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Feb14

Your Valentine’s Day Fratoscope

by tonyd on February 14, 2016 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  You will get laid on your birthday, but it will be a dead giveaway to your guests when you come back to your party with the clown’s make up in your lap.

Aries:  Your contraception fails, but did you really think that Wonder Bread wrapper was going to hold?

Taurus:  That box of chocolates will get you laid, but with the CVS clerk where you purchased it, not with your SO.

Gemini: You’ll spend Valentine’s spooning someone, it just depends on which cell they put you in.

Lemini:  Cupid will accidentally hit you in the eye, which is probably why you get skull fucked later that day.

Cancer:  You will get plenty of Valentine’s Day cards, all from those sex dolls you used to own.

Leo:  The bad news is, the maid will walk in while you’re having sex.  The good news is, she’ll get off with the both you minutes later.

Virgo:  You won’t get any this V-Day, unless you count what your dog does to your leg while you sleep.

Libra:  You will find a trail of rose petals leading to your cable TV guy installer’s van.

Scorpio:  The stars say, you’ll get laid and the stars will totally watch it.

Sagittarius:  Barry White’s ghost rises from the grave to be your wingman this week.

Capricorn:  You will make drunken sweet love to a standee of Taylor Swift.

Aquarius:  Your Valentine’s Day date is extremely sexy until you accidentally swallow the key to the handcuffs.

Pisces:  You really should’ve started shopping for a Valentine’s Day gift earlier than ten minutes after reading this.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, cupid, funny, future, Gemini, handcuffs, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, love, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, sex, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Valentine's Day, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
Comments Off on Your Valentine’s Day Fratoscope
Feb13

Rewritten Headlines: Goodwill to Gonzales

by tonyd on February 13, 2016 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Charity Takes Advantage of Destroyed Relationships

Worst Doctor Ever Found

Athlete to Bang Lots of Females

Just Another Day in Florida

Actor Pretends He’s Not an Actor

Man Awesome at Work

Rich Get Richer

Couple Arrested for Trusting Son

High School With Dangerous Halls

Speedy Gonzales Finally Slows Down

└ Tags: actor, charity, comedy, couple, current events, Doctor, drunk driving, females, Florida, funny, George Clooney, Goodwill, headlines, high school, humor, News, Rewritten Headlines, Rewritten News, Rich, richer, Speedy Gonzales, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo
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Feb12

Fat Guy Eats: Kitchen 519

by tonyd on February 12, 2016 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

Restaurant:  Kitchen 519

Address:  200 East Evesham Road Glendora NJ 08029

Food:  American

Price:  Good (About what you’d expect)

Portions:  Very Decent

Taste:  Excellent

Service:  Excellent

Atmosphere:  Hipster

So me and the Missus decided to avoid the Valentine’s Day rush and go out on a Thursday.  Close enough to the weekend to feel like it’s almost there, yet far enough away to keep the place empty.  Despite that, Kitchen 519 was pretty packed.  Most the clientele were young locals and young families.  The décor, as the Missus said, was “Refrigerator Magnet”.  It was white walls that had been dotted with kitchen aprons and pieces of artwork for sale.  The Missus, who had been a budding fine artist herself, declared the art pretty good.  I countered that she should be painting and selling her paintings for $150 a pop, which led to a discussion about how artists struggle, etc.

Anyhow, I had the Inside Out burger, being a burger guy.  A burger patty stuffed with gouda, bacon, arugula, tomato, carmelized onions and garlic aoli served with either salad or garlic fries.  I asked for fries and got both.  I thought it was either or, which let me to order the house salad, pear, spring mix, goat cheese and dressing.  It was all good (although if I had to nitpick, it could’ve used more dressing).  Still, everything was fresh and delicious.  I asked for a medium burger, which is always hard to get some pink in the meat—  Didn’t see the pink, but it was very juicy and good.

The Missus got the gouda mac n’ cheese with chicken, which was also good.  She also got the Grilled Caesar Salad, which looked fancy.  I prefer fresh lettuce myself, but to each his own.  Oh and before all that, we had a Cuban Quesidilla appetizer.  Pulled pork, pickles on a tortilla with spicy mustard.  That alone, could’ve been a lunch.  Very filling.

Since we were doing V-day, we got dessert.  I had scoped out that Kitchen 519 had chocolate covered bacon sundaes for the Missus, but she went with a Red Velvet crème brulee.  I can’t turn down Bananas Foster served in one of those edible shells.  Man, was that good!

Our waiter, Alec, was on the ball, as was the rest of the staff.  I drink iced tea like most people breathe air and it was constantly flowing.  Good brew too, plenty of lemon.  This was a small, but busy place and the service was on point.  All totaled, our meals were $73 plus change.  I hadn’t intended to spend that much, but quite frankly, it was Valentine’s Day and the food was so good who cares?

The tables are all in one big room with booths on the side, so if you don’t mind the din Kitchen 519 would be a solid place to take a date or your sweetie.  They do tons of vegan dishes as well and they do catering.

I give it 9 out of 10 keggers, bros.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

 

└ Tags: American, burger, Fat Guy Eats, food, Glendora, good, hipster, Kitchen 519, Mac and Cheese, NJ, rating, restaurant, restaurant review, review, salad, Super Frat, the missus, Tony DiGerolamo, Valentine's Day
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Feb10

Twitter in Focus: Bill Plympton

by tonyd on February 10, 2016 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is master animator, Bill Plympton!  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@plymptoons

February 1st:  “Become a Patron to Revengeance co-creator Jim Lujan’s Cartoons and keep 2-D animation weird! http://www.patreon.com/jimlujan  pic.twitter.com/A2JZBY322s”

That does look pretty weird. 

February 3rd:  “I just backed PEAR CIDER AND CIGARETTES the animated movie on @Kickstarter http://kck.st/1StSsCo ”

Bill is workin’ the Kickstarter hard.

February 3rd:  “Please help support “Pear Cider and Cigarettes” on Kickstarter with animation by Robert Valley @massiveswerve https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/395550245/pear-cider-and-cigarettes-the-animated-movie …”

Does look sweet.  Reminds me a little of Cowboy Beebop.

February 8th:  “Headed 2 Santa Barbara for @SBIFF My new short “The Loneliest Spotlight” plays 2/9 at 5:20 pm & 2/10 at 10:20 pm. http://sbiff.org”

Neat.  Guess it must be quite a ride being a famous animator.

February 8th:  “Wow! #CheatinMovie is #37 on @kickstarter‘s “First 100,000 Funded Kickstarter Projects in 100 Numbers” list: https://medium.com/kickstarter/the-first-100-000-funded-kickstarter-projects-in-100-numbers-ca0f3dc2d538#.4smzo31mj …”

Neat.

January 28th (Pinned):  “My new short The Loneliest Stoplight w/ @pattonoswalt starts Fri at @ifccenter & nationwide. http://goo.gl/qBlTmy  ”

The trailer is here.  Looks good.

Okay, let’s rate Bill’s Tweets.  Mostly plugs, although plugs for other people too.  Not much behind-the-scenes, but I can’t complain.  I’m all business on my Twitter.  I give Bill a 6 for Style, a 7 for Insanity and an 8 for Mustness.  That’s an overall score of 7, follow Bill.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

└ Tags: animator, Bill Plympton, Cowboy Beebop, kickstarter, rating, Revengeance, review, Super Frat, The Loneliest Stoplight, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
Comments Off on Twitter in Focus: Bill Plympton
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