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Oct04

Your Fratoscope: October 4, 2015

by tonyd on October 4, 2015 at 12:33 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  The Cake Boss will repossess your birthday cake and beat up your friend that ordered it.  He wishes you a happy birthday, though.

Aries:  You find a dollar, which would be lucky, except that’s all that’s left in your checking account.

Taurus:  You’ll eat some cheese and that will be about as exciting as it gets for you this week.

Gemini:  You’ll eat some cheese on top of a blimp that’s crashing into the Vatican while fighting Nazis and that will be about as exciting as it gets for you this week.

Lemini:  You will try the first pumpkin spiced French Fry and realize that trend has gone way too far…until you’re handed the pumpkin spiced ketchup.

Cancer:  The stars say, spot searching other cookies for fortunes, they’re just in that one kind.

Leo:  You will realize halfway through the comedy movie you’ve been laughing it, that’s it’s actually a very scary and graphic horror movie.  You sicko.

Virgo:  You will discover that your ex’s comic book collection makes great kindling.

Libra:  You will regret leaving behind your stuff at your Virgo ex’s place.

Scorpio:  This week, wash your anal beads, company is coming.

Sagittarius:  You’ll discover that socks make excellent toilet paper in a pinch, but that they don’t flush as easily.

Capricorn:  Take charge of today because most of the people that live in your building will be passed out from the gas leak.

Aquarius:  You will really misinterpret the term “baker’s dozen” and sleep with the baker’s wife.

Pisces:  You will think of climbing Everest as a romantic and cool thing to do, until you hear what they use for waypoints.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, baker's dozen, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, french fry, funny, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Mount Everest, Pisces, pumpkin spice, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
1 Comment
Oct03

Level Up: Hearthstone

by tonyd on October 3, 2015 at 12:01 am

This is a logo owned by Blizzard Entertainment for Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft.

Well if the amount of times one comes back to play a game is any indication of good it is, Hearthstone is a winner.

While Magic cards can’t seem to get an online and/or tablet game that fans embrace, the relentless PR campaign of Hearthstone has no doubt done wonders just like it did for Clash of Clans.  Hearthstone is basically the Worlds of Warcraft version of Magic cards online.  You build a deck, earn better cards and try to best your opponent.  Players start with 30 life points each and one mana.  Each turn, you get another point of mana, all the way up to 10.  It’s these caps and the unique ability of the character classes that make it different from Magic.

And while, yes, there are some cards in Hearthstone that are all but unbeatable, all players have access to them for free (potentially).  During the game, you win virtual gold pieces which can be turned into packs of random cards or passes to the arena battle, where you might earn a pack of cards plus something else.  There are quests you can complete for unique cards, although it takes a while to save for these.  You can also destroy most of the multiple copies of cards for crafting mana so you can build cards.  Never has a card game been so equal to the players.  Yeah, you can buy you way to the good cards, but players that just stick with it can eventually earn them too.

Online play is fun (although it doesn’t count towards earning of gold, which sucks but understandable since gamers try to game the system).  My only problem with the game is the opening salvo.  The player that goes second gets a zero-count card for a free mana point.  This, supposedly, makes up for not going first.  Unfortunately, it tends to be a HUGE advantage in the game, allowing a player to throw down a huge monster early if gets the right card combo.

Ultimately, most of the games come down to who can generate enough cards or the right cards first.  I’ve noticed most of my games, I either get slaughtered or do the slaughtering.  Still, it’s good fun and there are enough cards to keep things interesting.

Couple of nitpicky drawbacks:  First, my iPad one couldn’t handle the game and I had to move it to the PC.  The game really ought to have an option to cut down on the animation.  There’s a lot of it and some it (like opening card packs) very unnecessary.  Like Magic, there are a handful of cards that really unbalance the game.  I also think the decks could be bigger than 30 cards, but that might be a server issue.

Online players can’t really trash talk you because they are limited to what they can convey.  This is probably a good thing, since more than once I went bananas when an opponent took forever on his move and he was beating me anyways.  It’s hard to tell if that’s a signal issue or just an indecisive noob sometimes.

But be warned, Hearthstone is pretty addictive, but it’s a good substitute for Magic, especially if you’ve run out of money for packs.  It’s a shame the Magic Card people couldn’t adopt the same system.  It would probably work great for them.

I give Hearthstone 8 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

└ Tags: cards, Clash of Clans, comparison, Hearthstone, Level Up, Magic Cards, Magic: The Gathering, PR, rating, review, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, TV spots, video games, World of Warcraft
1 Comment
Oct02

Ten Things I Expect My Dogs to Put on a List

by tonyd on October 2, 2015 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

Running short this week so I let my dogs write this list.

  1. Food
  2. Ball
  3. Crotch
  4. Outside
  5. Poop
  6. That noise
  7. That other noise
  8. Water
  9. Squirrels
  10. Treat!
└ Tags: ball, comedy, crotch, dogs, food, funny, humor, list, outside, poop, squirrels, Super Frat, Ten Things I Expect, that noise, Tony DiGerolamo, top ten, treat, water
1 Comment
Sep30

Twitter in Focus: Morgan Murphy

by tonyd on September 30, 2015 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is comedy writer, Morgan Murphy.  Let’s see what she’s tweeting.

@morgan_murphy

August 26th:  “america is going to hell in a handgun”

Well, not for three days.

August 30th:  “I get sad every time I see Cecil the lion’s number in my phone.”

If only you had warned him about going to the dentist that day.

September 6th: “my heroes are rarely this young but fuck it #WackaFlocka #DontDrinkAndDrive https://instagram.com/p/7S-1KrTTNQ/”

I wonder what kind of mileage Mattel toys get?

September 8th:  “Kim Davis looks like a nurse who kills her patients”

That woman just won’t go away.

September 14th:  “blessed 2 B among peers #VanityFair ”

Nice, but I don’t read Vanity Fair.  Not enough cosmetic ads.

September 15th:  “my mom facetimed me at 1:30am. and they say there aren’t any women in late night.”

Did she lead with a monologue?  Always the worst part.

September 16th:  “I’m “almost broke my neck trying to put a sock on a damp foot” years old”

So…34?

1 day ago;  “If you don’t believe I’m Jewish, just wait till you hear me describe a sandwich.”

Is it like this?

Okay, let’s rate Morgan’s tweets.  Could use some more behind-the-scenes info, but other than that, funny stuff.  I give her a 7 for Mustness, a 9 for Insanity and a 9 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 8.3, follow Morgan.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

 

└ Tags: comedy, funny, humor, Kim Davis, Links, Morgan Murphy, rating, review, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, Too Much Tuna, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus, Vanity Fair, writer
1 Comment
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