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Get Bitter Laid
Bitter's Chick
Your Cheatin' Goth
The Apology
Freshmen Have Their Uses
The Campus Handy
Adviser in Getting Laid
Buddy Virus Returns
Romance is Dead
We Hate Your Girlfriend
The Cycle of College
Love or Ice Cream?
Not That Much of a Bro
Goth Pledge
Say It With Pants
Colorado Road Trip
Pot Bar
Determined Depression
College Brain Surgery
A Dick in Time
Sep23

Twitter in Focus: Douglas Coupland

by tonyd on September 23, 2009 at 12:01 am

Hello, bros!  And welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is author of “Generation X”, Douglas Coupland.  He’s got a new book out called “Generation A”, but screw that, we’re going to review his tweets.  Let’s take a look.

September 11th, 10:31am:  “Smart: http://bit.ly/aCCFx (thank you Kate)”

What?!  No link honoring those that died on 9/11?  You commie.

September 12th, 2:38am:  “Dubai: http://bit.ly/4uw61R”

What?!  No link honoring stupid enough to follow Glenn Beck?  You liberal elitist!

September 12th, 1:58pm:  “I really have become addicted to Klondike bars for breakfast… they’re like square frozen bowls of cereal — they’re practically vitamins.”

I agree.  That’s why I’m 450 lbs.  Well, that and I drink mayonaisse.

September 13th, 6:41pm:  “Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday …just who was this ‘Wednes’? And why do they get a whole day named after them?”

He was the Roman God of Hump Days.  Romans celebrated his day by offering $2 pitchers at their local vomitorium.  But only from 4 to 7.

September 13th, 7:30pm: “Crap. *Now* what? Just got an angry email from Tues.”

Don’t answer a future email, Doug!  Especially an angry one!  You might never be born!

September 14th, 2:21pm:  “http://bit.ly/10vumE”

Pleasant!

September 14th, 8:36pm: “Cease and desist letter from Satur’s lawyers. This is getting too freaky.”

Satur?  You mean the male companions of Pan and Dionysus?  I didn’t know those guys even had lawyers.

September 15th, 10:55pm:  “To all event attendees this week and next: I’m collecting plastic bottle tops: peanut butter, juice, detergent… it’s for an art project.”

You know, it’s in my trash somewhere.  I’ll just bring you the whole bag and you take whatever you want.

September 15th, 10:57pm:  “Shaving cream. Toothpaste. Glue. Hair gel. Coffee cans.”

No, leave the toothpaste.  The raccoons love that.

September 15th, 10:58pm:  “Question for smokers: Do Canadian cigarettes have individual logos on each cigarette? Some brands, not others?”

No, but they all contain just a hint of back bacon flavor.

September 16th, 5:53pm: “Chuck Klosterman’s ‘Downtown Owl’ is an amazing book.”

Dude, you’re never going to move any copies like that.  Link that bitch.

September 17th, 12:14am: “Thanks to those who brought plastic bottle tops and caps to tonight’s taping.”

Dammit!  Now I’ll have to give my trash to David Sedaris.

September 17th, 12:15am: “Cigarette packs smell just as ravishing now as they did 21 years ago. Lure! Temptation! Taunt!”

Doug, you are truly an addict.

September 17th, 4:53pm: “Cigarettes are the same price as a huge box of 64 pencil crayons. Something is wrong there.”

You think that’s wrong, try smoking the color Orange.  You will NOT be in flavor country.

September 19th, 2:24pm: “Tried buying dynamite for recreational use? It’s hard. Seriously.”

If Hunter S. Thompson can make do, so can you.  Just mix it up from a formula from the Internet like a normal person.

September 20th, 3pm: “Please just send it to Vancouver: http://bit.ly/JXstY”

Best part about a Lego house?  If you get bored you can turn it into a Lunar Module or a Battleship.

September 20th, 3:03pm:  “Enjoyably lose a few minutes of your life: http://bit.ly/Fep8C”

Ah, nice link.

September 20th, 3:11pm: “Chernobyl satellite fun: http://bit.ly/44Wk05”

I can’t see any of the mutants no matter how far I zoom in.

September 20th, 3:20pm: “The Guardian ran a photo of my cousin, James, thinking it was me; a photographer has pulled a fast one.”

That happened to me once.  Why does your cousin always jump in front of people when they get their picture taken?

September 21st, 6:14pm:  “If attending a Toronto event, don’t forget plastic bottle caps: peanut butter, mayonnaise, shaving cream, pop …solid colours only. Beauty!”

Sorry, I can’t make it.  I’ll just have to mail my garbage postage due to Canada like I normally do.  If you get it, you get it.

Well, Doug, thanks for playing and good luck with the new book.  As for your tweets, well, I’d give you a 9 for Style (paced well and easy to read), 4 for Insanity (very levelheaded and normal) and a 5 for Mustness (regularly updated, but not urgent).  This gives you an overall score of 6.   Worth following, bros.  And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: Douglas Coupland, Twitter in Focus
Comments Off on Twitter in Focus: Douglas Coupland
Sep19

Frat Boy At the Movies: Gamer

by tonyd on September 19, 2009 at 12:01 am

Not a bad little flick.  It’s pretty derivative.  It borrows from movies like Death Race, but has a slightly better explanation of the technology behind it.  As always with these “Future gone awry” movies, there is a resistance fighting the good fight, broadcasting from a secret location and a very bad man, played by Dexter, out to take over the world.

The history of the game inside the movie is probably the most unique thing about it.  It’s kind of like the Sims gone awry.  At first, players only controlled other people to do Sims like activity (have sex, interact, etc.)  But then the ante got upped and they created a killing version where players get to move around death row inmates and kill each other.  Ultimately, the resolution is not as satisfying as Gerard Butler’s life has been destroyed for seemingly little reason.  Also the same question with every movie like this, why doesn’t the bad guy just have Gerard Butler shot if he has that much money and power?

The story is pretty by the numbers, but also examines the lifestyle of gamers in the subplot. The gaming “superstar” that controls Butler is forced to confront the fact that he’s a rich little geek that is nothing without his star pawn.  There’s also a second gamer that will remind you of the episode of South Park where the boys play an online game waaay too long.  Although the movie doesn’t really examine gamer lifestyle in much depth, it did make this version of Running Man slightly more interesting.  (And when I say slightly, I mean like fifteen more seconds.)

This is a decent popcorn movie if you don’t think too hard.  It won’t insult your intelligence much, but you’re not going to be blown away by it.  Entertaining, but not very daring.  Watchable, but not great.  I give Gamer 5 keggers out of 10.

└ Tags: Frat Boy at the Movies, Gamer
1 Comment
Sep18

Behind the Scenes: Novemeber 5th

by tonyd on September 18, 2009 at 12:01 am

Hey bros:

Welcome to a new segment here at the Super Frat blog called “Behind the Scenes”.  This was a feature I used to do back in the day on my site with The Travelers.  Pete over at Sluggy Freelance inspired me to try it again.  Pete has a regular feature on his site where he talks about who inspired his stories and characters, so here goes.

The storyline that begins with the strip called November 5th, 2008 was something that I wanted to do for awhile.  Even before we did the strip, Good Luck, O and even before the strip Once You Go Black!  Some strips, you may have noticed, are part of a longer story arc while others are dropped in as stand alones.  I’ll let you in on a little secret you probably already know, on an average week we do one strip of new art and one strip of re-used are with new word balloons.  Sometimes its obvious and sometimes it’s not.

Anyway, getting back to this Obama storyline: People seem to think that politics are important to me.  They’re not really.  I mean, if we all lived in Iceland (no offense Icelanders) our biggest problems with the government would be, do the trains run on time and what are we going to do about zoning for glaciers?  When you live in America, you can’t help but feel responsible for screwing with most of the planet.  (We do things big.  USA!  USA!)  It’s not so much that I’m into who won what election, it’s more about what’s going on with the wars.  The wars impact everything and you’d think we’d learn to avoid them now.

When I was a freshman in college, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. came to speak on campus.  He is probably my favorite author, so you could imagine my excitement.  I sat in the crowded audience with my copy of Breakfast of Champions for him to sign like some errant fanboy.  Then, an amazing thing happened, Kurt, who had probably been paid thousands by our alumni and student organizations, spent about 30 minutes lecturing us all about how apathetic and lazy we all were!

Now this is 1985 (yeah, I’m old.  Shut up.)  so he’s like, “On other campuses, they are protesting South African Apartheid and the Regan Administration.  I didn’t see one sign on this campus!”  What brass balls!  It was awesome.  (Since I was a freshman and had just got there, I didn’t really think he was leveling that criticism at me.  Dude, I’ve only been in school like a month!)   The next day, the same students that had preened and posed and bragged about Vonnegut’s impending arrival made an anemic attempt at a South African Apartheid protest.

And that was the last time I ever saw anyone protest on my campus.

Embarrassing.  And no, I will not be typing my college’s name.  Fuck those guys.  They made me pay a parking ticket on graduation day.  They can get free ad space on my site when they can pry it from my cold dead fingers.

But to the point, Kurt had inspired me.  Now, over the years, I’ve gone to a few protests.  Quite frankly, I’ve never seen the appeal or what they get done.  It’s really a numbers game, so people need to be pissed and dying like they were in Vietnam.  That was not going to happen with Apartheid and its sure as shit not happening with Iraq and Afghanistan.  But the point is, you have to do something.  That was Kurt’s point.  Even more to the point, college students should definitely be involved.

College is the time to try new things, but also to get involved.  People are open minded (or at least they’re supposed to be) and they should be questioning the world around them.  Obama’s election was the most important in terms of race (and thus, MPH’s heavy involvement in this story), but its more about the policy of the wars (which the story will eventually lead and thus Ira is a crucial character too).

Besides the real students they are based after at Ryesmore, MPH is kind of my inner black man.  Because who doesn’t want to be a cool black guy?  He has a strong, confident identity.  Plus being a black guy on campus makes him fairly unique.  My campus had, maybe, two percent black students out of like 5500 people.

Ira is more about my political side.  He’s a guy that’s going to take his political beliefs all the way.  No half measures.  No compromises.  It’s a great fantasy to be able to do that, at least in a comic strip.

The storyline itself, which I wrote a few months ago, deals with the impending doom I felt at the inevitable let down of the Obama Administration.  For me, this happened during the election.  Obama had a chance to vote against the FISA amendment, which helped close the door on lawsuits against telecom companies.  This was a huge deal because it meant that if the bill didn’t pass, we could finally begin to undo the government’s wireless wiretapping program.  But Obama didn’t lead the charge to stop it.  Instead he hedged his bet saying, “He review the matter once he got into office”.  In other words, “Just give me the power and I’ll let you know if I need it.”

That made it painfully clear to me that Obama wasn’t going to be much better than Bush.  So, like Ira, I voted for Nader.  (Go, Ralph!)  Mistah Shit, Rubber and Dick represent the mainstream views of Nader and the election.  People complain, but they don’t vote or they’re just too ignorant to care or understand.  An underlying sadness to the comedy, I suppose, if you look at it that way.  Perhaps you can look at it like the late great Mr. Mike O’Donoghue, “It’s very easy to make people laugh.  That’s not the point. It’s very difficult to make people think. Art is the cake. Comedy is the frosting. The trick is to get them to eat the cake.”

3 Comments
Sep17

Who Should Eat a Dick: Guest Column

by tonyd on September 17, 2009 at 12:01 am

sf-tony-avatar.jpg with Tony DiGerolamo

Every Thursday, Super Frat lists individuals whose behaviors have been so deplorable that they should eat a dick.

It’s Thursday.  God declared Sunday a day of rest, but he declared Thursday would be a day of reckoning for dick eaters.  Let the justice begin!

 –  To the ACORN workers that offered to help set up an underage prostitution ring, just a quick reminder to remove the cock rings before you eat a plate of dick.

– To whoever strangled poor Annie Le on her wedding day and stuffed her in a wall, open wide, there’s a heaping helping of cadaver dick from the Yale med school waiting for you.

– And talk about wrong.  It’s bad enough being homeless, but when someone steals your bike and kills you.  Could it get any worse?  I think the murdering tattoo artist should get a piled high helping of tattooed dick and probably will where he’s going.

–  A bit of good news: The Texas woman who was gang raped allegedly by KBR workers in Iraq and then locked in a shipping crate to prevent the reporting of the incident, will finally get to face her allegedly attackers in court.  Good for you, ma’am.  And may the judge sentence them all to eat a giant, dusty dick.

– To Senator Baucus and the insurance companies that want 13% of our pay right off the top and to fine us $3800 for NOT having what is probably going to be insanely expensive healthcare, well there just aren’t enough dicks to go around.  Some of you boys will have to share.

Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board

└ Tags: ACORN, Annie Le, homeless murder, insurance companies, KBR gang rape, prostitution, Senator Baucus, Who Should Eat a Dick
1 Comment
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