well, I’d like to believe that.  I really would.

But Image has a chance to lead again because of its money.  Those of us that live in the world of digital and webcomics could use the leg up and Image needs the content.  Why not invest the Image millions in bringing our many diverse audiences to you?  I know, I know, the retailers will have a fit.  They always do when you mention webcomics.  They think we’re stealing customers, but we’re actually expanding the market.  Much like iTunes and other online systems helped expand and bring music to people in efficiently.

That’s always been the problem with comics.  Although the direct market saved comic books, it is still a clunky mechanism where consumers order their product months in advance.  The stores are still mostly testosterone-laden boys’ clubs, whereas digital can be for anybody.  And there are a ton of webcomics that appeal to women and the very audiences that you claim to want in the stores and at Image in your speech.

Any how, nice speech and that’s my advice.  More webcomics, Eric.  Come to us.  Recruit us.  Be one of us.

One of us, one of us, one of us…

Previous Columns

Obesity at Cons

The Art of Conversation

Grooming

The Line Between Fans and Pros

Geek Elitism

Convention Panels

Convention Volunteers

Food Gifts

Women and Cons

Get Your Room Party Together

Stop Bringing Your Kids to Cons

The Face of Geek Needs Work

Fixing the Face of Geek

Franchise Worship

Presenting Your Project

└ Tags: comic books, ComicsPRO, Eric Stephenson, Image Comics, Life Skills for Fanboys, print comics, speech, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, webcomics
Comments Off on Life Skills for Fanboys: The New Image?
Mar02

Your Fratoscope: March 2, 2014

by tonyd on March 2, 2014 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  Your birthday gift will be confiscated by the cops and regifted to the one of the cop’s relatives.  That’s a shame, because it was some really good pot.

Aries:  The stars say, cancel that trip to the Ukraine.  Shit’s about to get real.

Taurus:  You will eat the third greatest tasting plate of waffles ever created.

Gemini:  You will move your 2 o’clock to 3:30 and then your 3:30 to 5pm, but you’ll still have time to watch Workaholics.

Lemini:  You will get drunk and make sweet love to a bus stop bench.  It will be magical.

Cancer:  Captain America will come to your house and show you several pamphlets on why Europe is such a great place to live.

Leo:  Someone will throw potatoes at you and then sour cream.

Virgo:  Your dog does not have rabies, but he has eaten all the toothpaste in your apartment.

Libra:  You will find your baker’s retainer in the last slice of cake he baked for you.

Scorpio:  Your orgy will be lightly attended due to snow, but extended into Monday.

Sagittarius:  Your planned “Drink and Draw” turns into just “Drink and Puke”.

Capricorn:  Without any salt, kitty litter or other grit to throw on your driveway, you end up spreading chocolate chips and jimmies everywhere.  It doesn’t do much for traction, but it looks delicious.

Aquarius:  The members of your cult will vote you out.

Pisces:  You will build several snowmen in obscene positions on your front lawn

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, frat boy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, lol, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
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Mar01

Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies

by tonyd on March 1, 2014 at 12:01 am

TonyAngry

Movies are expensive, bros and I got Netflix.  So if you want my ass in the theater seat, you’d better deliver or at least lower the price of popcorn.  I used to see all the movies that came out, but not any more.  Here now is Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies.

Mr. Peabody and Sherman:  Sorry, I’m a fan of the original, which is perfect.  You reimagine my childhood, I’m out.

Divergent:  Hmm, that’s a funny way to spell Twilight 5.  (6 if you count Vampire Academy, 8 if you count the Hunger Games.)

Nymphomaniac:  And how is this going to be better than any porn with this premise?  And I have to watch Shia LaBeouf?  Pass.

Noah:  Bible characters kicking ass?  C’mon.  I mean, of all the characters Russel Crowe could play, why this?  There’s not going to be any guns.  What?  Is there a fist fight scene with the rhinos?  Pass.

Rio 2:  No.

Transcendence:  This entire movie was done in an X-Files episode, so why should I pay $12 to see it?  I predict this will hit Netflix so fast anyway, the next time I see it will be to pass by it to download another movie that begins with “T”.

A Haunted House 2:  No.

Robocop (again):  I heard from a guy that downloaded illegally that he regrets watching it.  That’s enough for me to save my money.

Anchorman 2 (again):  I kinda wanna see this, but why is it back in the movies again?  This should already be on HBO or something.

Non-Stop:  Oh, gee, a whole movie of actors trapped on a plane?  Look, Liam Neeson was great in Taken, but Taken was also a well-written and well shot movie.  All these Taken knock-offs are just annoying.  But, it’ll probably be better than The Grey.

Okay, that’s enough for now.  I’m going to watch reruns of Tosh.0.

└ Tags: A Haunted House 2, Anchorman 2, cinema, comedy, Divergent, films, funny, Hollywood, humor, movies, Mr. Peabody and Sherman, Noah, Non-Stop, Nymphomaniac, Rio, Rio 2, Robocop, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, Transcendence, Why I'm Not Seeing These Movies
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